I'll have my dad write you a doctor's note if you need, because it seems like you're coming down with that stomach bug going around town. And it's bad. Real bad. Bed-rest is a must.

I think you're sick. Too bad you'll have to stay home.

feign a headache and opt out. Read a good book and enjoy some downtime.

How childish they are. DH needs to let them know their behavior will not be tolerated and either the entire family attends or no one attends if they are rude to you. Don't give them what they want. They want you to stay home.

Anonymous wrote:Literally there is no backstory. I walk in, MIL corners me. Asks if we can switch our plans for Christmas around. I say "I'm not sure what DH has planned, I'll discuss it with him" and boom starts the behavior for over an hour so we weren't imagining it.

Sorry, I don't believe this.

Even if you are not aware of any backstory, there has to be one!

Somebody said something to them.

Your entire family needs to boycott their Christmas party then. Also, what are the plans for Christmas and what does she want you to do?

Literally there is no backstory. I walk in, MIL corners me. Asks if we can switch our plans for Christmas around. I say "I'm not sure what DH has planned, I'll discuss it with him" and boom starts the behavior for over an hour so we weren't imagining it.

Do not go. Backstory does not matter for the short term. Your sanity is more important.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:More context would help, but if they literally would not acknowledge your presence, then I think it's fair for you to opt out.

In your situation, I wouldn't demand anything, but I would appreciate my spouse having a backbone and standing up for our family. That's easier said than done for folks raised in emotionally abusive families though.

I would talk and they would act like they didn't hear me. My DH eventually got fed up and we left.

Oh, I'd be so mad if I were you or your spouse. I'm sure there's more back story as to why they're upset with you, but if they can't acknowledge you then you shouldn't go. If I were your spouse, I'd opt out of the party and take the nuclear family to go volunteer in a soup kitchen instead.

If it were me, I would ask whether it was important to the rest of my family for me to be there. If the answer is yes, then I'd suck it up and go and if not, then I wouldn't. In my situation, it is important for my family for me to go. Not only do they prefer me to be there, but I think its good for us that celebrations involve the whole family. My kids are at dating age and are at the point where they are choosing whether to do things with our family or beg off. I think because of the way we all do things together, they are bringing their dates into our traditions and celebrations.

What's the backstory, OP?
Out with it.

Anonymous wrote:More context would help, but if they literally would not acknowledge your presence, then I think it's fair for you to opt out.

In your situation, I wouldn't demand anything, but I would appreciate my spouse having a backbone and standing up for our family. That's easier said than done for folks raised in emotionally abusive families though.

I would talk and they would act like they didn't hear me. My DH eventually got fed up and we left.

Maybe they were just caught up in enjoying a small child around a Christmas tree. Did you speak to them and they literally ignored you? Or you just didn't feel as noticed/spoken to as much as you would have liked? Did your husband notice and say anything?

More context would help, but if they literally would not acknowledge your presence, then I think it's fair for you to opt out.

In your situation, I wouldn't demand anything, but I would appreciate my spouse having a backbone and standing up for our family. That's easier said than done for folks raised in emotionally abusive families though.

Not go to my in-laws Christmas party? Yesterday, I went with DD and DH to visit with them and they actually pretended I wasn't there. They got me Christmas presents but now I'm just not comfortable going. DH and DD would still go but is it rude if I don't go?