Anonymous
Post 01/17/2017 11:05     Subject: Sexless marriage --> sexy marriage ?
well, I never cheated (was approached by women a handful of times) and I finally couldn't take the lack of intimacy anymore so I gave her the choice - she chose divorce. I'm now very happily partnered up and having so much more sex in the last 2 years than my previous 10 year marriage.

ExW seems to be doing fine, still single according to friends.
Anonymous
Post 01/17/2017 09:42     Subject: Re:Sexless marriage --> sexy marriage ?
Anonymous wrote:My experience almost identical to PP above. About 7 years, not totally sexless, but month long droughts, averaging 2x a month and she was never into it. Like above, ditching hormonal BC helped, as did youngest hitting kindergarten.

I can't describe the horrific effect it had on our marriage. We unraveled. I would have been one of those "sex isn't everything" posters, until it happened to me. I really stopped caring what she thought. But for our kids, I would have left. If you would have asked DW through all of this, she would have told you we had a good marriage. Delusional. She thinks no one really has sex with small kids. Reading these boards, I think she may be half right. No wonder so many men cheat during these years.

Affairs x2. Never caught. They kept me from walking out in total anger.

Doing better now. Probably a combo of her drive coming up, mine coming down. I would be happy with 3-4x a week, her 2x a month, we settle on about 1x a week. It's workable.


I feel you. We have the one and she wanted another. I said no. With basically no sex now why would I?

Had one AP.
Anonymous
Post 01/16/2017 21:38     Subject: Sexless marriage --> sexy marriage ?
So much porn.

I can't imagine what a sexless marriage must have been like before the Internet. More booze, I suppose.
Anonymous
Post 01/16/2017 21:22     Subject: Re:Sexless marriage --> sexy marriage ?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Four years of a sexless marriage and finally took an AP. And I'm over the moon.
Feeling like a sexual being again has been very empowering and liberating.


How did you meet AP?


Through work when I travel. We are both married and don't want to blow up our families, just want to feel alive and sexual again.


I'm the PP who wants to have sex with her physical therapist. I'm jealous that you get to travel through work and have that escape. My job is the least sexy ever and I only ever come into contact with middle aged women. Maybe it's for the best, though. Better to not be tempted.
Anonymous
Post 01/16/2017 21:13     Subject: Re:Sexless marriage --> sexy marriage ?
Anonymous wrote:Four years of a sexless marriage and finally took an AP. And I'm over the moon.
Feeling like a sexual being again has been very empowering and liberating.


Are you man or woman?
Anonymous
Post 01/16/2017 21:02     Subject: Re:Sexless marriage --> sexy marriage ?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Four years of a sexless marriage and finally took an AP. And I'm over the moon.
Feeling like a sexual being again has been very empowering and liberating.


How did you meet AP?


Through work when I travel. We are both married and don't want to blow up our families, just want to feel alive and sexual again.
Anonymous
Post 01/16/2017 20:53     Subject: Re:Sexless marriage --> sexy marriage ?
Anonymous wrote:Four years of a sexless marriage and finally took an AP. And I'm over the moon.
Feeling like a sexual being again has been very empowering and liberating.


How did you meet AP?
Anonymous
Post 01/16/2017 20:33     Subject: Re:Sexless marriage --> sexy marriage ?
My experience almost identical to PP above. About 7 years, not totally sexless, but month long droughts, averaging 2x a month and she was never into it. Like above, ditching hormonal BC helped, as did youngest hitting kindergarten.

I can't describe the horrific effect it had on our marriage. We unraveled. I would have been one of those "sex isn't everything" posters, until it happened to me. I really stopped caring what she thought. But for our kids, I would have left. If you would have asked DW through all of this, she would have told you we had a good marriage. Delusional. She thinks no one really has sex with small kids. Reading these boards, I think she may be half right. No wonder so many men cheat during these years.

Affairs x2. Never caught. They kept me from walking out in total anger.

Doing better now. Probably a combo of her drive coming up, mine coming down. I would be happy with 3-4x a week, her 2x a month, we settle on about 1x a week. It's workable.
Anonymous
Post 01/16/2017 20:16     Subject: Re:Sexless marriage --> sexy marriage ?
Four years of a sexless marriage and finally took an AP. And I'm over the moon.
Feeling like a sexual being again has been very empowering and liberating.
Anonymous
Post 01/16/2017 19:17     Subject: Re:Sexless marriage --> sexy marriage ?
Anonymous wrote:I don't know but I find it disturbing that I want to have sex with my physical therapist so badly but have zero desire to have sex with DH. I won't do it because I don't want to torpedo our lives. Not worth it in the end.


Probably not as disturbing as your DH would find it.
Anonymous
Post 01/16/2017 18:57     Subject: Re:Sexless marriage --> sexy marriage ?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don't know but I find it disturbing that I want to have sex with my physical therapist so badly but have zero desire to have sex with DH. I won't do it because I don't want to torpedo our lives. Not worth it in the end.




NP. Ugh, you suck, Mrs. Shocked Emoticon. Go suck DH off and make sure to say your prayers with additional rosaries to get past the shock.
Anonymous
Post 01/16/2017 18:54     Subject: Sexless marriage --> sexy marriage ?
Anonymous wrote:Men, women. Anybody who has been in a sexless marriage.

How long did he sexless last? Did you have an affair during the sexlessness? if no, how did that impact your spouse/marriage? How did you climb back out of sexless to sexy?



Getting a vasectomy and having her ditch the hormonal birth control helped a little.

Sexlessness was making me feel more disconnected -- like I was just a valuable contributor to my wife's home financing and child raising goals. Not saying it's all better, but the worst of it lasted for about 6 years -- after the birth of our second child when the IUD was put in until the second kid reached school age, and I concluded that (with the kid now in school full time) the stresses of taking care of kids couldn't be entirely to blame for the lack of sex.
Anonymous
Post 01/16/2017 18:43     Subject: Re:Sexless marriage --> sexy marriage ?
Anonymous wrote:I don't know but I find it disturbing that I want to have sex with my physical therapist so badly but have zero desire to have sex with DH. I won't do it because I don't want to torpedo our lives. Not worth it in the end.


Anonymous
Post 01/16/2017 17:59     Subject: Re:Sexless marriage --> sexy marriage ?
I don't know but I find it disturbing that I want to have sex with my physical therapist so badly but have zero desire to have sex with DH. I won't do it because I don't want to torpedo our lives. Not worth it in the end.
Anonymous
Post 01/16/2017 17:45     Subject: Sexless marriage --> sexy marriage ?
Men, women. Anybody who has been in a sexless marriage.

How long did he sexless last? Did you have an affair during the sexlessness? if no, how did that impact your spouse/marriage? How did you climb back out of sexless to sexy?