Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We dished out punishments for my teen earning Bs in a class, for things like forgetting to turn in an assignment that was worth 10% of the grade.

Dropping a comfortable A grade down to a B, not because of issues with the material or test scores but because of carelessness is worthy of losing screen time in my opinion.

We are with you on this, although the punishments are along the way and not when the grades show up.

In this case the missing assignment was due the final week of the quarter and the zero did not post to sis until after grades were turned in and finalized

Imagine our surprise when what had been an upper 90s Aup until the last Tuesday of the quarter showed up as a B+ when grades were posted.

The consequence for not doing work is low grades. The consequence for low grades is slower classes or less prestigious colleges.

You have to get in involved. Tutoring, study skills...

Anonymous wrote:I agree with those who say for you to get more involved. It amazes me how many parents think it's their kids job to figure it all out. Help him organize if necessary. Ask about his homework, read a paper, whatever it takes to show that he must be accountable and that you are interested. Lots of students think the straight A kids are super smart. They're not, they simply work harder.

It's not a philosophy, it's just most parents are lazy and want household low-drama. They rationalize their laziness by shifting everything to the kid.

Beat him with a rubber hose.

I agree with those who say for you to get more involved. It amazes me how many parents think it's their kids job to figure it all out. Help him organize if necessary. Ask about his homework, read a paper, whatever it takes to show that he must be accountable and that you are interested. Lots of students think the straight A kids are super smart. They're not, they simply work harder.

Anonymous wrote:Are we talking Bs? or Ds? Middle school, or high school. Are your kid's grades online so you can follow his progress throughout the quarter? If so, none of this should be a sudden surprise.

I really hope you're not dishing out punishments for Bs.

You're in every thread talking about how great Bs are. They aren't, lady. Get a clue.

I would counsel him and get more involved. Punishing a child without helping him is useless.

Anonymous wrote:We dished out punishments for my teen earning Bs in a class, for things like forgetting to turn in an assignment that was worth 10% of the grade.

Dropping a comfortable A grade down to a B, not because of issues with the material or test scores but because of carelessness is worthy of losing screen time in my opinion.

We are with you on this, although the punishments are along the way and not when the grades show up.

OP. Why were you surprised by the report card? I think the answer is "more oversight and interaction demanded during the term".

If your kid is a junior, and you were surprised, most likely that ship has sailed. Be sure not to squander your retirement savings on a private college education that your kid will squander.

Anonymous wrote:tutoring sessions on organizational skills

Right. Teach him to organize. My grades plummeted in 6th grade. Back then there was no parental oversight of homework. But I read a book on note taking and good study habits, and it taught me to organize and track assignments, deadlines, etc. Everything else fell into place.

This isn't a situation where you should punish. It's a situation where you should teach. And if he doesn't learn, then maybe he's got some executive function or attention issues, and that might need more investigation.

What age/grade? I would probably do as you did and ban non-academic use of most electronics until grades improve. In our house, B's are a required minimum, so I wouldn't allow recreational screen time until either the kids' grades were all B's or above, or there was a specific plan in place for tutoring, remediation of weak areas, etc, to work on any particularly challenging subjects in which grades remained unsatisfactory despite genuine effort.

We tie allowance rates and most privileges to grades. If they don't want me micromanaging their lives, they need to handle things themselves in a way that yields good results. If grades are B's, they're allowed some screen time and a decent amount of freedom, but unless all grades are A's there's room for improvement so we do place some limits on their time such that they will spend more time studying. If they're making straight A's, meeting family responsibilities, and behavior has otherwise been reasonable, we don't limit screen time, the high schoolers aren't given a curfew, and we don't require that they ask permission for most plans with friends -- just inform us of where they'll be and when they'll be home. I've always told my kids -- if you show that you can handle your own life responsibly and balance your various commitments without letting anything slide, I won't have to handle things for you or set many limits, because you will clearly be fine making your own decisions.

We dished out punishments for my teen earning Bs in a class, for things like forgetting to turn in an assignment that was worth 10% of the grade.

Dropping a comfortable A grade down to a B, not because of issues with the material or test scores but because of carelessness is worthy of losing screen time in my opinion.

Are we talking Bs? or Ds? Middle school, or high school. Are your kid's grades online so you can follow his progress throughout the quarter? If so, none of this should be a sudden surprise.

I really hope you're not dishing out punishments for Bs.

tutoring sessions on organizational skills

No his potential. Careless kid stuff like not attempting make up opportunities, waiting until the last minute, failure to follow directions. Totally capable and not a good report card because of effort.

We've taken away screens except for school work.

Weigh in? Something needs to be in place to help make doing better the only option here.