Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - thanks everyone for shedding light on some of the barriers and difficulties. I'm thinking children just may not be in the cards for us at all.

OP you realize there are SO many children that need homes right? From all over the world (our country included). Why not start with fostering locally?

+1. Not to be rude but it just sounds like you want to be en vogue adopting a child from a war torn country that's in the news and a hot political issue. There are thousands and thousands of children from drug abusing parents and dad situations right in your backyard. They need homes and love too.

Anonymous wrote:OP here - thanks everyone for shedding light on some of the barriers and difficulties. I'm thinking children just may not be in the cards for us at all.

I'm not sure why you would go from wanting to adopt from Syria to saying that children just may not be in the cards.
If you are considering adoption and willing to adopt an older child with a traumatic background, there are many children in the US and in other countries who need families.

Anonymous wrote:OP here - thanks everyone for shedding light on some of the barriers and difficulties. I'm thinking children just may not be in the cards for us at all.

OP you realize there are SO many children that need homes right? From all over the world (our country included). Why not start with fostering locally?

Anonymous wrote:OP here - thanks everyone for shedding light on some of the barriers and difficulties. I'm thinking children just may not be in the cards for us at all.

PP here. If you feel that you are capable of parenting a child from Syria, there are options available for you to consider, including foster care. It can be difficult to figure out your way to parenthood, but if it is something you feel called to, there are options besides having your own child.

From the Syrian Embassy Website:

Syria, as a Shari'ah law country, does not recognize or provide for adoptions of Muslim children. Several attempts by U.S. prospective adoptive parents have failed, although technically some provision was made for certain Christian denominations to adopt. Presidential Decree number 76 of September 26, 2010 nullified the previous personal status law and did not include any specific adoption provisions for non-Muslims. The Embassy's understanding is that until specific Decree 76-compliant previsions have been developed to address adoption for specific denominations, it is not possible to adopt in Syria.

https://damascus.usembassy.gov/service/adoption.html

In addition, before kids can be available for adoption, they have to be classified as orphans - meaning that no parents or relatives who can care for them exist. Designating children as orphans isn't something that will happen quickly.

OP here - thanks everyone for shedding light on some of the barriers and difficulties. I'm thinking children just may not be in the cards for us at all.

Since 1999, only 6 children have been adopted from Syria and this includes those that were adopted by relatives. 5 of the 6 were adopted in 2014. Three of those children were between the ages of 5 and 12 and 2 were over the age of 13. In order to adopt, likely you are going to have to travel to Syria and I can't imagine there is any responsible agency anywhere this is going to help you do this. Also, Syria is not a member of the Hague Convention.

Adopting a child who has suffered the loss of family/parents as well as their way of life and country to war isn't something to do instead of having a baby via donor egg. Raising an older child who had suffere through such trauma is a very difficult thing.

I know this poster got jumped on, but I would echo the sentiments. I adopted three times, two who suffered through trauma and, while I won't downplay their situations, it is nothing like the war these children experienced. My children are doing well, but it isn't anything like the child raising experiences of anyone I know. I don't really know where to suggest that you read up on it - maybe the special needs board postings about anxiety and PTSD might help. But, I'm also not sure that you need to do this now because I don't see this as any possibility for years to come.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Adopting a child who has suffered the loss of family/parents as well as their way of life and country to war isn't something to do instead of having a baby via donor egg. Raising an older child who had suffere through such trauma is a very difficult thing.

I truly hope you are speaking from experience and. It just spewing rhetoric. It depends on the child,las to the level of difficulty. It can range from the levels of difficulty as if you had birth the child yourself to having a child with RAD. I adopted an older child, and he hasn't been any more difficult he. Any other child. I know other families who have adopted older chilldren with few or mild difficulties. I also know families who have had a rough and horrific time raising their older adopted child. But then there are people who have their natural born difficult children.

I am speaking from experience.

Your situation is the outlier, not the norm. It's unrealistic and goes against common sense to believe that a child from a war-torn country or from any type of background that involved significant upheaval in their early life will not suffer from trauma and need significant support.

There are many Syrian and Syrian American families in the US and I truly believe for any child placed here in the US it would best serve the children if those families were considered first. Btw I adopted internationally so it's not that I think American families can't raise children from other cultures.

Also, from the article mentioned above "However, she said many families are deterred from adopting refugee children because they prefer babies or young kids."

The OP said she was considering this route instead of donor egg. To me this sounds like she would like to parent a child from birth on up so it's better if she pursues that option whether it is by donor egg or adoption or some other means.

Contact an agency but be prepared for disappointment. The Hague treaty has done great things for adoption but also closed the doors on many countries. It has been several years since I adopted but I don't think you can adopt without the country participating in Hague - and I doubt Syria does. Good luck - please update us on your research.

Anonymous wrote:Adopting a child who has suffered the loss of family/parents as well as their way of life and country to war isn't something to do instead of having a baby via donor egg. Raising an older child who had suffere through such trauma is a very difficult thing.

I truly hope you are speaking from experience and. It just spewing rhetoric. It depends on the child,las to the level of difficulty. It can range from the levels of difficulty as if you had birth the child yourself to having a child with RAD. I adopted an older child, and he hasn't been any more difficult he. Any other child. I know other families who have adopted older chilldren with few or mild difficulties. I also know families who have had a rough and horrific time raising their older adopted child. But then there are people who have their natural born difficult children.

I wish there was a clear path to doing this. My heart breaks watching them on news. Sadly, I worry in the president-elect's America there will be no way these refugees will be allowed in the country.

I am the adoptive parent of a child who was abandoned, and chose this route over IVF.

Adopting a child who has suffered the loss of family/parents as well as their way of life and country to war isn't something to do instead of having a baby via donor egg. Raising an older child who had suffere through such trauma is a very difficult thing.

Good read: http://www.arabamericannews.com/news/news/id_12276/Local-families-face-challenges-in-adopting-Syrian-refugee-orphans.html

Contact an adoption agency. I think that is where you start any adoption process,right?

I'm not sure if this is the right forum. I can't have children. I see these poor kids on the news who've lost their parents. Instead of using donor eggs to have a child, I'd rather give at least one of these kids a home. Where do I start?