Anonymous wrote:OP here...my older one started preschool (ages 2 and up) right before I was pregnant with #2. #2 will go there in Fall 2018 when he is old enough. I have some grad student loans left, and we have one car payment left that will be done in March. My husband's car probably has another 2 years maximum.

We're paying $35k/Year for two full-time arrangements. I would entertain the idea of an au pair but we don't have the cash for the upfront fees and another car.

My older one has been in his F/T arrangement for almost 2 years and I fear pulling it back as he's so happy and it's good practice for kinder since that is such a long day.

All I can say is it could be worse: we pay $49,000/yr for our two kids in daycare/preschool. And the oldest just misses the school cutoff, so we have another whole year of both coming up.

OP here...my older one started preschool (ages 2 and up) right before I was pregnant with #2. #2 will go there in Fall 2018 when he is old enough. I have some grad student loans left, and we have one car payment left that will be done in March. My husband's car probably has another 2 years maximum.

We're paying $35k/Year for two full-time arrangements. I would entertain the idea of an au pair but we don't have the cash for the upfront fees and another car.

My older one has been in his F/T arrangement for almost 2 years and I fear pulling it back as he's so happy and it's good practice for kinder since that is such a long day.

You didn't list what you're paying, but I found that having an au pair + part-time preschool for the older one was cheaper than two in full time daycare. There are plenty of p/t preschool options (several free in fact, and you don't have to be in DC), but the parks & rec centers usually have something for peanuts that's well run. Then there are co-ops if you & your husband can alternative the occasional morning off work.

We're paying just under $30k/year for an au pair + preschool for the older one (8a-3pm) + a very p/t program for the 2 yo.

Just hunker down and realize it's temporary, basically.

Ugh, we will have two daycare bills starting this year. In this area it's like college tuition, but with no time to save up. We plan to hold back on retirement savings and college savings for the overlap period of time.

OP, why aren't they in the same daycare? Our daycare is our school for the oldest. A good center should have a curriculum in place for 2 and older. Most centers offer sibling discounts, in our case 10% off of the older tuition.

You're already locked into your mortgage but at the time we were buying I was pregnant with my 2nd so factored that into our housing decision. We bought based off of 1 salary so our mortgage is reasonable.

Is your car paid off, student loans? That was another big one for us. Still have student loans but car payments can get crazy.

We cut out cleaning service. I'll take a day off once a month and deep clean while the kids are at school so maintenance is easier. We also don't eat out as much, try to limit outside babysitters besides (free) family members, limit weekend trips to once a year.

You pretty much have to suck it up for these few years and know that things are going to get better. As a PP noted, hiring a babysitter will save compared to daycare.

We will have 2 in daycare soon. We just figured things will be really tight for a couple years. There are small things you can cut out here and there, but this is such a large expense that you will barely make a dent.

Hire a live in nanny or an au pair. It will cost you about $2000 a month, including the food.
The au pair can take your 3.5 year old to playdates or you can do a part time church preschool which will cost about $300 a month.

Good luck!

OP, there was a lot we just didn't do. At one point, our daycare bill was 50% more than our mortgage. There were very few dinners out. When we DID go out, we looked for places where kids ate free. At one point, there were two years where we did not take any trips - vacations, holidays, nothing. I didn't buy my kids clothes second hand, but I rarely spent more than $3 for a shirt and $5 for pants. There was no cleaning service. No extras - no gym memberships, no subscriptions, etc.

The sibling discount at most places is only 1-3% - totally not worth it to make a change based on that.
We are about to have 2 in daycare also OP - luckily I can make OT if I need to, so I set aside a few nights a week to work after they are in bed, and I work through my lunches sometimes.
I also started carpooling to work instead of taking bus/metro. That saves me about $100/month.
We cut out our biweekly house cleaning service. This one makes me sad.
We both make good salaries, have a reasonable mortgage, but it's a tough few years. Our health insurance premiums are really expensive too. I don't have any other great solutions beyond eating cheap food, giving up gym memberships, put a moratorium on buying clothes for the parents, buy clothes for the kids secondhand, and take advantage of free activities. Don't spend much on birthday gifts for the many parties the older gets invited to.

Hope some others have good ideas!

Everyone that I've spoken to about this has basically said you suck it up for the two years that you have two kids in daycare and it gets so much better once the older one starts K. So...that's what we're doing.

Cheaper daycare. Also, put them in the same daycare so you get a sibling discount.

We cut out TV entirely; we only pay for Internet, and we use Roku (Hulu, Netflix, Amazon, etc.). What is your car situation?

Hang in there. The 9 mo will age up into a toddler room in a few months, right? That will help.

My husband and I each make reasonable salaries and aren't extravagant people, but I feel as though we are flailing and failing financially. We have one kid in preschool (3 1/2) and another in daycare (9 mos) and we are struggling to stay on top of our finances and ensure stability. Our mortgage isn't small potatoes, but its not insanely high either. Does anyone else feel this way, and has anyone found a solution to managing this most difficult stage before our older one is in kindergarten? We have trimmed back on most unnecessary spending and have made every adjustment that we can and its still not enough. We could probably find a lesser expensive daycare and shave $200 or $300/mo, but he seems to be content where he is, and even that doesn't solve everything.