1. Ask the schools to which you're applying if your proposed approach is okay with them. It won't matter much what the teacher does if a school won't accept it.

2. Assuming it's okay, ask the teacher to put the recommendation in an envelope from the school (i.e., one with the school's return address printed on it), and mail it directly to the admission office. It's common practice for those writing recommendations to initial or sign over the seal of the envelope to show that it hasn't been tampered with. It would be unusual for a parent to deliver a recommendation letter for her own child.

3. The scenario you cite may not matter that much unless a parent actually re-writes a letter of recommendation, which is outright fraud. Yes, the parent might see what the teacher writes, and that's not kosher, but actually changing the teacher's rec is another kettle of possum entirely.

4. Parents who waive their rights to see recommendations (and you should!) but then steam open the letters raise concerns above the pay grade herein represented.

_____________________

Disclaimer: The anonymity here makes me uncomfortable; it's easy to be uninformed, personal, or simply mean-spirited if people don't identify themselves. For that reason, I have an account so you know whose words you're reading. I have more than 20 years' experience as a teacher and administrator in independent schools, and I hope I can be helpful to some folks. If you don't like something I've said, you're in good company — there's a long line of past students ahead of you. If you want to chat further, please feel free to contact me offline: peter <at> arcpd <dot> com

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How will the schools have any way of knowing that you didn't write the letters yourself, and then place them in the "sealed envelopes"?

I never, ever agree to give kids/parents envelopes containing my letters of rec. It is kind of putting the teacher on the spot because there is really no way of ensuring that you don't open and read the "sealed" envelopes before submission, in any case. Think about it.

Oh, this is a good point. I was thinking about what we did back in the day with recommendations, signing the back of the envelope. Maybe if I pre-stamp/address the envelopes, the teacher can seal it and put it in the mail? I'm just looking for a way to make it less work for the teacher, who has tons of paperwork on her plate already. I don't want to make it more complicated in my effort to make it LESS complicated! I appreciate this perspective. Thanks.

Actually it is not a good point and rather sinister and stupid, and the opinion of a teacher who clearly takes themselves a bit too serious. How will a school know if the teacher mailed the recommendation or you? How will a school know if it was you who actually did the on-line form for the teacher and submitted it?It is actually pretty simple -- all they would have to do is pull it up on their computer and step aside and let you do it. How do I know this? I have witnessed teachers tell parents to write whatever they want and the teacher just signs it and lets the parent mail it in. I have also know of a teacher who let parents log into her email and retrieve the link and fill out the recommendation form as they saw fit. The bottom line is a school will assume you are doing the honorable thing and are not going to spend the time wondering what trick you might have come up with to read or write a letter yourself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How will the schools have any way of knowing that you didn't write the letters yourself, and then place them in the "sealed envelopes"?

I never, ever agree to give kids/parents envelopes containing my letters of rec. It is kind of putting the teacher on the spot because there is really no way of ensuring that you don't open and read the "sealed" envelopes before submission, in any case. Think about it.

Oh, this is a good point. I was thinking about what we did back in the day with recommendations, signing the back of the envelope. Maybe if I pre-stamp/address the envelopes, the teacher can seal it and put it in the mail? I'm just looking for a way to make it less work for the teacher, who has tons of paperwork on her plate already. I don't want to make it more complicated in my effort to make it LESS complicated! I appreciate this perspective. Thanks.

Yes, this would be fine I teach high school, btw, and I am asked to do some transfer letters of rec each year. I have no problems doing the letters for the school's online system (if they have that), or with mailing the letter myself, in a "school" envelope.

Thank you so much! This is really helpful.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How will the schools have any way of knowing that you didn't write the letters yourself, and then place them in the "sealed envelopes"?

I never, ever agree to give kids/parents envelopes containing my letters of rec. It is kind of putting the teacher on the spot because there is really no way of ensuring that you don't open and read the "sealed" envelopes before submission, in any case. Think about it.

Oh, this is a good point. I was thinking about what we did back in the day with recommendations, signing the back of the envelope. Maybe if I pre-stamp/address the envelopes, the teacher can seal it and put it in the mail? I'm just looking for a way to make it less work for the teacher, who has tons of paperwork on her plate already. I don't want to make it more complicated in my effort to make it LESS complicated! I appreciate this perspective. Thanks.

Yes, this would be fine I teach high school, btw, and I am asked to do some transfer letters of rec each year. I have no problems doing the letters for the school's online system (if they have that), or with mailing the letter myself, in a "school" envelope.

And to add to my previous post, consider the fact that it looks better from the new school's point of view if the letter arrives independently, with no chance you have read/edited it. I know you are not high school, but consider the fact that when kids do the Common App for college, we encourage them to waive their rights to view letters of rec on Common App because university admin takes letters of rec less seriously when they know that the student didn't waive this right, and then worked with a teacher who knew that the kid would read the letter for the rest of the year. A teacher is always going to be more honest if they know that the family/student won't read the letter (this doesn't mean that the letter will be bad), and schools know this. If there is anything dodgy or borderline about your kid's app AND there is even a hint of a chance you wrote/tampered with the letter of rec, this won't be good.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How will the schools have any way of knowing that you didn't write the letters yourself, and then place them in the "sealed envelopes"?

I never, ever agree to give kids/parents envelopes containing my letters of rec. It is kind of putting the teacher on the spot because there is really no way of ensuring that you don't open and read the "sealed" envelopes before submission, in any case. Think about it.

Oh, this is a good point. I was thinking about what we did back in the day with recommendations, signing the back of the envelope. Maybe if I pre-stamp/address the envelopes, the teacher can seal it and put it in the mail? I'm just looking for a way to make it less work for the teacher, who has tons of paperwork on her plate already. I don't want to make it more complicated in my effort to make it LESS complicated! I appreciate this perspective. Thanks.

Yes, this would be fine I teach high school, btw, and I am asked to do some transfer letters of rec each year. I have no problems doing the letters for the school's online system (if they have that), or with mailing the letter myself, in a "school" envelope.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How will the schools have any way of knowing that you didn't write the letters yourself, and then place them in the "sealed envelopes"?

I never, ever agree to give kids/parents envelopes containing my letters of rec. It is kind of putting the teacher on the spot because there is really no way of ensuring that you don't open and read the "sealed" envelopes before submission, in any case. Think about it.

Oh, this is a good point. I was thinking about what we did back in the day with recommendations, signing the back of the envelope. Maybe if I pre-stamp/address the envelopes, the teacher can seal it and put it in the mail? I'm just looking for a way to make it less work for the teacher, who has tons of paperwork on her plate already. I don't want to make it more complicated in my effort to make it LESS complicated! I appreciate this perspective. Thanks.

OP again...now I'm thinking maybe I'll just ask the teacher what she would prefer. I should've thought of that before!

Anonymous wrote:How will the schools have any way of knowing that you didn't write the letters yourself, and then place them in the "sealed envelopes"?

I never, ever agree to give kids/parents envelopes containing my letters of rec. It is kind of putting the teacher on the spot because there is really no way of ensuring that you don't open and read the "sealed" envelopes before submission, in any case. Think about it.

Oh, this is a good point. I was thinking about what we did back in the day with recommendations, signing the back of the envelope. Maybe if I pre-stamp/address the envelopes, the teacher can seal it and put it in the mail? I'm just looking for a way to make it less work for the teacher, who has tons of paperwork on her plate already. I don't want to make it more complicated in my effort to make it LESS complicated! I appreciate this perspective. Thanks.

How will the schools have any way of knowing that you didn't write the letters yourself, and then place them in the "sealed envelopes"?

I never, ever agree to give kids/parents envelopes containing my letters of rec. It is kind of putting the teacher on the spot because there is really no way of ensuring that you don't open and read the "sealed" envelopes before submission, in any case. Think about it.

I'd love some input on whether my plan for this is ok. All three (primary) schools DC is applying to are listed as accepting the common recommendation form. However, one has a different form in Ravenna, another has the common form to be completed digitally in Ravenna, and the third provides the common form to download and print but doesn't use Ravenna. Is it ok to go the old-fashioned route and ask the teacher to complete a hard copy of the common form, make 2 copies, and put all three in sealed envelopes that I can give to the schools? I really don't feel comfortable asking an already-overworked teacher to do the recommendation 3 separate times if they all take the common form, especially since we are not coming from a school where independent school recommendations are considered par for the course.

Also, do I need to contact the school that supposedly takes the common form but has a different form in Ravenna to confirm that they do indeed take the common form?

Thanks in advance