As far as extra curricular stuff. I would encourage that they pick something or two things and really excel and go far into that activity. Be it a sport or volunteering. Don't just volunteer at a lot of stuff. Be the summer foreman for habitat project etc. but it takes time to get there so starting early is good, gives you time to find a good activity fit. A leadership position is good but so is longevity in an activity. Shows depth and passion.

Make sure your kid knows HOW to study and that studying and learning is important. Some bright kids (myself included) have a hard time when they don't immediately grasp a concept. The lack is study skills and being able to sit and work and figure something it does not serve them well in harder classes in HS (AP) and in college.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am nervous because I grew up abroad and want to make sure I don't make mistakes with my only child. All I had to worry about was grades from a final exam to get into College. It seems you need to get your kid involved in the right activities, camps, etc. very early in America. Please tell me if I'm starting too early.

Same boat here.

My advice: think Canada for undergrad, US for grad.

Forgot to add: once you do that, just focus on learning and academic excellence, perhaps add French or Spanish, and forget all the American BS.

Anonymous wrote:I am nervous because I grew up abroad and want to make sure I don't make mistakes with my only child. All I had to worry about was grades from a final exam to get into College. It seems you need to get your kid involved in the right activities, camps, etc. very early in America. Please tell me if I'm starting too early.

Same boat here.

My advice: think Canada for undergrad, US for grad.

LOL at people saying not to worry about it, just have your kid be a recruited athlete.

Sounds like a good plan - I'm going to have my daughter pick up lacrosse in the spring of 9th grade, and that will surely smooth her way into Princeton or Stanford.

The best thing I've read on this topic is Cal Newport's book, "How to be a High School Superstar." Kids who sign up for everything and attain low-level leadership in some meaningless clubs aren't really moving the needle. But kids who focus deeply in one particular pursuit and achieve something of note (like recruited athletes) actually do distinguish themselves in the eyes of selective colleges.

And then on top of that, have test scores at the 75th percentile of a school's admitted class, and make straight As in your high school's most challenging curriculum.

There is no single right path to prepare your child to get into a top college. Provide your kid the opportunities to follow their interests academic and otherwise but the drive has to come from them. Top colleges are looking for kids who will contribute in some way to campus life. My daughter didn't seriously think about college until beginning of her sophomore year in HS and she's now very happy at Princeton. She was a very driven student/athlete in HS (certainly not a perfect student mostly A's but a few B's sprinkled in) but she took a challenging course load and like the previous poster, her athletic ability became her hook into the Ivy League.

Anonymous wrote:If you are aiming for an Ivy OP, your child needs to get the best scores, grades he/she can and excel in leadership roles in interesting EC activities. If they are recruitable as an athlete, that is great. Or, if they like music and have played at the Kennedy Center or the likes, tha tis great too. They must be the best or near best at whichever activity they choose to do.

Ignore the people who tell you to "relax". Those are the kids who go to JMU or GMU or the likes.

I relaxed and my kid is at Stanford. But he was a 4 star football recruit. YMMV, but don't kid yourself that sports don't open that door.

If you are aiming for an Ivy OP, your child needs to get the best scores, grades he/she can and excel in leadership roles in interesting EC activities. If they are recruitable as an athlete, that is great. Or, if they like music and have played at the Kennedy Center or the likes, tha tis great too. They must be the best or near best at whichever activity they choose to do.

Ignore the people who tell you to "relax". Those are the kids who go to JMU or GMU or the likes.

Anonymous wrote:New Poster. Excellent advice. Thank you for taking the time to respond.

Yes, and how nice to have a poster who will give a real response instead of simply scolding OP to Actualky dare to care about such things.

Anonymous wrote:Just relax.

This. I 100% agree with everything the above poster said and think it's great advice, but don't forget to let your kid be a teenager and to enjoy these last few years with them. Yes, they'll be home on breaks in college and will visit, but it's not the same as them living with you full time. Do fun things together. Let them go out (keep in mind safety) if they want to. Sit down and talk to them and listen and care. These will be stressful years for your kid. So much to get done and so much to do right to get into that right school. But don't sacrifice their wellbeing and general happiness just for the school.

Again, I do think that the poster at 20:33 is spot on. Best of luck!

Just relax.

New Poster. Excellent advice. Thank you for taking the time to respond.

You aren't starting too early. Middle School in the US is a critical point at which children fall off the college-going path. Ideally your child should take Algebra in the 8th grade at the latest. The more math a young person takes, the more likely they will graduate from college. Be aware that some middle school classes might be considered high school classes by the county and the grades will go toward the High school GPA. They can be expunged, but it is tough. Take as many AP classes as your child is comfortable with and take the exams; or enroll in an IB program for the IB diploma, which is actually better if you want to go abroad. Extracurricular activities--playing in the band, choir, theater, sports--are a must. However, choose two or three things at most and get as much out of them as possible. Don't spread yourself too thin or overload on activities. These activities often start before middle school but the engagement intensifies. Encourage your child to explore as well--perhaps they want to learn a language so a summer abroad might be good. Or perhaps an unusual summer job at a local Garden club. I know someone who interviews Europeans for MIT and always feels bad for them because unless they have something stellar in their back pocket, they don't have the extra-curriculars to get in. Also, go visit University campuses. See Georgetown or drive to Philly and visit Penn. Go visit schools starting now so they can get a feel for different campuses.

Also, do consider foreign universities. Europe in general is good but Germany particularly has excellent universities and they have free degree programs in English. Canada also has great schools.

I think you as a parent should also define what a good school is: Do you mean Ivy league or would you be okay with UVA or Michigan? Or a small liberal arts college like Oberlin or Wesleyan? This will help you guide your child.

It is still that way (grades and test scores) if your kid applies to schools in Europe or Canada.

I am nervous because I grew up abroad and want to make sure I don't make mistakes with my only child. All I had to worry about was grades from a final exam to get into College. It seems you need to get your kid involved in the right activities, camps, etc. very early in America. Please tell me if I'm starting too early.