Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are keeping score about thank you cards, you've missed the point about gratitude.

Op here. It was more of a realization I had recently. The stress and anxiety I had over my thank yous for baby gifts was hard. I wanted to just run when people brought me a gift because I'd rather have no gift than write a thank you. I'm not anxious like that anymore but I have a stack to write for Christmas awaiting me.

Just stop, if it is causing you stress. If you have thanked the giver in person, over the phone, or over e-mail, that's enough. It is 2017, and we don't need Crane to help us thank someone anymore. Of course you had to write a note in the 1800s when gifts arrived via the Wells Fargo wagon, and mail was your only way of acknowledgment. But now, you and your baby can hop on Face Time and thank Grandma, and what could be better than that?

If you ENJOY writing notes, and it is a true exercise in gratitude, go for it. But if it stresses you out and causes you to resent gifts or (even worse) bean-count who does and who does not write notes anymore, then seriously...you need to stop.

Anonymous wrote:If you are keeping score about thank you cards, you've missed the point about gratitude.

Op here. It was more of a realization I had recently. The stress and anxiety I had over my thank yous for baby gifts was hard. I wanted to just run when people brought me a gift because I'd rather have no gift than write a thank you. I'm not anxious like that anymore but I have a stack to write for Christmas awaiting me.

My parents always made me write thank you notes when I was a kid... but as adults, my immediate family members rarely write them to each other... However, I did just receive a thank you card yesterday from my 90 year old grandmother. So I think it's not so much an "age" thing as it is a "how formal is your family" thing. I'm sure that everyone appreciates the ones you send, however, if they're not sending them, they likely wouldn't be offended if you stopped.

If you are keeping score about thank you cards, you've missed the point about gratitude.

Within the family, we do a thank you phone call, not a sent card.

Anonymous wrote:In our family we always write ty notes to everyone. It's polite.

+1 and it's nice to teach your kids to be grateful, no matter what the gift is

Received a thank you card from my mother last week for handling the purchase and delivery of her new car.

In terms of etiquette, they should send thank you cards. There's no age limit - the only reason I would think of for elderly people not having to write TY cards is an actual barrier, like arthritis or trouble getting to a mailbox.

But, if they don't send TY cards and it bothers you, stop writing to them. If you're concerned that a gift didn't reach them, call and ask.

My mom demands we write thank you notes but never writes them back. Its very annoying.

Anonymous wrote:In our family we always write ty notes to everyone. It's polite.

To clarify, your older relatives write you thank you notes?

My mom sent us a thank you note last week! Of course polite adults send each other thank you notes.

Keep writing, OP.

In our family we always write ty notes to everyone. It's polite.

If someone threw me a party, I'd write a note, regardless of age or relationship. The only thing I don't write them for is when Christmas gifts are exchanged.

I think thank you cards are too formal among close family members. Don't you talk in person and thank them?

I have always written thank you cards. I've noticed though that our parents, aunts/uncles, and grandparents do not EVER write us thank you cards. Not even when we've thrown anniversary parties for them or gifted them large things like dishwashers. Do thank you cards only go to people younger than yourself? Most of the time I have no clue if my grandparents got our gift or even liked it.

Is this a sign that they no longer want gifts? Should I stop sending them thank you cards too? (I had a baby last year and feel like I have thank you card PTSD. I wrote over 100 of those things and never want to receive a gift ever again if I can help it)