OMG, I would take a minimum of 3 hrs for yourself every day (just as an example) Figure out how much time you need - every day - to be sane. Consider what time might be a little more convenient for everyone, but do it. You don't ask permission.

I thought a lot about this before we took a vacation with the in laws (whom I like). I told my husband, ahead of time, that I would be out-the-door every morning before 8am and would return before noon. It was up for discussion whether early morning or late afternoon was better - but it was happening.

My SIL does this when we visit. Doesn't bother me a bit. She gets a couple of hours to herself and we get to catch up with my brother. I know she enjoys our company. But as a mom with small kids, I know how nice it is to get out alone. I also understand how hard it is to host for a few days. Even if you like your inlaws, you need some alone time.

Uh, they aren't my parents. By day 3 I need to be away from them for a few hours or I will lose my mind. 2 full days (including hosting a full holiday meal for them!!) is plenty of time to spend with ILs.

Your DH probably just doesn't want to have to deal with them himself.

At least in our family, my ILs aren't here to see me, at all. They are first here to see my H, and a distant second, are here to see our kids. Several times they tried to dump the kids on me and cajole my H into taking just them somewhere so they can have him to themselves.

Anonymous wrote:I see no reason why you can't send you DH, his parents and the kids out Saturday morning for brunch and an outing while you do something else. Just tell them it is the perfect time for you to get some holiday shopping done.

+1000 That's a long weekend. Plus, like the PP said, lots of in-laws appreciate being able to bond with their adult child and grandchildren. Not rude at all.

I see no reason why you can't send you DH, his parents and the kids out Saturday morning for brunch and an outing while you do something else. Just tell them it is the perfect time for you to get some holiday shopping done.

Anonymous wrote:I'm not a big shopper, but I know it's pretty standard for people to do some holiday shopping Thanksgiving weekend. Most polite would be to invite MIL to come with you, but I think it's understandable not to.

If they were only visiting two days, it would be more rude to leave for that much time. Since it's a longer visit, encourage your husband to take charge of making memories with his parents and his kids.

This. You could probably get away with an hour or two solo but not all day.

I'm not a big shopper, but I know it's pretty standard for people to do some holiday shopping Thanksgiving weekend. Most polite would be to invite MIL to come with you, but I think it's understandable not to.

If they were only visiting two days, it would be more rude to leave for that much time. Since it's a longer visit, encourage your husband to take charge of making memories with his parents and his kids.

Anonymous wrote:My DIL does this--makes excuses to avoid us. It IS rude. Go to a museum! Make a memory!

I can't imagine why

Do you work full-time or will you be with them all the time for the rest of the days? If you are with them, showing them around and cooking for them ect for days, I think it's fair for you to have a few hours to yourself and they should understand. Maybe your DH can plan something really fun to do with them and pitch it as wanting to have time just with them.

You don't have to entertain people every second of every day. They're adults. They should be able to spend time with their own son and his kids or even by themselves while you get some downtime. Entertaining is exhausting and you should be able to take a break without anyone giving you grief for it. You get a break from your regular job, so why shouldn't get a break from the job of entertaining people for four days??

Anonymous wrote:My DIL does this--makes excuses to avoid us. It IS rude. Go to a museum! Make a memory!

I agree

- a DIL

Anonymous wrote:My DIL does this--makes excuses to avoid us. It IS rude. Go to a museum! Make a memory!

Or she is trying to give you space to enjoy your son and grandkids while she gets some holiday shopping done! Win-win!

My DIL does this--makes excuses to avoid us. It IS rude. Go to a museum! Make a memory!

Absolutely fine to go shopping!

ILs are visiting Wednesday through Sunday. I want to go shopping by myself all morning/early afternoon on Saturday, figuring DH and the kids can spend time with them. DH thinks they will be offended that I won't be with them the whole visit. Thoughts?