1. Initiate yourself. It's not fair to put it all on him. You don't get to say you want more sex, but not do any of the work of getting it.


2.. Get therapy for yourself..It's clear you have some healing to do . Get therapy for yourself so you don't let scars from your ex dictate your life and so you don't ruin things in this relationship and other relationships by painting all men with the same brush as your ex.

Good luck.

I'm in a new relationship - about two months - with someone. He seems perfectly content to initiate things once or at most twice a week, while my drive is higher. He's also introverted and I'm extroverted. I don't know how to bring this up to him - to find out whether he really just isn't that interested or whether, as a friend put it, he just "has good manners" and is waiting for me to take the lead some of the time. He's in his late 20s so he shouldn't have peaked yet, but I guess it is possible he is more about the relationship and less about sex. I'm greedy - I want both! I've never dealt with this before. In my experience, if you are staying over, even two nights in a row, then there isn't an apparent ration on things. In fairness, I don't like to initiate overtly because I had an abusive ex who was quite cruel in rejecting me every chance he got then whining about our lack of a sex life, which of course justified his cheating and porn habit. He used to like to say things like "No one else would ever want [me]." So it's true I try to flirt and make clear I'm available rather than initiate. Help.