OP here: I agree that the whole "you have a 15% chance each month at age 35" or whatever is baloney. Seriously ALL of my friends got pregnant within a month or two, and so where is that 85%? I think the 85% takes into account all the infertile, but for normal fertile couples, it happens right away, and my friends all happen to be those.

Yes, we have lots of friends who are pregnant with #2 whose first is typically 2.5 or younger. One woman in particular was talking to me at a kid's birthday party last June - she was lamenting the fact that her first had a crappy month for a birthday (like January/February) so they would probably start trying for the second that month or the next so the second would have a birthday in a warmer month. My wife had just had her third miscarriage a couple of weeks earlier. I had to bite my tongue to not say something snarky about how that must be nice to think of planning it that way. Sure enough, she announced her pregnancy on election day - right on their preferred timeline.

I have 6 very, very close friends and each of them got pregnant the first month trying. I know because we're honest about everything with each other and 4/5 got pregnant the first month of marriage. As in, they delivered 9 months to the day after the wedding.

Then I'm a nurse midwife (no longer practicing but worked in the field for about 5 years). I'd estimate that 90% of our patient got pregnant in months 1 or 2 of trying. People often volunteer this and we also ran a pre-conception class and most people would take this class, start trying and be in the office for prenatal care 4 weeks later.

The whole figure of "you have a 25% chance per month" is completely a bunch of cramp IMHO. I have never seen this pan out. I bet 95% of fertile couples will conceive within the first 3 months of well-timed sex. The other 5% just has bad luck. If it takes you longer than 3 months you have some degree of sub-fertility. If longer than 12 months (again of well timed sex) something is probably seriously wrong and you need IVF to ever get that sperm and egg to meet. Obviously there are exceptions to every rule but it does seem like this is the case for the vast, vast, majority of people.

OP here: these people are NOT lying. my best friend who texted me yesterday, who prompted this post, she literally started trying last month, but didnt time ovulation or use an OPK last month, then this month she used an OPK for the first time, and BAM. her first pregnancy (this is her second) was the first month they were off the pill. but she's 37 now, it's not like she's 28. why is it so easy for some people?

and two of my friends got pregnant with their second before they'd even gotten AF from their first- like before they knew they were cycling again.

I'm older so many of my friends had to use ART, but For the vast majority of people they try to get pregnant and they do. Our specials wouldn't be here if that wasn't true.

No. I'm the youngest in my circle and the only one who had no problems becoming pregnant. There needs to be more science education in schools, or something, because a lot of women these days think that "you can have it all" applies to their fertility. Well, technological assistance in that regard is uncomfortable, invasive, expensive, and doesn't always work.

This is a fact based on our knowledge of biology and statistics. Of course, there will always be the 40 year old who got pregnant naturally. But they remain the exception.

Anonymous wrote:I will offer an alternative because it is the only thing that keeps me sane (experiencing a similar phenomenon). People are not being honest. They have been trying for months unsuccessfully and don't tell anyone. Then finally acknowledge it when already pregnant. It is this belief that keeps me sane. Otherwise. I can't be around them.

This OP. I'm a person who never shared my fertility struggles. It's possible it appeared to others I got pregnant easily. I never said that. But I suppose people might have thought it.

I will offer an alternative because it is the only thing that keeps me sane (experiencing a similar phenomenon). People are not being honest. They have been trying for months unsuccessfully and don't tell anyone. Then finally acknowledge it when already pregnant. It is this belief that keeps me sane. Otherwise. I can't be around them.

Yep. All my friends w/exception of one seem to get knocked up upon even considering a next child. A good friend who was on the cusp of divorce just found out she's 11 weeks pregnant w/her 3rd child; they weren't trying OR even living together! My cousins -- 12 in all -- each have 4 kids each; zero fertility problems. My siblings and me? Only one child between the 4 of us. Something is obviously wrong here.

Four of us were trying. Two eventually used IVF: one pregnant with twins a year later and one still not pregnant. Two of us conceived naturally -
One within a few months of trying but she miscarried at 9 weeks. I conceived after 14 months of trying (actually found out I was pregnant day I met with a doctor about IVF) and consider myself extremely lucky.

Out of my 6 closest friends, 4 got pregnant (2 accidentally) while we were trying and then going through fertility treatments. I was happy for them and I wasn't say I was jealous but it was still a real bummer. I just started skipping baby showers. DH didn't get it but I felt like everyone had babies except me.

OP here: it's not just that a lot of people got pregnant so easily, it's literally that even all my infertile friends went on to have it so easy the second time, and here i am going through all the IVF all over again, times 2

i know statistically it's NOT possible that everyone i know gets pregnant the first or second month they try, but when i list my friends i literally have SO many that had that happen

Yep. Everyone decided to get pregnant, got pregnant right away, they had their second by the time I had a successful FET. It sucks! I unfollowed a lot of people on FB so I could keep it together.

Yup. It's like they're timing it so they can all be pregnant together. I've seen so many couples start to maybe think about kids, start trying, get pregnant, have the baby and start to maybe think about baby #2 -- all while I've been actively trying for baby #1. It's been painful to watch.

i am struggling to conceive #2, after struggling for #1. IVF, the works. literally i must have a warped sample but EVERY single one of my close friends, acquaintances etc. gets pregnant within like 1-3 months of trying. Some of them had accidental pregnancies. even the people I know who did IVF/treatments for their first DC, i can count off the top of my head 5 people - all friends- who had either accidental or very easy second conceptions after trouble with the first. ARGH. I need new friends. Other than you internet strangers, EVERYONE i know gets pregnant SO easily. I am saying this because a good friend just told me last month they would start trying for #2, and then just told me she's pregnant (so it worked the first month). UGH.