OP here: thank you for all the thoughtful replies. I appreciate your sharing of information and been there/done that.

We let my daughter do travel soccer at an early age and I kind of wish we hadn't. It's hella expensive and very time-consuming and it's been harder to find a good carpool for practices than we were told that it would be. So we're on the fence about doing it again next year, though we definitely do see the value in it (she's a much better player than she would be without it).

Other than that, we've been lucky in that she isn't *so* good at anything expensive that we've had to buy in. She wasn't good at gymnastics and wasn't built for it, so we left that behind. She wasn't into ballet, but likes other types of dance that are less time-consuming, so there's that. She wants to pursue an instrument, but I'd personally rather her do something more active.

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately no riding.
But then we thought we were safe with violin. Not at all. DD is 7 and total annual cost is $5K (not counting the nice violin we bought her).
Luckily we don't have any money left over for travel sports

That sounds like a lot? How do the expenses break down.

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Since I am a stay at home mom, I can I fully support my son in school and other activities. He loves what he's doing and I don’t have to remind him every day to give his best. My son goes to public school, he does baseball in spring and marching band in fall season. We don’t pay any amount. He loves to play drums and he also play at the church every Sunday during worship service. He loves to write essays and public speaking so he participates in a youth group where talents are being enhanced. My part here is to remind him about the deadlines. God bless your family. Thank you for sharing.

We've been dabbling in activities, just to try to figure out what my kid might be good at. We also don't do anything year round. Some sports you can play on your own without shelling out bucks to be on a team, like basketball. You can learn ice skating after taking a couple seasons of classes, but then you can just do it for fun without trying to be competitive. The downside of this approach is that your kid won't be a black belt in karate by age 7, and probably won't become an Olympic athlete.

Agree with the PP. Stick with the lower key options. You can do a gymnastics class once a week. No travel soccer. DS plays rec with MSI and it's not that much money or time.

One sport a season.

Don't get caught up in doing one sport Year round. Not good for kids anyway. They should be doing a variety of activities. Less chance of injury and makes them better rounded athletes. Their bodies are still developing.

There have been studies about that - let the kids try out different sports. Don't focus on one until MS/HS.

You can find ways to expose them to some activities without committing. Camps have opportunities to horseback ride; the family can spend a day ice skating, etc.

But there are definitely limits.

Anonymous wrote:Funny you should mention horse back riding, my oldest just started begging for lessons (8yo). We were thinking, oh sure, once a week doesn't sound bad, but then mentioned it to a neighbor who immediately started telling us how the costs go up.

Precisely. Kids don't understand the value of money at that age, so to them it's no different than any activity.

Unfortunately no riding.
But then we thought we were safe with violin. Not at all. DD is 7 and total annual cost is $5K (not counting the nice violin we bought her).
Luckily we don't have any money left over for travel sports

I simply told her "here are your options." If I don't want her to do something, it's not presented as an option. It's that simple.

Funny you should mention horse back riding, my oldest just started begging for lessons (8yo). We were thinking, oh sure, once a week doesn't sound bad, but then mentioned it to a neighbor who immediately started telling us how the costs go up.

We absolutely give limitations. Horse back riding isn't in our budget and they know it. They don't get to do whatever they want, but if they want to do something we will try to do it but on our terms. They can do gymnastics without being on a team. One 90 minute clsss a week. They can do rec soccer or baseball, they don't have to do travel. Practice an instrument through school, no need for private lessons. Can swim in the summer, doesnt have to be year round. Even with these rules we feel overscheduled. Just do what's right for your family. You're still the parent and you hold the credit card, not them.

On the surface, I want to say, anything my kids are passionate about or interested in, we have enough resources to help provide them the opportunities to pursue them. On the other hand, while DH and I were involved in many different areas as children, I'm realizing some have higher costs, higher bar for achievement, more time commitment required, etc...

How do you/did you help guide their activities and how soon did you allow them to focus?
Based on our own experience, DH and I wanted our kids to pursue a language/instrument/sport anything else could be peripheral. This was how we were raised. However, I'm already noticing that categories like gymnastics and ice skating require high of time and money investment from a younger age to be actively participating in them.