Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My fiancee is divorced and has a seven year old daughter. Although she has an income well below six figures - and lives in an excellent school district - she insists on splitting private school tuition with her ex. Unfortunately, she then has no money to contribute to retirement or do much else other than pay her rent and basic expenses.

What can I do to get her to realize that she needs to plan for her future? She has no assets and a fair amount of student loan debt as well.

1. I can't fault your fiancee for wanting the best for her daughter, especially following a divorce. (She ought, however, look at financial aid options--she may qualify). We live in an area with allegedly excellent public schools and have been sorely disappointed in the quality of education.

2. You express no concern whatsoever for your soon-to-be-stepdaughter's well-being.

3. You need to have a serious conversation with your fiancee about financial expectations, division of assets/income, etc. It certainly doesn't sound like you've done so.

4. In short, this is your collective problem, not just "her" problem. You're not treating it as such.

This is not a prestigious school - just expensive. The public schools in her area have an excellent reputation and she would be going to school with friends in her neighborhood as opposed to the long drive to the private school. If they go for private later, I think they get much more bang for the buck in middle/high school, where colleges would care about the brand name.

I care very much for the step-daughter's well-being - I just don't think my fiancee should sacrifice her retirement and financial future for this.

You're correct that we need to have a talk. What I was hoping to gain on this board is some opinions about how to open up that dialogue.

Nice. I pretty much agree with all of your points. Maybe you can get the fiancee to tour the local schools? See if any have programs the daughter would be interested in - a great soccer team, a strong debate school, next door to a riding school, whatever floats her boat.

OP, what public schools are you pushing her to consider?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My fiancee is divorced and has a seven year old daughter. Although she has an income well below six figures - and lives in an excellent school district - she insists on splitting private school tuition with her ex. Unfortunately, she then has no money to contribute to retirement or do much else other than pay her rent and basic expenses.

What can I do to get her to realize that she needs to plan for her future? She has no assets and a fair amount of student loan debt as well.

1. I can't fault your fiancee for wanting the best for her daughter, especially following a divorce. (She ought, however, look at financial aid options--she may qualify). We live in an area with allegedly excellent public schools and have been sorely disappointed in the quality of education.

2. You express no concern whatsoever for your soon-to-be-stepdaughter's well-being.

3. You need to have a serious conversation with your fiancee about financial expectations, division of assets/income, etc. It certainly doesn't sound like you've done so.

4. In short, this is your collective problem, not just "her" problem. You're not treating it as such.

This is not a prestigious school - just expensive. The public schools in her area have an excellent reputation and she would be going to school with friends in her neighborhood as opposed to the long drive to the private school. If they go for private later, I think they get much more bang for the buck in middle/high school, where colleges would care about the brand name.

I care very much for the step-daughter's well-being - I just don't think my fiancee should sacrifice her retirement and financial future for this.

You're correct that we need to have a talk. What I was hoping to gain on this board is some opinions about how to open up that dialogue.

Nice. I pretty much agree with all of your points. Maybe you can get the fiancee to tour the local schools? See if any have programs the daughter would be interested in - a great soccer team, a strong debate school, next door to a riding school, whatever floats her boat.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My fiancee is divorced and has a seven year old daughter. Although she has an income well below six figures - and lives in an excellent school district - she insists on splitting private school tuition with her ex. Unfortunately, she then has no money to contribute to retirement or do much else other than pay her rent and basic expenses.

What can I do to get her to realize that she needs to plan for her future? She has no assets and a fair amount of student loan debt as well.

1. I can't fault your fiancee for wanting the best for her daughter, especially following a divorce. (She ought, however, look at financial aid options--she may qualify). We live in an area with allegedly excellent public schools and have been sorely disappointed in the quality of education.

2. You express no concern whatsoever for your soon-to-be-stepdaughter's well-being.

3. You need to have a serious conversation with your fiancee about financial expectations, division of assets/income, etc. It certainly doesn't sound like you've done so.

4. In short, this is your collective problem, not just "her" problem. You're not treating it as such.

This is not a prestigious school - just expensive. The public schools in her area have an excellent reputation and she would be going to school with friends in her neighborhood as opposed to the long drive to the private school. If they go for private later, I think they get much more bang for the buck in middle/high school, where colleges would care about the brand name.

I care very much for the step-daughter's well-being - I just don't think my fiancee should sacrifice her retirement and financial future for this.

You're correct that we need to have a talk. What I was hoping to gain on this board is some opinions about how to open up that dialogue.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My fiancee is divorced and has a seven year old daughter. Although she has an income well below six figures - and lives in an excellent school district - she insists on splitting private school tuition with her ex. Unfortunately, she then has no money to contribute to retirement or do much else other than pay her rent and basic expenses.

What can I do to get her to realize that she needs to plan for her future? She has no assets and a fair amount of student loan debt as well.

1. I can't fault your fiancee for wanting the best for her daughter, especially following a divorce. (She ought, however, look at financial aid options--she may qualify). We live in an area with allegedly excellent public schools and have been sorely disappointed in the quality of education.

2. You express no concern whatsoever for your soon-to-be-stepdaughter's well-being.

3. You need to have a serious conversation with your fiancee about financial expectations, division of assets/income, etc. It certainly doesn't sound like you've done so.

4. In short, this is your collective problem, not just "her" problem. You're not treating it as such.

Anonymous wrote:My fiancee is divorced and has a seven year old daughter. Although she has an income well below six figures - and lives in an excellent school district - she insists on splitting private school tuition with her ex. Unfortunately, she then has no money to contribute to retirement or do much else other than pay her rent and basic expenses.

What can I do to get her to realize that she needs to plan for her future? She has no assets and a fair amount of student loan debt as well.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My fiancee is divorced and has a seven year old daughter. Although she has an income well below six figures - and lives in an excellent school district - she insists on splitting private school tuition with her ex. Unfortunately, she then has no money to contribute to retirement or do much else other than pay her rent and basic expenses.

What can I do to get her to realize that she needs to plan for her future? She has no assets and a fair amount of student loan debt as well.

Her plan is you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My fiancee is divorced and has a seven year old daughter. Although she has an income well below six figures - and lives in an excellent school district - she insists on splitting private school tuition with her ex. Unfortunately, she then has no money to contribute to retirement or do much else other than pay her rent and basic expenses.

What can I do to get her to realize that she needs to plan for her future? She has no assets and a fair amount of student loan debt as well.

If she didn't marry you - what was the plan she had? Just wing it?

Does she stand to increase her income in the coming years? How old will she be when child is out of private and college? Young enough to contribute a lot at that time?

Anonymous wrote:My fiancee is divorced and has a seven year old daughter. Although she has an income well below six figures - and lives in an excellent school district - she insists on splitting private school tuition with her ex. Unfortunately, she then has no money to contribute to retirement or do much else other than pay her rent and basic expenses.

What can I do to get her to realize that she needs to plan for her future? She has no assets and a fair amount of student loan debt as well.

Anonymous wrote:My fiancee is divorced and has a seven year old daughter. Although she has an income well below six figures - and lives in an excellent school district - she insists on splitting private school tuition with her ex. Unfortunately, she then has no money to contribute to retirement or do much else other than pay her rent and basic expenses.

What can I do to get her to realize that she needs to plan for her future? She has no assets and a fair amount of student loan debt as well.

Anonymous wrote:Don't marry her and combine assets.

Anonymous wrote:Don't marry her and combine assets.