There's no such thing as closure, OP. I'm married and if I start thinking about some of my relationships in my 20's (I'm 40) I could work myself up into a snit. But why? Move on. You are keeping yourself enmeshed with this man. That's why you keep doing this. Anger feels good because you don't have another strong emotion.

How did he end it with you? It sounds like you stayed in an sbusive relationship way too long and you need to unpack that first, with a therapist.

I know you really desire closure in order to move on from him, but in your case it doesn't look like that will happen anytime soon. Or ever.

Not everyone has the luxury of getting closure when they feel that they have gotten the short end of the stick in life.

What you need to do is find a way to move on w/out it.
The best way to deal w/this is by talking about it to someone else other than your ex.
Be it a therapist, clergyman or a close friend or family member, find someone who can give you the support you so desperately need at this time.

If you continue communicating w/your ex OP, I promise you that you will NEVER get over him.
You are stuck in a vicious cycle w/this person & you need to break away from him stat.
Cold turkey.

Otherwise you are creating your own misery which will not disapate until your communication w/this guy does.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's crazy because it doesn't matter now. He's not your boyfriend, he's your EX. What you held back, he doesn't give a shit about. So you're not doing anything to educate him on what he did wrong and you're not doing anything that will help salvage a relationship BECAUSE YOU ARE NO LONGER IN ONE. He owes you nothing. Not an apology. Not an explanation. NOT. ONE. THING. If he's responding, he's just playing you, and you're playing into it. You're allowing him to drive you even crazier than you already are. Your behavior is pathetic. Your attitude towards it is even more pathetic. And it makes sense now that he's your ex. Who'd want to be with someone like this? Get a grip, OP, and give yourself a reality check before a restraining order gives you one.

He does owe me an apology that's where you're wrong. The things he did to me and the way he ended it, he can't apologize enough

That's where you're wrong. If he's not sorry, he doesn't owe you an apology. You may think he does, but guess what, the reality is, HE DOESN'T. The sooner you realize that no one owes you kindness, love, recognition, empathy, apologies, or understanding, the less crazy you may wind up being. Nobody in this world owes you or anyone else anything.

Anonymous wrote:It's crazy because it doesn't matter now. He's not your boyfriend, he's your EX. What you held back, he doesn't give a shit about. So you're not doing anything to educate him on what he did wrong and you're not doing anything that will help salvage a relationship BECAUSE YOU ARE NO LONGER IN ONE. He owes you nothing. Not an apology. Not an explanation. NOT. ONE. THING. If he's responding, he's just playing you, and you're playing into it. You're allowing him to drive you even crazier than you already are. Your behavior is pathetic. Your attitude towards it is even more pathetic. And it makes sense now that he's your ex. Who'd want to be with someone like this? Get a grip, OP, and give yourself a reality check before a restraining order gives you one.

He does owe me an apology that's where you're wrong. The things he did to me and the way he ended it, he can't apologize enough

Did you get fat?

It's crazy because it doesn't matter now. He's not your boyfriend, he's your EX. What you held back, he doesn't give a shit about. So you're not doing anything to educate him on what he did wrong and you're not doing anything that will help salvage a relationship BECAUSE YOU ARE NO LONGER IN ONE. He owes you nothing. Not an apology. Not an explanation. NOT. ONE. THING. If he's responding, he's just playing you, and you're playing into it. You're allowing him to drive you even crazier than you already are. Your behavior is pathetic. Your attitude towards it is even more pathetic. And it makes sense now that he's your ex. Who'd want to be with someone like this? Get a grip, OP, and give yourself a reality check before a restraining order gives you one.

Honestly. I think I do it because I just want the communication. Any response is a response

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Then what advice do you want? You either block him or continue your insane behavior. Get a therapist.

I want some compassion and empathy. I know what I'm doing isn't good or normal but if anyone can relate I'd like to hear from them.

Compassion and empathy for batshit crazy behavior?! You won't find that here on DCUM or anywhere else. You're being the epitome of a psychotic ex. Grow up and block him. Soon enough, he'll block you, and you'll go even crazier so please seek therapy ASAP.

Why is it that crazy though? I'm finally telling him everything I held back during our relationship- years of being emotionally and mentally abused. He keeps entertaining it as well, he responds and usually calls.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Then what advice do you want? You either block him or continue your insane behavior. Get a therapist.

I want some compassion and empathy. I know what I'm doing isn't good or normal but if anyone can relate I'd like to hear from them.

Compassion and empathy for batshit crazy behavior?! You won't find that here on DCUM or anywhere else. You're being the epitome of a psychotic ex. Grow up and block him. Soon enough, he'll block you, and you'll go even crazier so please seek therapy ASAP.

Text it to yourself so you can get the anger out.
Change his name in phone to
Do Not Text!

Anonymous wrote:Then what advice do you want? You either block him or continue your insane behavior. Get a therapist.

+1 just stop op.

Anonymous wrote:Then what advice do you want? You either block him or continue your insane behavior. Get a therapist.

I want some compassion and empathy. I know what I'm doing isn't good or normal but if anyone can relate I'd like to hear from them.

Then what advice do you want? You either block him or continue your insane behavior. Get a therapist.

It starts off as angry texts insulting him and calling him out on the things he did to me. Then he tries to calm me down and says one or two nice things. Then it stops, I'm emotionally drained. Then then in another few weeks I lose self control and it starts again. He threatens to block me but I don't think he ever will.

I know everyone's going to tell me to block him but I'm not ready.