Anonymous wrote:My husband's OW was about 50 pounds overweight and basically my physical opposite (I'm 5'2, large chest/rear end, brunette, brown eyes; she was 5'9, bleached blonde hair, flat chested and no rear end, grey eyes). I am objectively more physically more attractive.

But she was very effusive about him, constantly telling him how great he is, baking him cupcakes, etc. I was not as over the moon about him due to a variety of reasons that had arisen in our marriage. I think she made him feel amazing. I did not. There is no excuse for what he did and it may destroy our marriage completely, but I totally understand enjoying adoration. And he did the same for her. Must feel good to have someone shower you with constant compliments.

Haha, baking cupcakes for a married man. It is the lamest trick in the book for a woman desperate for attention.

Anonymous wrote:They say the other women/man usually is less conventionally attractive than the spouse. Does this hold water?

Absolutely true. My husband is very attractive; but because of that, it was easy for him to attract women and he is lazy in bed. When they got sick of his, um, personality, they just moved on. D'oh!

My Aps was way more attractive. My husband was 5'6 and 250 is lbs with a small uncut Penis. My apologies was 6'5, slim and hung. No Brainerd. My then husband was more pissed that he was a different race

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP - is your husband's affair over? Who broke it off?

And did you ever want to confront the other woman?

As far as I know, it's over. He broke it off after I figured it out. I am not willing to spy on him constantly to make sure it's done. That's no way to live.

I met the OW after the affair. I did not confront her. I told my husband not to tell her I knew, and I hope that he listened but who knows. I pretended I was happy to meet her and moved on. We met in a group with several of his coworkers and I didn't want to deal with any sort of confrontation. She, however, basically almost started crying and left. I was, honestly, annoyed that she couldn't keep her shit together, but oh well. She is not my problem, my husband is. I mean, i don't like her and think she has some serious character flaws, but I am not wasting my time on her.

+1

I was cheated on, it was caught and allegedly stopped, but for awhile I was paranoid and obsessed with checking up on everything -- phone calls, texts. At some point you say screw it. I can move on from this or not. With a good home and two great kids we are trying to hold it together and at some point you have to make the decision to trust again. It is the hardest thing I have ever done

Anonymous wrote:My husband's OW was about 50 pounds overweight and basically my physical opposite (I'm 5'2, large chest/rear end, brunette, brown eyes; she was 5'9, bleached blonde hair, flat chested and no rear end, grey eyes). I am objectively more physically more attractive.

But she was very effusive about him, constantly telling him how great he is, baking him cupcakes, etc. I was not as over the moon about him due to a variety of reasons that had arisen in our marriage. I think she made him feel amazing. I did not. There is no excuse for what he did and it may destroy our marriage completely, but I totally understand enjoying adoration. And he did the same for her. Must feel good to have someone shower you with constant compliments.

It does. Wake up!

Anonymous wrote:PP - is your husband's affair over? Who broke it off?

And did you ever want to confront the other woman?

As far as I know, it's over. He broke it off after I figured it out. I am not willing to spy on him constantly to make sure it's done. That's no way to live.

I met the OW after the affair. I did not confront her. I told my husband not to tell her I knew, and I hope that he listened but who knows. I pretended I was happy to meet her and moved on. We met in a group with several of his coworkers and I didn't want to deal with any sort of confrontation. She, however, basically almost started crying and left. I was, honestly, annoyed that she couldn't keep her shit together, but oh well. She is not my problem, my husband is. I mean, i don't like her and think she has some serious character flaws, but I am not wasting my time on her.

PP - is your husband's affair over? Who broke it off?

And did you ever want to confront the other woman?

My husband's OW was about 50 pounds overweight and basically my physical opposite (I'm 5'2, large chest/rear end, brunette, brown eyes; she was 5'9, bleached blonde hair, flat chested and no rear end, grey eyes). I am objectively more physically more attractive.

But she was very effusive about him, constantly telling him how great he is, baking him cupcakes, etc. I was not as over the moon about him due to a variety of reasons that had arisen in our marriage. I think she made him feel amazing. I did not. There is no excuse for what he did and it may destroy our marriage completely, but I totally understand enjoying adoration. And he did the same for her. Must feel good to have someone shower you with constant compliments.

OW here. I'd say that is true in my case. His wife is attractive. I'm not unattractive, but I'd say my strengths are my body and my personality. And ... huh ... same for my AP. He's less conventionally attractive than my DH, but definitely in better shape.

My OM was WAAAY more attractive and in much better physical shape than my husband. No water held here.

I didn't know but know now. Work colleagues, common interests, etc. it blew up terribly but really what the f*ck did they expect?

They say the other women/man usually is less conventionally attractive than the spouse. Does this hold water?

I knew her. I never suspected because she is mentally ill and looks like a man.

Is he? I had no idea. I wonder how badly I'd take it. From this vantage point it looks inconsequential, but I'm sure if I found out he was seeing somebody I'd be upset.

Did/do you know who your spouse has been seeing on the side? Do you have anyone you're worried about?