My former boss was with her married boyfriend for about 20 years at last check. They were older, around 60, and she had never married and been V successful in her career. They'd meet up around the world for vacations and meet ups but lived in cities that were about a two hour plane ride apart. Totally glamorous and romantic if you didn't think about how he had kids and stuff.

Anonymous wrote:There sure are a lot of judgments going on here....honestly I know several affairs and the reason's behind them are numerous, some of which I personally don't think make the people involved monsters. Life is not black and white and the way in which you judge makes it seem as though it is. I hope none of you are ever faced with life circumstances that put you in vulnerable places.

Many many people end up in life circumstances and vulnerable places but they choose not to cheat. Stop justifying this reprehensible behavior.

My sister's ex SIL found out about her father's 24 year affair. No one else knew or suspected. He was a pharmaceutical salesman and had another home in another city with his girlfriend. The girlfriend knew he was married but didn't care. The family found out when my sister's SIL announced it at a family dinner.

When someone says the shit hit the fan, it does.

Anonymous wrote:You have to wonder about the mindset of a person who chooses to stay with a cheating spouse for years, decades. Smh! Unfortunately the kids at home are watching both parents pass on these dysfunctional type values to their kids. At the end of the day you have no one to blame but yourself when you CHOSE, you have free will, to spend the best of your years with a cheating spouse rather than walkway. You can use every excuse in the book but it doesn't matter because you are progressing in your relationship or on life. You don't get to go back for a redo.

You are assuming the spouse knows. If the spouse does not know you can't blame them.

There sure are a lot of judgments going on here....honestly I know several affairs and the reason's behind them are numerous, some of which I personally don't think make the people involved monsters. Life is not black and white and the way in which you judge makes it seem as though it is. I hope none of you are ever faced with life circumstances that put you in vulnerable places.

I know a couple who had an open affair for probably 20 years. His wife wouldn't divorce him and I'm not sure why he never left on his own. People were giving condolences to the other woman at his funeral. They really did love each other.

You have to wonder about the mindset of a person who chooses to stay with a cheating spouse for years, decades. Smh! Unfortunately the kids at home are watching both parents pass on these dysfunctional type values to their kids. At the end of the day you have no one to blame but yourself when you CHOSE, you have free will, to spend the best of your years with a cheating spouse rather than walkway. You can use every excuse in the book but it doesn't matter because you are progressing in your relationship or on life. You don't get to go back for a redo.

My sister...17 years. We grew up in a small Southern town, my dad was a judge, my mom a principal. They were decent people at heart but really cared about "our family image." She fell in love with a black basketball player from the next town over when she was 15 or so. She fought like her with my parents from 15 to 21. They were just so so against it. She couldn't pick him over them. She tried and then would be miserable and break up with him...cycle would repeat. One summer after college she just announced she was marrying the white lawyer from out town. My parents were SO SO happy and she was so happy to make them happy. HUGE wedding, two kids, great life. All these years later she still sees him quite often. No one knows but me and my brother suspects. She's a really great mom and wife too...she just can't forget him.

Personally I know 2-10 yr long affairs

Decades. There was someone on the DC Council who started an affair before he was engaged to his wife, continued the affair while engaged, continued the affair while married, continued the affair while running for office, continued the affair while in office, continued the affair out of office. Decades.

Katharine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy were together for 26 years until he died.

Katherine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy- 25 years. IRL- 15 years; it started before marriage and just didn't stop.

Weird Q. Does it matter if there are others out there with longer affairs? Does that make your friend any less sick?

FWIW, I'm assuming that because you are calling it an "affair" you know some details that mean that it is something either his wife doesn't know about or doesn't agree with. Because, if his wife knew and agreed, then it would maybe qualify as open marriage.

If it's an affair, sorry, but you should really reconsider what you would call anyone like this a friend. To have a long term affair is highly abusive and manipulative of both the wife and AP. I, personally, couldn't tolerate the lack of character that enables a person to do this, and I wouldn't want to be friends with them any more.

Camila Parker-Bowles and Princess Diana's skank of a husband. I believe that one was 15 years from marriage to divorce, longer if you count the actual relationship.

Or had.

I just found out a friend of mine had a 8 year affair with another woman. He's been married for 11. Kind of sick.