Anonymous wrote:I don't understand sharing inheritances. At all. My trust required a pre nup.

However, we also get annually gifted by my parents as part of their estate planning- $28k to both my husband and I every year. That money is absolutely shared- legally my parents gifted it to him . I like the arrangement.

We share everything. Why would I keep my inheritance separate?
Never occurred to me.
My DH shares his six figure bonus every year. Should I not share my six figure inheritance?

I don't understand sharing inheritances. At all. My trust required a pre nup.

However, we also get annually gifted by my parents as part of their estate planning- $28k to both my husband and I every year. That money is absolutely shared- legally my parents gifted it to him . I like the arrangement.

Anonymous wrote:Your friend wants to control the uncontrollable and unknowable.

Asking a potential DIL or SIL to sign a pre-nup would send any self respecting person running for the hills.

Asking a child's intended family by marriage to pony up money for a house, even if you're matching the amount is crass.

Well, legally speaking, it's not uncontrollable.

I thought assets brought to the marriage remain separate? If so, I would think the key is to gift your child the down payment money prior to the wedding. Then after the wedding, they buy the house with it. This way in the event of divorce, the child would still get their initial down payment back before any other proceeds are split.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your friends should just put the money into a very restricted trust for the child.

But that wouldn't be a house down payment.

Sure you could do this. The trust would end up on the deed. But putting this structure together wouldn't be too difficult.

Anonymous wrote:Your friends should just put the money into a very restricted trust for the child.

But that wouldn't be a house down payment.

Anonymous wrote:Your friend wants to control the uncontrollable and unknowable.

Asking a potential DIL or SIL to sign a pre-nup would send any self respecting person running for the hills.

Asking a child's intended family by marriage to pony up money for a house, even if you're matching the amount is crass.

+1

Your friends should just put the money into a very restricted trust for the child.

Your friend wants to control the uncontrollable and unknowable.

Asking a potential DIL or SIL to sign a pre-nup would send any self respecting person running for the hills.

Asking a child's intended family by marriage to pony up money for a house, even if you're matching the amount is crass.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had friends over this weekend. We were discussing how expensive housing was becoming in our city. Friend's husband said he can't imagine how our teen kids would be able to buy a home without parental help.
My friend said she is willing to help their kid with a down payment if the hypothetical future spouse signs a prenup or the house is in the parent's name or if the grooms family gifts them the same amount. I thought this was a horrible idea. She was worried money would be lost if they divorce. Seems tit for tat. As if she can demand money from his parents to equalize it.

I think when you give money like that, there is a risk. I would only gift what I am okay with losing if they divorce. When I gift it, it's not mine anymore anyway.

DH and I share everything, including inheritances. They do separate finances.

Not interested in discussing the legal aspects.

Dumb move bro.

Not at all, that's how we roll.

Anonymous wrote:We had friends over this weekend. We were discussing how expensive housing was becoming in our city. Friend's husband said he can't imagine how our teen kids would be able to buy a home without parental help.
My friend said she is willing to help their kid with a down payment if the hypothetical future spouse signs a prenup or the house is in the parent's name or if the grooms family gifts them the same amount. I thought this was a horrible idea. She was worried money would be lost if they divorce. Seems tit for tat. As if she can demand money from his parents to equalize it.

I think when you give money like that, there is a risk. I would only gift what I am okay with losing if they divorce. When I gift it, it's not mine anymore anyway.

DH and I share everything, including inheritances. They do separate finances.

Not interested in discussing the legal aspects.

Dumb move bro.

My parents gifted us $100k for the down payment on our house with no strings attached and no stipulations. I'm sure it's because they assume that we won't get divorced. If I had any doubts about my child's marriage, I might not gift them such a large sum, but when you make a gift, it is no longer yours so what happens afterwards is not your concern.

Anonymous wrote:No way I would allow my spouses parents to be on my house title.

I would have a big issue with them making me sign a prenup like that too. (And I'm the one who brought a house into my marriage!)

No way I would allow my spouses parents to be on my house title.

We had friends over this weekend. We were discussing how expensive housing was becoming in our city. Friend's husband said he can't imagine how our teen kids would be able to buy a home without parental help.
My friend said she is willing to help their kid with a down payment if the hypothetical future spouse signs a prenup or the house is in the parent's name or if the grooms family gifts them the same amount. I thought this was a horrible idea. She was worried money would be lost if they divorce. Seems tit for tat. As if she can demand money from his parents to equalize it.

I think when you give money like that, there is a risk. I would only gift what I am okay with losing if they divorce. When I gift it, it's not mine anymore anyway.

DH and I share everything, including inheritances. They do separate finances.

Not interested in discussing the legal aspects.