Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean? An attraction? Flirty friendship? Texts and emails exchanged?

OP here: She's starting to talk about a coworker every day. I know him - he's a tall, built, good looking guy. I noticed that they have quite a few texts going back and forth with lots of jokes about work and have lunch together multiple times a week. We have lunch together about once every two weeks. The texts haven't crossed the line but lots of jokes and rainbows, unicorns, funny memes that I sent her, etc.

We have a good marriage if not always exciting.

Tell her you are uncomfortable now before you hold it all in and build a wall of tension.

Yes, tell her you are a little uncomfortable. But under no circumstances should you accuse her of anything.

--Start working on your emotional connection with her.
--DON'T start in the bedroom. Don't ignore it, but don't start there.
--Start on more weekly/bi-weekly dates (YOU organize the sitter! YOU do the legwork!).
--Make sure you talk with her about something other than children and work every day.
--Look her in the eyes with love and lust
--Plan a weekend getaway (again, YOU do the work! It doesn't have to be a surprise, but don't put the work on her. Get her input, you call the venue).
--Have you read the 5-love languages? Read it with her, or take the quiz online and send her the results and ask her to take the quiz, too. Do what it is she needs (NEEDS) to feel loved and special.
--Send her a flirty text. Give her a gift.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean? An attraction? Flirty friendship? Texts and emails exchanged?

OP here: She's starting to talk about a coworker every day. I know him - he's a tall, built, good looking guy. I noticed that they have quite a few texts going back and forth with lots of jokes about work and have lunch together multiple times a week. We have lunch together about once every two weeks. The texts haven't crossed the line but lots of jokes and rainbows, unicorns, funny memes that I sent her, etc.

We have a good marriage if not always exciting.

Make your marriage exciting. Flirting with a good looking guy is exciting, so you need to be more exciting than him.

OP here - a 15 year marriage with kids can't compete (excitement - wise) with flirting with a good looking new guy. I'm just going to be direct and make sure she's clear how I feel about her and what's at stake.

Anonymous wrote:Is this co- worker married?

It does seem as if something is developing but so far, nothing inappropriate. At least from what you've seen.

It's tough. You don't want to accuse her or start giving her reason to start concealing emails, etc. Do they correspond outside of normal work hours?

Yeah, he's married and my wife doesn't particularly care for his wife. They used to work together.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean? An attraction? Flirty friendship? Texts and emails exchanged?

OP here: She's starting to talk about a coworker every day. I know him - he's a tall, built, good looking guy. I noticed that they have quite a few texts going back and forth with lots of jokes about work and have lunch together multiple times a week. We have lunch together about once every two weeks. The texts haven't crossed the line but lots of jokes and rainbows, unicorns, funny memes that I sent her, etc.

We have a good marriage if not always exciting.

Tell her you are uncomfortable now before you hold it all in and build a wall of tension.

I think I will. The next time she mentions him I'm going ask why she's bringing him up everyday and if I should be concerned. I'll also remind her what's at risk - our marriage, our son's wellbeing, etc.

Is this co- worker married?

It does seem as if something is developing but so far, nothing inappropriate. At least from what you've seen.

It's tough. You don't want to accuse her or start giving her reason to start concealing emails, etc. Do they correspond outside of normal work hours?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean? An attraction? Flirty friendship? Texts and emails exchanged?

OP here: She's starting to talk about a coworker every day. I know him - he's a tall, built, good looking guy. I noticed that they have quite a few texts going back and forth with lots of jokes about work and have lunch together multiple times a week. We have lunch together about once every two weeks. The texts haven't crossed the line but lots of jokes and rainbows, unicorns, funny memes that I sent her, etc.

We have a good marriage if not always exciting.

Make your marriage exciting. Flirting with a good looking guy is exciting, so you need to be more exciting than him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean? An attraction? Flirty friendship? Texts and emails exchanged?

OP here: She's starting to talk about a coworker every day. I know him - he's a tall, built, good looking guy. I noticed that they have quite a few texts going back and forth with lots of jokes about work and have lunch together multiple times a week. We have lunch together about once every two weeks. The texts haven't crossed the line but lots of jokes and rainbows, unicorns, funny memes that I sent her, etc.

We have a good marriage if not always exciting.

Tell her you are uncomfortable now before you hold it all in and build a wall of tension.

Anonymous wrote:Ramp it up in the bedroom.

We have sex about 2x a week. Its good sex and I make sure she O's every time but its routine (same 3 positions). She doesn't seem interested in branching out and trying new things so I do my best to keep it exciting. I'm fit, reasonably good looking and a good dresser.

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean? An attraction? Flirty friendship? Texts and emails exchanged?

OP here: She's starting to talk about a coworker every day. I know him - he's a tall, built, good looking guy. I noticed that they have quite a few texts going back and forth with lots of jokes about work and have lunch together multiple times a week. We have lunch together about once every two weeks. The texts haven't crossed the line but lots of jokes and rainbows, unicorns, funny memes that I sent her, etc.

We have a good marriage if not always exciting.

1) depends upon the gender
2) depends upon your spouse
3) depends upon you

Why do you think he/she is on the cusp of an emotional affair? Tell us more.

Ramp it up in the bedroom.

Date nights, plan a great vacation with just the two of us, start reconnecting with what we enjoy doing together (we like to dance), planning meals he'd like

What is your dh's love language? How did you make him happy before?

What do you mean? An attraction? Flirty friendship? Texts and emails exchanged?

I wish I'd gone to joint and individual counseling then, rather than after it all happened and came out.

of an emotional affair, what should you do to stop it?