Age appropriate.

I still remember getting a gentle but firm talking to because I had drawn a picture and captioned it "Jeff's Butt and Weiner". Jeff was our neighbor who moved away when I was in first grade, so I know we were really little when it happened, and it's one of my earliest memories. My parents were laid-back and understood developmentally normal behavior, but I sort of innately knew that there was shame associated with it (otherwise, why mention it? I drew stuff all the time). Jeff and I were same-age playmates, but I wasn't told until I was older that he had some learning difficulties, so perhaps the parents were concerned that he didn't fully understand or was following along rather than an active participant.

I'm glad my mother didn't ignore it, but tread lightly. Sexual curiousity and experimentation is so so common and normal. I engaged in lots of same sex and opposite sex "looking and touching". I think it becomes a problem when it goes beyond that or if one child is being coerced or if there is a big developmental or age gap. It is all so context dependent. So yes, it's normal, for preschoolers especially, to be obsessed with genitals. The best we can do is supervise, emphasize bodily autonomy, and not freak out when experimentation does happen.

Totally normal OP.

Agree with the other poster who says to say it's a nice picture (and file it away as something you can laugh about when they're adults!) and ask the kid to draw sibling's elbow or something else silly. To reiterate that it's just another body part.

The more you make it a big deal, the more they'll do it!

Clearly, you need to instill a deep sense of shame, OP.

JK. Normal. This too shall pass.

Same situation here and mine are pre-K and 1st grade. We stopped joint baths a few months ago because of this but don't otherwise make a big deal of it.

Time to start separate baths. They go through a phase like that and it gets kinda freaky, but it passes.

Ugh. Other families, not "our" families.

I'll go away now...

Oh, also - I do talk with them about how everyone feels differently about these things. Some people are very private, some people might be embarassed about talking about these things, some people won't be embarassed at all, etc...

So what is ok within our house (sharing the bath, using penis/vagina/testicle/breast etc...) may be different for our families - so we also talk about "private areas" so they have words that are less clinical they can use in more public settings if need be.

Mom to 5 1/2 yr old boy/girl twins here. This is constant in our house.

We actively teach that only they can give permission to touch their bodies, only mommy/daddy/dr can look at their private areas (and we teach real language for all of those) etc...

They are fascinated with all of it. They still bathe together and share a room and I am generally of the opinion that the less I make of it, and the more I teach them to be in charge of their own bodies - on their own terms, the better. So far it's working out ok.

I wouldn't over-react OP. It's pretty normal. You don't want to teach shame, you do want to encourage healthy boundary setting. I think sometimes it's a fuzzy line but their behavior is certainly quite normal at this stage.

Anonymous wrote:Lol, the more you make it a big deal, the more you're teaching them to attach shame to their bodies and the more they will hide this from you.

A better response would be "Wow, you're a great artist, can you draw me a picture of Larlo's face?" Then as they're about to run off, "Larla, come here for a sec. Just so you know, this isn't appropriate - it's not something you can draw at school or with friends or cousins, ok?" Keep things low key.

OP here. Ha! I did tell my daughter that it was a very good picture of a penis, but that she really shouldn't draw penises at school or outside the home until she is an adult. I'm worried that Child Services are going to give me a call if they do this at school.

To all the suggestions to not make a big deal of it, thank you. I want them to have a healthy curiosity and not shame them for that. We've always been open about body parts and touching themselves is ok (in private). I'll just try to ignore this behavior as much as possible.

Lol, the more you make it a big deal, the more you're teaching them to attach shame to their bodies and the more they will hide this from you.

A better response would be "Wow, you're a great artist, can you draw me a picture of Larlo's face?" Then as they're about to run off, "Larla, come here for a sec. Just so you know, this isn't appropriate - it's not something you can draw at school or with friends or cousins, ok?" Keep things low key.

I have a 4.5 year old and a 3 year old, so a bit younger than your kids. I think i'd freak out about this too but then need to rethink about it from their point of view. First, I think you're reacting because they are the opposite gender, and that feels doubly wrong to you. Second, you're sexualizing this behavior because that's how adults would view this sort of thing - as sexual exploration. I just think they are learning about their bodies and are fascinated. Third, I think your reactions are reminding them taht this type of behavior is bad somehow, which means they want to do more of it. Fourth, I would do all that you are doing!

So - I think you should stop reacting. They hand you the picture? You don't comment or you just noncholantly respond. They look at each other's bodies in the bath? End the bath without comment. I'd read some more books to them about bodies to demystify things for them. I'd keep stating that their bodies are private adn not to share, but I wouldn't beat them over the head with what they are specifically doing with each other - because it's jus innnocent!

I have two boys, and they continually try to stuff their penises into cups or any other receptacle, compare the sizes of their penises, and chant loudly that their penises are SO big. So weird, but I think it's a phase.

Anonymous wrote:I have a child in K and in preschool, opposite sex. They are constantly looking at each other's body parts and giggling about them. Occasionally one of them will touch the other's private part. We tell them over and over that our body parts are private no one can else should or is allowed to touch them. Today before school they ran up to me and handed me a picture. My daughter had drawn a picture of my son's penis. He clearly posed for her. They thought it was hilarious. I told them it was completely inappropriate and that they can't do that ever again. I'm really not sure what to do. Is this normal? Should I be stricter and have harsher consequences for the looking? For the drawing?

OP here. Siblings are two years apart in school but less than two years apart in age. They've always been close and they still bathe together. I'm wondering if we should start doing separate baths. I don't want to shame them for their curiosity, but there needs to be boundaries.

It's normal. They are curious. I would think harsher punishment would make them want to look/draw more. Just keep telling them private parts are private and don't make a big deal out of the drawings.

I have a child in K and in preschool, opposite sex. They are constantly looking at each other's body parts and giggling about them. Occasionally one of them will touch the other's private part. We tell them over and over that our body parts are private no one can else should or is allowed to touch them. Today before school they ran up to me and handed me a picture. My daughter had drawn a picture of my son's penis. He clearly posed for her. They thought it was hilarious. I told them it was completely inappropriate and that they can't do that ever again. I'm really not sure what to do. Is this normal? Should I be stricter and have harsher consequences for the looking? For the drawing?