Anonymous wrote:I think you shouldn't do it but not because of the two reasons you listed in your follow up. You're essentially bringing your DD to a strange house and leaving her with a stranger. If it were an absolute necessity, sure, but it's not, so I agree with PPs. Schedule your "me time" during nap time and after she is asleep.

This is a worry for me. I was thinking I should hire the babysitter to come only when my mom is there as DD knows my mom. She probably will get upset anyway because she's never been with my parents without DH or I there, but I'm thinking this isn't reason enough for me not to do this. Like don't people leave their kids with the grandparents all the time?

OP here. Responding to a couple of PPs. It would be great to get some "me time" like shopping, but what I really would like to do is catch up with some close friends. We only ever travel to my parents' area for the holidays and given the length of trip, most of my friends live a couple hours away and everyone is really busy over the holidays, I haven't been able to see some of them in years. The stars just magically aligned and made it possible for us to take this non-holiday trip. My primary reason for this trip is to see family, but my parents both have busy lives and limited time to spend with me and DD. Like lunch or dinner, but not both, every day.

Just ask your parents. It does kind of seem like you are going to get a break and not to actually visit with your family.

I think you shouldn't do it but not because of the two reasons you listed in your follow up. You're essentially bringing your DD to a strange house and leaving her with a stranger. If it were an absolute necessity, sure, but it's not, so I agree with PPs. Schedule your "me time" during nap time and after she is asleep.

What is you schedule an evening activity for your and your Mom and use it as a way to hire the babysitter? See how your Mom does with that? Or do you want just some alone time for yourself?

I'm desperate to do this at my inlaws. They're in great shape but refuse to be babysitters. "We already raised our children." Sigh. It's SO hard though because when we visit our inlaws, we'd like to see childhood friends, go to weddings and other events at night. We just decline invites because it does seem rude to hire a babysitter when i'm visiting someone else's house.

This is OP. Thanks everyone for the feedback. It sounds like the consensus is that what I am considering is rude because 1) I'm insinuating I don't trust my mom and 2) I'd be inviting someone over to their home. As to #1, my mom would not be offended. She's not one of those grandmas dying to babysit and plus she knows her limitations. She has said to me and siblings multiple times that if we had kids younger, she could do more for us, but now she's in her late 60s, there's only so much help she can provide. Whenever she stays with us, our sitter comes anyway and my mom has remarked how nice it is to have the extra set of hands. #2 is more of an issue and I will talk about this with her. My parents are used to random people being in their home (it's currently being renovated and there are workers milling about during the day), and I was going to ask my mom to ask around at her church so good chance the sitter is a friend's daughter or niece or something like that. I do appreciate the feedback as now I know how to go about speaking about this with her!

You need to ask your mom some very direct questions. Mine would be happy to supervise a sitter because the kids were too much for her when they were little. Sound your mom out on this -she could be horribly offended or totally relieved and you won't know until you ask

...

Anonymous wrote:I think it's rude. I'd just go out during nap time and after the baby's asleep.

Yeah that's basically saying mom I don't trust you to take care of my daughter. Also, it's very rude to invite someone to their house.

Play it by ear. Since you'll be there for 2 weeks, maybe after a couple of days you'll be able to go out shopping or whatever and feel like your DD will be comfortable with your parents for a little while.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's rude. I'd just go out during nap time and after the baby's asleep.

This

Yup

Anonymous wrote:I think it's rude. I'd just go out during nap time and after the baby's asleep.

This

I think it's rude. I'd just go out during nap time and after the baby's asleep.

I'll be visiting my parents on the West Coast with almost 2 yo DD for a couple weeks this spring. It will be our first time traveling without DH and I am now realizing that this is a great opportunity to get some quality ME TIME. I.e., time to catch up with friends I haven't seen in years, go shopping for fun, things I haven't done since DD was born. My mom is great with DD, but given her age and health, I'm thinking I should hire a babysitter. TBH I'm a little uneasy about this on multiple fronts:

1. Babysitter would be watching DD at my parents' home, not mine. I think my parents are pretty chill and their place is huge, but is it a bit weird and rude of me to hire someone who will be in their private space? Assuming they are okay with it (which I think they will be), should I have the babysitter at their home only when one of them will be as well so there isn't the discomfort of a stranger alone (with DD) in their home?

2. Babysitter would need to drive to get to the park, playground, etc. and that makes me a little nervous. We live in a walking area and DD has only ever walked anywhere with her sitters. What if anything should I do to ensure she is a safe driver? And aside from checking references, what else should I do to check her background?

3. I am a SAHM and aside from me and DH, DD has only ever been watched by two sitters and only at home. She likes my parents, but their home is not our home and she's never been alone with them and I would not be surprised if she freaked out if I left her there. I feel kind of bad not just for DD, but for my parents who will have to be there for DD's freak out. Is it inconsiderate of me to put them in this situation?

What if anything else can I do to make this situation go as well as it can? I feel like my parents will be inconvenienced in some way or another by me hiring a sitter instead of watching DD the whole time and I want to minimize the burden and annoyance to them.