My family is loud, opinionated and we like hanging out together, probably more so than other families. We are a pretty active family, too - playing baseball, football, beach volleyball, water sports, cards, board games. My DH is not necessarily an introvert, but it all gets to be too much for him after a while. He will go to bed early (my family is a bunch of night owls), or will leave for a few hours and run to the store or something. But the rest of the time he is engaged - chatting with people, helping with meals, playing volleyball or whatever. He isn't off in a corner being antisocial. No one in my family bats an eye when he takes off or goes to bed early because he's socializing the rest of the time.

However, there are few people who married into the family that are antisocial ALL of the time and then take off early or need "alone" time. They are perceived as being "quiet" and "not very much fun". I am always the first one to point out that they probably just need a break from us! But we don't take offense to their actions. If anything, my family is very inclusive of anyone who wants to spend time with us but if you don't want to, that's perfectly ok, too.

Anonymous wrote:OP, if you see introverts as difficult or antisocial, you don't quite understand what introverts are. Maybe you're in-laws are just that: difficult and antisocial.

OP here. I'm the introvert. I'm trying to understand how my ILs might see me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your family is the we-do-everything-together on vacation type who likes to talk a lot, what are your perceptions of introvert ILs? Do you understand that some people need quiet/alone time, or do you see them as difficult/antisocial? How do you reconcile your need for togetherness/chatting with their need for peace?

Offer to wash the dishes. I have a relation who likes to come over and mow the lawn. I like to offer to walk the dog.

I have chosen to be the cook and dishwasher to avoid my family. Did it starting as a teenager - everyone thought I was so helpful when I was really trying to avoid them.

OP, if you see introverts as difficult or antisocial, you don't quite understand what introverts are. Maybe you're in-laws are just that: difficult and antisocial.

Anonymous wrote:If your family is the we-do-everything-together on vacation type who likes to talk a lot, what are your perceptions of introvert ILs? Do you understand that some people need quiet/alone time, or do you see them as difficult/antisocial? How do you reconcile your need for togetherness/chatting with their need for peace?

Offer to wash the dishes. I have a relation who likes to come over and mow the lawn. I like to offer to walk the dog.

I'm the introvert DIL/SIL and it's worked out fine. In a family of chatterboxes not everyone can get their words in. I'm generally easy going and will go along with their activities as long as I get a break once in a while. Sometimes when I get tired of their conversation topics (politics, religion, gossip) I go and play with the kids or do dishes. You can't go wrong with these escapes. They think I'm really sweet.

If your family is the we-do-everything-together on vacation type who likes to talk a lot, what are your perceptions of introvert ILs? Do you understand that some people need quiet/alone time, or do you see them as difficult/antisocial? How do you reconcile your need for togetherness/chatting with their need for peace?