Anonymous
03/01/2017 15:30
Subject: Closure Does Not Mean Clos[ur]e Heart
WTF.
mshakespeare
03/01/2017 15:27
Subject: Closure Does Not Mean Clos[ur]e Heart
Anonymous wrote:My mom's mom died when my mom was 7. Pretty sure that never "balanced out" for her. Please preach elsewhere.
So - you are saying that your mom didn't have ANY great relationships after her mom died?
She had YOU...
That's balance. She lost a mom. I'm sorry for her loss. But, she had a husband, she had you, she had friends... She had many other meaningful relationships that allowed her life to have balance - and if you asked your mom - I bet she would say that having a DC certainly balanced the life scales of losing her mom.
But - hey - way to be a negative twit.
Perhaps you are right - having you probably WOULDN'T balance out anything... Probably just make it worse.
Anonymous
03/01/2017 15:25
Subject: Closure Does Not Mean Clos[ur]e Heart
My mom's mom died when my mom was 7. Pretty sure that never "balanced out" for her. Please preach elsewhere.
mshakespeare
03/01/2017 14:05
Subject: Closure Does Not Mean Clos[ur]e Heart
I know you may know all of this already, as most people would, but reading through it instead of having to sort it out in your head amidst what you're already going through, can better put things into perspective.
Closure shouldn't be borne from the actions or words of the other, or the blinding distractions of a third party; Closure, in its purest form, is borne from the knowledge you've gained, in retrospect, of all the things that couldn't be and wouldn't be, because it shouldn't be. If we choose to keep our blinders on for so long, we start to lose sight of everything we deserve in a relationship and in another. Take the blinders off and let go.
Making a laundry list of all of their flaws doesn't get you too far; it'll only leave you bitter and resentful of the time you'd spent and you don't learn from the experience. Look at the bright side of things: you were in each other's lives to serve a purpose, and regardless of what that purpose was, in the end, what you've gained from the experience will far surpass all that you think you've lost.
Sure you've diverged from the road a bit and just thinking of the journey ahead leaves you feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. But when you find the right person, all of those days before him won't matter anymore, and you can seek solace in the fact that all of these divergences ultimately led you to him. Look forward to that, instead of looking back.
As a good friend once told me, God is fair: He won't take away what He can't replace, and He usually replaces it with something better in the end. This has always proven true in my life and I have faith. It will be proven true in yours as well.
Everyone who enters my life leaves a mark in some shape or form. There are those I've met who came and went and others who've decided to stay a while. Some of you have moved my soul and made my heart flutter and prance while others have bestowed the precious gift of knowledge, wisdom and truth. And there were some who, remarkably, did both.
However, even with the good I can't discount the times (few in number but great in consequence) I was left scathed and numb, harping in vain and wallowing in self-pity laced with bitter regret. Life has a way of neatly balancing out that way.
Closure shouldn't be borne from the actions or words of the other, or the blinding distractions of a third party; Closure, in its purest form, is borne from the knowledge you've gained, in retrospect, of all the things that couldn't be and wouldn't be, because it shouldn't be. If we choose to keep our blinders on for so long, we start to lose sight of everything we deserve in a relationship and in another. Take the blinders off and let go.
Making a laundry list of all of their flaws doesn't get you too far; it'll only leave you bitter and resentful of the time you'd spent and you don't learn from the experience. Look at the bright side of things: you were in each other's lives to serve a purpose, and regardless of what that purpose was, in the end, what you've gained from the experience will far surpass all that you think you've lost.
Sure you've diverged from the road a bit and just thinking of the journey ahead leaves you feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. But when you find the right person, all of those days before him won't matter anymore, and you can seek solace in the fact that all of these divergences ultimately led you to him. Look forward to that, instead of looking back.
As a good friend once told me, God is fair: He won't take away what He can't replace, and He usually replaces it with something better in the end. This has always proven true in my life and I have faith. It will be proven true in yours as well.
Everyone who enters my life leaves a mark in some shape or form. There are those I've met who came and went and others who've decided to stay a while. Some of you have moved my soul and made my heart flutter and prance while others have bestowed the precious gift of knowledge, wisdom and truth. And there were some who, remarkably, did both.
However, even with the good I can't discount the times (few in number but great in consequence) I was left scathed and numb, harping in vain and wallowing in self-pity laced with bitter regret. Life has a way of neatly balancing out that way.