Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: If your friend is forgoing saving for retirement by paying his child's way, he should rethink that.

and maybe have some $$ so he could go on a few dates...

Maybe he prefers to pay tuition rather than grabbing p****. Some people have other priorities.

You don't know what that man does other than what you read here. What a bunch of pretentious know-it-alls!

It's not healthy for a parent to focus solely on their kid, especially after the kid leaves home. He'll need a hobby, friends and/or a romantic interest.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: If your friend is forgoing saving for retirement by paying his child's way, he should rethink that.

and maybe have some $$ so he could go on a few dates...

Maybe he prefers to pay tuition rather than grabbing p****. Some people have other priorities.

Anonymous wrote: If your friend is forgoing saving for retirement by paying his child's way, he should rethink that.

and maybe have some $$ so he could go on a few dates...

My DC is at a private SLAC with a $26k/year merit scholarship. This takes our annual bill for this year to about $36,000.

We do not qualify for need-based aid.

DC'S school is a solid, well-regarded college but not top-tier. Top-ranked schools do not award merit scholarships. Choosing a lower-ranked school is key to merit aid. Do those 14 schools all award merit aid?

DC was admitted to the UMDCP Honors program, which would have cost about $25,000/year, but for a variety of reasons chose the small private school instead. We can afford it, agree it is a better fit, and are happy to pay.

We have enough college savings to cover this debt-free and are not jeopardizing our retirement by choosing the more expensive option. If your friend is forgoing saving for retirement by paying his child's way, he should rethink that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He makes $125k a year and can pay $3k a month for private school?

OP here. I cannot begin to express my regret for asking for thoughts. You 'compute' on your lifestyle instead of maybe thinking about the small two-bedroom condo that's not in your palatial neighborhood, the old paid for car, and the tremendous sacrifice to educate his child the way he sees fit and how much the child enjoys the environment. The kid is brilliant and that is due to the tremendous sacrifices of his father.

I don't think I'll pass on a thing from this column.

NP here. It is great news that the child already has a $19k grant. I would bet that there are more acceptances with grants coming down the pipeline. It sounds like the father has a solid plan in place and is comfortable with his choices; he knows what he values and he is willing to do what he needs to see it come to fruition. Good luck to him and his child!

It's not that "she wants to go away", it's that he values a private education, otherwise she could out-of-state public for less. Many people don't value a private education but he clearly does - he's been providing it all along.

OP, so what was your point then in telling this sob story?
Yes, there are ways to reduce the financial strain on the parent, but they all involve some sort of compromise or extra work on the kid's part - agreeing to go to a lesser name or state school, applying to third-party scholarships, working part-time to cover some of the expenses, or taking out a small loan. The dad is used to living in the the sacrifice mode, but how much longer will he be able to sustain it? What if the kid will need help paying for grad school? PhD study?

Anonymous wrote:He makes $125k a year and can pay $3k a month for private school?

OP here. I cannot begin to express my regret for asking for thoughts. You 'compute' on your lifestyle instead of maybe thinking about the small two-bedroom condo that's not in your palatial neighborhood, the old paid for car, and the tremendous sacrifice to educate his child the way he sees fit and how much the child enjoys the environment. The kid is brilliant and that is due to the tremendous sacrifices of his father.

I don't think I'll pass on a thing from this column.

If you haven't interfered with him paying for private school, why are you stepping in now?

Anonymous wrote:He makes $125k a year and can pay $3k a month for private school?

Agree. Does not compute

He makes $125k a year and can pay $3k a month for private school?

Most of my friends have been able to send their kids to a private college and have received enough aid to get the cost down to what a state school around here costs. These are NOT high-end or selective private schools, FWIW.

The kid should be making up the difference with summer and part-time work, not the dad. And "wanting to go away" is a non-essential wish. A family with income of $125K needs to be more down-to-earth wrt college education.
I understand the parent's motives, but by underfunding his own retirement he is ultimately short-changing his kid.
It is true that safety (lower-tier) private colleges may give discounted tuition, but in today's financial climate these deals are getting more and more competitive and many schools are cutting aid. Also, unless the kid is a genius, lower-tier college might turn out really crappy and it would have been better to go to state school, especially if the family is in MD or VA.

I was dining out with a friend whose plan is to continue the same 10-month monthly payment plan at college that he has paid to his DC's private school for years. He says he's so use to the $3k monthly payment that he doesn't feel the pain anymore.

Though the $3k is a mild strain, the plan is to get an annual $10k Stafford loan and repay it over each summer with additional summer work. That will be easy because of the kind of work he does.

He says he is banking on at least one of the 14 schools DC has applied to that someone might give a $25k or close grant. That would leave him and his DC debt free when DC graduates. So far, one rolling admission has given $19k. He is a single parent but makes $125k (he told me after a couple of after dinner drinks) before taxes and mortgage.

I told him to send DC to the state school but DC wants to go away. I think the extra money should be invested for HIM though I understand he wants to make DC happy.

I do think he has a viable plan but there must be another way to take some of the strain off these $65k schools. Thoughts for my friend since I have no college kids?