OP, I was a total social outcast as a child. My mom says I marched to my own drummer, but that is an understatement.

I married a "popular" guy who probably would not have even known my name in high school. He had lots of friends and was invited to parties and whatnot. But in the ten years we have been married, I have come to realize he's really weird too, but his extroverted tendencies hide his weirdness.

It's D.C. We're all dorks. Embrace it.

If it makes you feel better, OP, I was a bit clueless too. I showed up for my first-ever cross country meeting in street clothes and non-running shoes. I didn't realize "meeting" was also "practice." Everyone else seemed to know something I didn't - maybe their parents told them? So embarrassing to try to run laps in a jumpsuit and keds!

I also tried out for the dance team, despite NOT being an especially good dancer, or especially popular. I did not make it.

You sound a little like me. 40 and my husband is my only friend. I've had lots of cringe-worthy moments looking back on my life and childhood, and I'm just socially awkward. DH has suggested I may be on the spectrum.

Anonymous wrote:We all have cringe-worthy memories. I think what makes the difference between

A) the adult who looks back, laughs, and shruggs it off

And...

B) the adult who feels depressed over their awkward childhood

is nurturing, supportive parents who tell you that, no matter what, they love you.

+1 My cringe-worthy memories are too cringey for me to share even on DCUM!

We all have cringe-worthy memories. I think what makes the difference between

A) the adult who looks back, laughs, and shruggs it off

And...

B) the adult who feels depressed over their awkward childhood

is nurturing, supportive parents who tell you that, no matter what, they love you.

I think you were just a typical child doing typical child things.

I used to talk to imaginary friends or pretend I was a famous movie or T.V. star at times.
I would even play act that my real-life was a movie, etc.

Don't beat yourself up over any of this.

Kids are kids.

I'm a weirdo too OP, and always have been. I could tell you so many anecdotes. Then when I grew up I went from looking like a scrawny preying mantis alien with eyes on the sides of my head to being considered hot. I couldn't deal at all. I married a non-weirdo and now think I would be better off with another weird person, and my DH should be with a more normal person like he is.

Hey op you were pretty brave and bold. These are not things to be ashamed about, despite the context in your stories.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All kids are weird. Don't beat yourself up about it.

I had the same thought.

+2

I used to put on my church shoes and "tap dance" on the front sidewalk pretending I was a world renowned tap dancer performing to a sold out audience.

You may have social anxiety or be socially awkward or have a bit of Asperger's. But from there to psychopath? My dear OP, you don't sound that bad!

Does your husband have friends? Do you get along with them? That would be a positive sign. If you are successful in your career and get along with your colleagues, then that's another good sign.

My husband has Asperger's and ADHD. He does not have friends, and tags along with mine. He has been fired from several posts, and once made a colleague cry (he felt awful about it, but in the moment, he didn't understand why he had made her cry, I had to explain it to him).

Definitely not a sociopath - not even close. Maybe a bit socially awkward or quirky, but that's okay. No shame in that.

You sound a lot like me. I was always socially awkward and have few friends besides my husband.

I could have done any of those things also.

I remember being about 12, and reciting some movie quote to a friend. She told me to stop, that I was annoying, and that "all of our other friends didn't want to hang out anymore because I acted so annoying sometimes." I really withdrew from people after that, for a while, until well into high school. I always felt odd. I still do.

Anonymous wrote:All kids are weird. Don't beat yourself up about it.

I had the same thought.

All kids are weird. Don't beat yourself up about it.

All of a sudden a bunch of weird memories are coming back, and it really makes me wonder wtf was wrong with me as a child. My parents hardly took me to the Dr so I'm sure I was undiagnosed with something. Maybe I was a little sociopath. Ex1. I tried out for the choir in the 4th grade, didn't get in. But I showed up anyway. So embarrassing there was a table with name tags, and while mortified I just went with it. The teacher didn't know what to do. Ex2. Walking home from the bus I used to walk right behind girls in neighborhood and pretend to laugh or talk if my mom was outside to make it look like they spoke to me. Ex3. I would make up "friendship day" and try to find a new friend by giving them a present or something.

I guess I shouldn't be too surprised I.am 30 and my husband is my only real friend.