Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So quick backstory. My sister has been married to her husband for 10 years. They have two kids and from the beginning I knew he was not going to be a good fit. He was constantly attached to her, "protecting" her, but it was all because he was a controlling asshole. I could go on about situations throughout the years.. Well fast forward and my sister was feeling smothered by his insecurity and controlling.

And that's when we went off the deep end. For the past few months she's been dealing with conversations and text messages that go up and down like a roller coaster. One minute it's "please please please" the next it's telling his daughters my sister is an ugly bitch. It's gotten violent and he finally moved out. But it hasn't gotten better it's gotten worse. He quit his job and decided to move out of state because he "didn't have any money". Not really sure about that since he's not giving my sister money and has a decent job but okay...

So he moved and my sister finally felt like she could breathe. Well this past weekend a guy friend posted a photo of them at the gym and the crazy texts started flying. This time they were the most disturbing. Some included... "I'll hold a gun to your head while your being raped", "I'm going to kill myself in your bed". You get the gist.

I've been telling her for months she needs to get a protective order. I told her again yesterday and she said she was scared that if she did, it would set him off and he'd come to kill her.

We live in different states and she doesn't have any family around. She's dealing with this alone with her girls. I'm scared for her because I don't see him one day deciding it's okay that this is over.... I'm just so scared for her and want her to be safe.

Get a protective order take all that down to the court and she can have a temp PO in place in a few hours. If he sends another email or text or what ever , report it they can put out a bench warrant for him on the spot and even if in another state he will get picked up. When she has done all this, go get a gun and learn to use it. A PO is only a piece of paper and she at best can only give him a paper cut. PO is to see if he is smart enough to cut that crap out, the gun is to protect herself and children so she doesn't end up as a statistic

Do not agree with the suggestion to buy a gun. Bringing a gun into this house with children increases the likelihood that someone will be injured either accidentally or by the abuser. Get restraining order. Change locks. Move, if possible. Do not post any more pictures on social media of any kind. Get a lawyer. Do not get a gun.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So quick backstory. My sister has been married to her husband for 10 years. They have two kids and from the beginning I knew he was not going to be a good fit. He was constantly attached to her, "protecting" her, but it was all because he was a controlling asshole. I could go on about situations throughout the years.. Well fast forward and my sister was feeling smothered by his insecurity and controlling.

And that's when we went off the deep end. For the past few months she's been dealing with conversations and text messages that go up and down like a roller coaster. One minute it's "please please please" the next it's telling his daughters my sister is an ugly bitch. It's gotten violent and he finally moved out. But it hasn't gotten better it's gotten worse. He quit his job and decided to move out of state because he "didn't have any money". Not really sure about that since he's not giving my sister money and has a decent job but okay...

So he moved and my sister finally felt like she could breathe. Well this past weekend a guy friend posted a photo of them at the gym and the crazy texts started flying. This time they were the most disturbing. Some included... "I'll hold a gun to your head while your being raped", "I'm going to kill myself in your bed". You get the gist.

I've been telling her for months she needs to get a protective order. I told her again yesterday and she said she was scared that if she did, it would set him off and he'd come to kill her.

We live in different states and she doesn't have any family around. She's dealing with this alone with her girls. I'm scared for her because I don't see him one day deciding it's okay that this is over.... I'm just so scared for her and want her to be safe.

Get a protective order take all that down to the court and she can have a temp PO in place in a few hours. If he sends another email or text or what ever , report it they can put out a bench warrant for him on the spot and even if in another state he will get picked up. When she has done all this, go get a gun and learn to use it. A PO is only a piece of paper and she at best can only give him a paper cut. PO is to see if he is smart enough to cut that crap out, the gun is to protect herself and children so she doesn't end up as a statistic

Anonymous wrote:So quick backstory. My sister has been married to her husband for 10 years. They have two kids and from the beginning I knew he was not going to be a good fit. He was constantly attached to her, "protecting" her, but it was all because he was a controlling asshole. I could go on about situations throughout the years.. Well fast forward and my sister was feeling smothered by his insecurity and controlling.

And that's when we went off the deep end. For the past few months she's been dealing with conversations and text messages that go up and down like a roller coaster. One minute it's "please please please" the next it's telling his daughters my sister is an ugly bitch. It's gotten violent and he finally moved out. But it hasn't gotten better it's gotten worse. He quit his job and decided to move out of state because he "didn't have any money". Not really sure about that since he's not giving my sister money and has a decent job but okay...

So he moved and my sister finally felt like she could breathe. Well this past weekend a guy friend posted a photo of them at the gym and the crazy texts started flying. This time they were the most disturbing. Some included... "I'll hold a gun to your head while your being raped", "I'm going to kill myself in your bed". You get the gist.

I've been telling her for months she needs to get a protective order. I told her again yesterday and she said she was scared that if she did, it would set him off and he'd come to kill her.

We live in different states and she doesn't have any family around. She's dealing with this alone with her girls. I'm scared for her because I don't see him one day deciding it's okay that this is over.... I'm just so scared for her and want her to be safe.

Anonymous wrote:She also needs to let the kid's school now that he's not to have access to the kids. They need to be warned in case he shows up there.

Anonymous wrote:Do protective/restraining orders really do anything to prevent violence against the filer?

Anonymous wrote:The research shows that the most dangerous time is after women end the relationship. OP-can you research domestic violence resources in your sister's area? She really needs advice and counseling from an expert who can help her figure out her options, and make the safest possible exit plan if that is the path she chooses.