Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are a wide variety of reasons why someone may choose abortion. That is a serious decision for that person and her doctor to make. Not me. And certainly not the government.

The thing that I don't get is why pro-lifers stop caring about that life after it's born.

Why do you think they don't care?

Also I said that I am okay with abortion for extremely unfortunate circumstances. If a pregnancy is not viable or a danger to the mother, that is okay and should be legal everywhere. My issue is with frivolous abortions.

because if they really cared we wouldnt have any kids in foster homes.
If you want to be pro life that fine, then step up and provide a home for a child that was born unwanted.

Anonymous wrote:Read LIVID's story:
http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/43182.page

Similarly this happened to me too. T18 with birth defects. I'm also a federal employee and was banned from having an abortion under insurance. We desperately wanted that baby, but I did not have maternity leave to recover, was AMA, and did not want to carry that baby for another 5 months to have it die. I also have a coworker who's baby had Potter's Syndrome and was dead on arrival. These are all late term abortions for wanted babies. I would never share my story in real life, but these are real issues for many women who are your friends and relatives.

My struggles with infertility led me to being pro-choice as well. Once I did go through pregnancy, I understood how incredibly public pregnancy is, and how awful it would be to have to go through it knowing I was carrying a child who was dead or dying. All those people who were so happy for me, smiling and asking questions as I neared my due date, I couldn't imagine forcing someone to do that with a pregnancy with a birth defect that was not compatible with life. I could easily see how it would send someone over the edge.

I think abortions happen more than you think, they are just not talked about.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are a wide variety of reasons why someone may choose abortion. That is a serious decision for that person and her doctor to make. Not me. And certainly not the government.

The thing that I don't get is why pro-lifers stop caring about that life after it's born.

Why do you think they don't care?

Also I said that I am okay with abortion for extremely unfortunate circumstances. If a pregnancy is not viable or a danger to the mother, that is okay and should be legal everywhere. My issue is with frivolous abortions.

NP but the #1 abortions that pro life groups talk about are late term abortions. MOST of those late term abortions are for the life of mother or because of severe defects. Pretty sure women don't want to have frivolous abortions either...

My issues are with the ones that AREN'T for the life of mother or defects.

This is silly, most reasonable people can distinguish between a necessary abortion in unfortunate circumstances vs using abortion as a plan B because a woman had sex without protection.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are a wide variety of reasons why someone may choose abortion. That is a serious decision for that person and her doctor to make. Not me. And certainly not the government.

The thing that I don't get is why pro-lifers stop caring about that life after it's born.

Why do you think they don't care?

Also I said that I am okay with abortion for extremely unfortunate circumstances. If a pregnancy is not viable or a danger to the mother, that is okay and should be legal everywhere. My issue is with frivolous abortions.

And this is why people get upset, who deems them frivolous? You? The government? This isn't some decision women take lightly and there are many personal reasons and circumstances that go into doing so...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Help me understand.

I am a middle class 30 year old married woman. I am pro-life but believe in abortion for extreme circumstances such as rape, health of the mother being in danger and possibly fetus abnormalities. I pray and wish to never have to make this horrible decision in my life.

As such, I do not understand why this is such a widespread issue. For most everyday people...they will not have to hopefully deal with it. We don;t all want to abort as a plan B now do we?

The fact of the matter is that far more women that you wish to believe will have to deal with an unintended pregnancy. Also, pro-lifers often don't support birth control or universal child care or welfare. It's unfortunate that you are unable to put yourself in the shoes of a woman with less fortunate circumstances than you.

This is not true. I am pro-life but I use birth control. I just do not think something as radical and dangerous as an abortion should be done routinely or frivolously.

I totally agree with you- I think it should be available in cases of abnormalities, rape of a young child etc. . I think it is personal b/c

a) its been marketed to women that they carry and bring life so they should be at the forefront of protecting children born and unborn b) Most importantly a lot of people believe that a child within the womb is just as much a person as one outside the womb and it is murder to end that life in the same way that it is murder to throw an hours old infant in a trash dumpster. Logically they are completely correct and it is gross that abortion of a 4 month fetus is used as birth control to the extent that it is.

I also belong to a faith that says that the soul enters the fetus, not the embryo , so at the beginning of the 2nd trimester and that an embryo as well as an egg or sperm carry the potential for life but are not human. We also don't permit artificial insemination by a man other than one's husband or surrugacy so each faith has its own guidelines and these are very strong. I think that its good that women who begin life begins at conception follow through on that but I think that there has to be just as a push for the welfare of those children and mothers after birth as well and also universal coverage and access, in fact a push, for birth control for couples who will not be be able raise their children independently.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are a wide variety of reasons why someone may choose abortion. That is a serious decision for that person and her doctor to make. Not me. And certainly not the government.

The thing that I don't get is why pro-lifers stop caring about that life after it's born.

Why do you think they don't care?

Also I said that I am okay with abortion for extremely unfortunate circumstances. If a pregnancy is not viable or a danger to the mother, that is okay and should be legal everywhere. My issue is with frivolous abortions.

NP but the #1 abortions that pro life groups talk about are late term abortions. MOST of those late term abortions are for the life of mother or because of severe defects. Pretty sure women don't want to have frivolous abortions either...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are a wide variety of reasons why someone may choose abortion. That is a serious decision for that person and her doctor to make. Not me. And certainly not the government.

The thing that I don't get is why pro-lifers stop caring about that life after it's born.

Why do you think they don't care?

Also I said that I am okay with abortion for extremely unfortunate circumstances. If a pregnancy is not viable or a danger to the mother, that is okay and should be legal everywhere. My issue is with frivolous abortions.

Do you think abortion is murder? If you do, why is "murder" okay in cases of rape, incest, etc, but not when a woman is being "frivolous?"

Anonymous wrote:Help me understand.

I am a middle class 30 year old married woman. I am pro-life but believe in abortion for extreme circumstances such as rape, health of the mother being in danger and possibly fetus abnormalities. I pray and wish to never have to make this horrible decision in my life.

As such, I do not understand why this is such a widespread issue. For most everyday people...they will not have to hopefully deal with it. We don;t all want to abort as a plan B now do we?

The fact of the matter is that far more women that you wish to believe will have to deal with an unintended pregnancy. Also, pro-lifers often don't support birth control or universal child care or welfare. It's unfortunate that you are unable to put yourself in the shoes of a woman with less fortunate circumstances than you.

I am also a middle class 30 year old married woman. I am white. I think your question belies a lot of selfishness.

I would never have too much trouble getting an abortion. I have access and money. But there are a lot of women who don't have access and who don't have money. Women in abusive relationships, women who can't travel 4 hours on a work day to get a procedure in a different state, women who can't afford to pay for an abortion out of pocket.

These women almost certainly don't want to end up getting an abortion but they might need one. Maybe their husband beats them and they don't want to bring a child into that. Maybe they're 18 and don't want their entire life defined by a sexual mistake made at that age. Maybe they have 5 kids and know another one would break their family. Maybe the birth control failed and they don't want to be a mother. Maybe they found out that they will have an extremely special needs child and they know they won't be able to care for that child financially or emotionally.

Regardless of the circumstances, one mistake should not condemn a woman to a risky health status that can and does result in injury and death to some women. They shouldn't be condemned to seek out coat hanger abortions and risk infection and death that way. They shouldn't be forced (and its always the woman, not the man who is forced) to be a mother for the rest of their lives. Certainly not when as a society that we don't support them.

Anonymous wrote:There are a wide variety of reasons why someone may choose abortion. That is a serious decision for that person and her doctor to make. Not me. And certainly not the government.

The thing that I don't get is why pro-lifers stop caring about that life after it's born.

Why do you think they don't care?

Also I said that I am okay with abortion for extremely unfortunate circumstances. If a pregnancy is not viable or a danger to the mother, that is okay and should be legal everywhere. My issue is with frivolous abortions.

There are a wide variety of reasons why someone may choose abortion. That is a serious decision for that person and her doctor to make. Not me. And certainly not the government.

The thing that I don't get is why pro-lifers stop caring about that life after it's born.

Read LIVID's story:
http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/43182.page

Similarly this happened to me too. T18 with birth defects. I'm also a federal employee and was banned from having an abortion under insurance. We desperately wanted that baby, but I did not have maternity leave to recover, was AMA, and did not want to carry that baby for another 5 months to have it die. I also have a coworker who's baby had Potter's Syndrome and was dead on arrival. These are all late term abortions for wanted babies. I would never share my story in real life, but these are real issues for many women who are your friends and relatives.

Maybe because (1) you can never anticipate what you may want or need, regardless of your intentions, and (2) empathy or understanding for situations other people may find themselves in.

I fall into category (1). I am pro-choice but never believed I would need an abortion. After my first child, I had an ectopic pregnancy. I needed a medicalized abortion for it. It was a matter of health.

This debate is a lot more grey than people like you want to admit. And many, many people don't know what they would do until they are in the situation. So I strongly believe in not foreclosing options because you can't predict the future.

Help me understand.

I am a middle class 30 year old married woman. I am pro-life but believe in abortion for extreme circumstances such as rape, health of the mother being in danger and possibly fetus abnormalities. I pray and wish to never have to make this horrible decision in my life.

As such, I do not understand why this is such a widespread issue. For most everyday people...they will not have to hopefully deal with it. We don;t all want to abort as a plan B now do we?