Anonymous
Post 02/13/2017 12:13     Subject: Bat mitzvah dress
OP: is this for her bat mitzvah? if yes, then get her what she wants withing reason---a lot of pressure on her that day. If it is for a friend's bat mitzvah, then don't bother.
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2017 12:09     Subject: Re:Bat mitzvah dress
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote: Why is your gut saying no, if the dress is appropriate, you can afford it, and she loves it?


If she gets a $350-400 dress for her bat mitzvah, what will she expect for prom, etc? I try to think about the future, not just the moment, in these kinds of decisions.


You're making this way too complicated. I went to a lot of school dances. The costs of the dresses didn't escalate each time. My mom and I had fun shopping together. Sometimes we found a steal, sometimes we found something too fantastic to pass up despite the cost, sometimes the event itself mattered "less" and my girlfriends and I swapped. I'm not Jewish but I went to school with a lot of kids who were. One of my bar mitzvah dresses was $150, which was a lot to our family at the time. It didn't set me up to feel entitled or want to shop at that store or spend that much the next time.


I DK why you think I am making this more complicated. Feel like I know a lot of adults who got it all as kids, especially as tweens and teens, and had a hard time negotiating the transition to adulthood. trying to be mindful that we are helping her grow roots and wings here....
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2017 14:21     Subject: Re:Bat mitzvah dress
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote: Why is your gut saying no, if the dress is appropriate, you can afford it, and she loves it?


If she gets a $350-400 dress for her bat mitzvah, what will she expect for prom, etc? I try to think about the future, not just the moment, in these kinds of decisions.


You're making this way too complicated. I went to a lot of school dances. The costs of the dresses didn't escalate each time. My mom and I had fun shopping together. Sometimes we found a steal, sometimes we found something too fantastic to pass up despite the cost, sometimes the event itself mattered "less" and my girlfriends and I swapped. I'm not Jewish but I went to school with a lot of kids who were. One of my bar mitzvah dresses was $150, which was a lot to our family at the time. It didn't set me up to feel entitled or want to shop at that store or spend that much the next time.
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2017 13:18     Subject: Re:Bat mitzvah dress
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote: Why is your gut saying no, if the dress is appropriate, you can afford it, and she loves it?


If she gets a $350-400 dress for her bat mitzvah, what will she expect for prom, etc? I try to think about the future, not just the moment, in these kinds of decisions.


You're going to be paying that much for a prom dress too, if you can afford it. That's reality. And then there's shoes, hair, etc. So if money is an issue don't spend a cent more than you can afford, but if you can afford it, buy the dress. Maybe shop around a bit more to see if there's something else out there that also fits the bill.
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2017 13:14     Subject: Re:Bat mitzvah dress
Anonymous wrote: Why is your gut saying no, if the dress is appropriate, you can afford it, and she loves it?


If she gets a $350-400 dress for her bat mitzvah, what will she expect for prom, etc? I try to think about the future, not just the moment, in these kinds of decisions.
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2017 06:08     Subject: Re:Bat mitzvah dress
Why is your gut saying no, if the dress is appropriate, you can afford it, and she loves it?
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2017 20:41     Subject: Re:Bat mitzvah dress
Sell it after. https://www.facebook.com/ITSMYPARTYCONSIGNMENT/ They have a ton of Bat Mitzvah dresses and I'm sure would take your dress.
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2017 17:30     Subject: Re:Bat mitzvah dress
Buy it! My mom bought me a really special dress for my friend's bar mitvah, it made me feel great and I still treasure that memory today.
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2017 17:23     Subject: Bat mitzvah dress
I only wore my bat mitzvah dress twice - for that day and then to a boy's bar mitzvah I got invited to that was two months later.
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2017 17:12     Subject: Bat mitzvah dress
I'm fairly cheap, admittedly, and the enormous blow out bat mitzvahs seem crazy sometimes. But for the dress...I don't know, I think she should love it. I would skimp on centerpieces and things like that, but I would likely splurge on the dress. Assuming she won't have a big sweet 16, there won't be many opportunities to splurge on a dress, prom maybe, wedding. IF you can easily afford it, I would go for it.
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2017 16:44     Subject: Re:Bat mitzvah dress
We can afford. I had not specified budget as assumed she would find something that was in range of what I was thinking.

Expect she will grow another few inches, but not much more. Worried that renting could lead to a disaster.
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2017 16:41     Subject: Bat mitzvah dress
What about renting a dress? I don't recall ever re-wearing my Bat Mitzvah dress...
http://charlottes-closet.com/
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2017 16:30     Subject: Bat mitzvah dress
Is there any other occasion where she could wear this dress that you would otherwise buy her a new one? Where do you think she is in her growth?

Could you sell it after?
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2017 14:46     Subject: Bat mitzvah dress
Why would you say no based on your gut and not your wallet? Do your finances allow for the dress that is $150+ more than what you anticipated? If so, buy the dress. If not, tell your DD your EXACT budget and let her know she has to work within those parameters. Simple.
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2017 14:06     Subject: Bat mitzvah dress
DD found a dress - is unique, will probably look good on her. But $150+ than I had anticipated, though cheaper than her previous first choice. many of the ones we both like have already been worn by friends. my gut says no, but i always follow my gut...