Anonymous wrote:Full pay at a private. To avoid taking loans, I may need to stop my charitable donations (~$8k per year). I've rationalized this by telling myself that full pay at a private is subsidizing those on need-based financial aid...effectively a charitable donation (but not for tax purposes). Am I crazy?

Yes, you are crazy. Why do you need to rationalize paying college tuition?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Full pay at a private. To avoid taking loans, I may need to stop my charitable donations (~$8k per year). I've rationalized this by telling myself that full pay at a private is subsidizing those on need-based financial aid...effectively a charitable donation (but not for tax purposes). Am I crazy?

Yeah, you are. You're not subsidizing those on need-based financial aid -- people who give to the school are. The actual cost of educating your child is higher than what they're charging you. This is crazy, but it is true.

OP here. I agree that nobody is paying the "true" full price, but they aren't charging everybody the same price. My price is higher so that somebody else's price can be lower. That's a subsidy.

Although I understand what you're trying to say, that's not how it works. Others pay less than you because they are not in the same financial position so they are offered aid. Your tuition is not paying for that difference in cost. The people who donate above and beyond their tuition are the ones who are subsidizing that difference in cost. In fact, the people who are donating money above and beyond their tuition are also subsidizing you since those donations also go toward helping with the difference of what is actually costs to educate your child and keep the school running. This is not to make you feel bad because you should never feel bad about not being able to give more than you're able, but the facts are that you are not subsidizing anything by paying the full listed tuition.

You should also not feel bad about reducing your contributions to charities in order to pay for private school. Consider this a period of time that you will not donate financially and, if possible, contribute in others ways by volunteering or helping an organization to secure a grant, etc (their are plenty of ways to help organizations that are not monetary). I'm confident that once you are done paying for school tuitions you will start up the contributions again. This may be harsh, but trying to take credit for paying for others when that's not how it works is simply to validate your own feelings, but it's not based on fact.

That's not exactly true either for the top colleges/universities. when I was in college, tuition per child was around $30K... and I heard that the school was actually spending over $100K per student. So at that time, unless you were donating an extra $70K on top of the tuition you were paying, you would not have been subsidizing anyone else.

That would be the equivalent of arguing that because you paid the sucker price on the airline you are charitably supplementing all us thrifty shoppers. Um nooooo. You just got charged the sucker price and went ahead and bought the seat anyway.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Full pay at a private. To avoid taking loans, I may need to stop my charitable donations (~$8k per year). I've rationalized this by telling myself that full pay at a private is subsidizing those on need-based financial aid...effectively a charitable donation (but not for tax purposes). Am I crazy?

Yeah, you are. You're not subsidizing those on need-based financial aid -- people who give to the school are. The actual cost of educating your child is higher than what they're charging you. This is crazy, but it is true.

OP here. I agree that nobody is paying the "true" full price, but they aren't charging everybody the same price. My price is higher so that somebody else's price can be lower. That's a subsidy.

That's not actually true. Your price is your price (higher) because you can pay it, not because YOU are subsidizing someone else's education. None of your $$$ are going to educate another child, therefore, you are not subsidizing anyone.

I'm not even sure why it matters to you.

Well it's true but you just aren't getting credit for it. Think of it as you are indirectly giving a life changing experience to one kid. That's huge.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Full pay at a private. To avoid taking loans, I may need to stop my charitable donations (~$8k per year). I've rationalized this by telling myself that full pay at a private is subsidizing those on need-based financial aid...effectively a charitable donation (but not for tax purposes). Am I crazy?

Yeah, you are. You're not subsidizing those on need-based financial aid -- people who give to the school are. The actual cost of educating your child is higher than what they're charging you. This is crazy, but it is true.

OP here. I agree that nobody is paying the "true" full price, but they aren't charging everybody the same price. My price is higher so that somebody else's price can be lower. That's a subsidy.

Although I understand what you're trying to say, that's not how it works. Others pay less than you because they are not in the same financial position so they are offered aid. Your tuition is not paying for that difference in cost. The people who donate above and beyond their tuition are the ones who are subsidizing that difference in cost. In fact, the people who are donating money above and beyond their tuition are also subsidizing you since those donations also go toward helping with the difference of what is actually costs to educate your child and keep the school running. This is not to make you feel bad because you should never feel bad about not being able to give more than you're able, but the facts are that you are not subsidizing anything by paying the full listed tuition.

You should also not feel bad about reducing your contributions to charities in order to pay for private school. Consider this a period of time that you will not donate financially and, if possible, contribute in others ways by volunteering or helping an organization to secure a grant, etc (their are plenty of ways to help organizations that are not monetary). I'm confident that once you are done paying for school tuitions you will start up the contributions again. This may be harsh, but trying to take credit for paying for others when that's not how it works is simply to validate your own feelings, but it's not based on fact.

Dont feel bad. What you say is true. Schools count on having a portion of full pay students to find basic costs. Without that, not only would they not have adequate FA, they wouldn't meet operating expenses. Tuition doesn't cover more than a portion of the costs for running a school but obviously they couldnt run it without it.

Don't feel bad OP. You seem like a kind person. Once your kid graduates, you both will be able give back.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Full pay at a private. To avoid taking loans, I may need to stop my charitable donations (~$8k per year). I've rationalized this by telling myself that full pay at a private is subsidizing those on need-based financial aid...effectively a charitable donation (but not for tax purposes). Am I crazy?

Yeah, you are. You're not subsidizing those on need-based financial aid -- people who give to the school are. The actual cost of educating your child is higher than what they're charging you. This is crazy, but it is true.

OP here. I agree that nobody is paying the "true" full price, but they aren't charging everybody the same price. My price is higher so that somebody else's price can be lower. That's a subsidy.

You should not feel bad for not having left over money for donations. You did not put the sticker tag on college tuition. If you have to stop charitable contributions because your budget is at its maximum, then that is your reality. You can always volunteer your time if you don't have money to give.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Full pay at a private. To avoid taking loans, I may need to stop my charitable donations (~$8k per year). I've rationalized this by telling myself that full pay at a private is subsidizing those on need-based financial aid...effectively a charitable donation (but not for tax purposes). Am I crazy?

Yeah, you are. You're not subsidizing those on need-based financial aid -- people who give to the school are. The actual cost of educating your child is higher than what they're charging you. This is crazy, but it is true.

What costs so much? Bloated budgets?

Anonymous wrote:Full pay at a private. To avoid taking loans, I may need to stop my charitable donations (~$8k per year). I've rationalized this by telling myself that full pay at a private is subsidizing those on need-based financial aid...effectively a charitable donation (but not for tax purposes). Am I crazy?

Yeah, you are. You're not subsidizing those on need-based financial aid -- people who give to the school are. The actual cost of educating your child is higher than what they're charging you. This is crazy, but it is true.

Do you think someone who full pays (and in order to do so, will reduce their charitable contributions from $20k per year to $5k per year)should be considered as subsidizing YOU?

If you think so, then sure, think of it that way.

I don't think you are crazy. When I go to a museum that I have to pay for or a botanical garden or something, I tell myself the same thing -- I'm supporting the greater good.

I think the real question is whether you really value what is offered at that school to the level of $_______. If you do, and you don't think there is a less expensive way to get the same or similar results, then just do it and don't beat yourself up about it. You can still give to charities after your kid is out.

Full pay at a private. To avoid taking loans, I may need to stop my charitable donations (~$8k per year). I've rationalized this by telling myself that full pay at a private is subsidizing those on need-based financial aid...effectively a charitable donation (but not for tax purposes). Am I crazy?