Anonymous
Post 11/11/2016 18:33     Subject: Re:Gay families in Virginia
Thanks for the feedback. Great news, my partner just got offered a job in Arlington, so I'm pushing to move closer to DC, if not in DC
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2016 23:47     Subject: Re:Gay families in Virginia
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here. To be honest, I love the homes in Lorton. OH, & by the way, we are AA. I guess I'm looking for a needle in a haystack
I am not gay, but I am black, I grew up in northern Va and I'd worry about that also. It was a long time ago, but I clearly remember being taught that the civil war was about states rights and that slaves were obviously better off under slavery - the proof was that they didn't move after slavery ended. I just didn't know enough to question these things. Also routinely saw confederate flags, even Jefferson Davis highway bugs me. I remember the first time I was called a nigger. A lot of time has passed, but I just wouldn't want to live there.


was this the 60s?
Sadly, no. I'm sure that a lot of this has changed (although even here, discussions about the civil war will have people saying that it wasn't about slavery - I always think that they must have grown up in VA). I just remembered something else that bugs me as an adult but I didn't question as a kid. I was (and am) a total nerd, pretty geeky, always did great in school and on standardized tests. Schools track kids pretty early. In my school you had to be invited to take the GATE test by a teacher. I am assuming your parents could refer you also, but mine had no clue how to navigate that system; they probably knew nothing about it. You got invited (or not) to take the test in 2nd grade and then that was your track. I wasn't invited. I had a sixth grade teacher that took an interest in me and she made the test happen, so I finally got in. As a high school student I was usually the only black kid in the honors classes, with the exception of one biracial girl. I would estimate the school was at least 25% black, so why not more black kids in those classes? In the end I've turned out fine. Ended up going to Ivy League college and I am in the first generation in my family to go to college. I'm sure a lot has changed (look at the election results, for example) but the whole idea of living in VA leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I do remember the first time I was called that word. Some kids in my neighborhood were taunting me with a song: jingle bells, that n***** smells, jingle all the way...


Where in NoVa was this?
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2016 23:37     Subject: Re:Gay families in Virginia
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here. To be honest, I love the homes in Lorton. OH, & by the way, we are AA. I guess I'm looking for a needle in a haystack
I am not gay, but I am black, I grew up in northern Va and I'd worry about that also. It was a long time ago, but I clearly remember being taught that the civil war was about states rights and that slaves were obviously better off under slavery - the proof was that they didn't move after slavery ended. I just didn't know enough to question these things. Also routinely saw confederate flags, even Jefferson Davis highway bugs me. I remember the first time I was called a nigger. A lot of time has passed, but I just wouldn't want to live there.


was this the 60s?
Sadly, no. I'm sure that a lot of this has changed (although even here, discussions about the civil war will have people saying that it wasn't about slavery - I always think that they must have grown up in VA). I just remembered something else that bugs me as an adult but I didn't question as a kid. I was (and am) a total nerd, pretty geeky, always did great in school and on standardized tests. Schools track kids pretty early. In my school you had to be invited to take the GATE test by a teacher. I am assuming your parents could refer you also, but mine had no clue how to navigate that system; they probably knew nothing about it. You got invited (or not) to take the test in 2nd grade and then that was your track. I wasn't invited. I had a sixth grade teacher that took an interest in me and she made the test happen, so I finally got in. As a high school student I was usually the only black kid in the honors classes, with the exception of one biracial girl. I would estimate the school was at least 25% black, so why not more black kids in those classes? In the end I've turned out fine. Ended up going to Ivy League college and I am in the first generation in my family to go to college. I'm sure a lot has changed (look at the election results, for example) but the whole idea of living in VA leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I do remember the first time I was called that word. Some kids in my neighborhood were taunting me with a song: jingle bells, that n***** smells, jingle all the way...
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2016 23:15     Subject: Re:Gay families in Virginia
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here. To be honest, I love the homes in Lorton. OH, & by the way, we are AA. I guess I'm looking for a needle in a haystack
I am not gay, but I am black, I grew up in northern Va and I'd worry about that also. It was a long time ago, but I clearly remember being taught that the civil war was about states rights and that slaves were obviously better off under slavery - the proof was that they didn't move after slavery ended. I just didn't know enough to question these things. Also routinely saw confederate flags, even Jefferson Davis highway bugs me. I remember the first time I was called a nigger. A lot of time has passed, but I just wouldn't want to live there.


was this the 60s?


Yes, when was this? I'm not doubting you but I grew up in NoVa in the 80s and 90s and remember nothing like this (other than Jefferson Davis highway, which I agree is awful). In fact I remember moving to a city in southern Virginia for college in the late 90s and seeing a sign in a public building about "Lee-Jackson-King" day, and thinking "what the hell is that?" because in my NoVa public schools we just learned about Martin Luther King Jr day, not the offensive combo the rest of the state adopted.
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2016 23:00     Subject: Re:Gay families in Virginia
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here. To be honest, I love the homes in Lorton. OH, & by the way, we are AA. I guess I'm looking for a needle in a haystack
I am not gay, but I am black, I grew up in northern Va and I'd worry about that also. It was a long time ago, but I clearly remember being taught that the civil war was about states rights and that slaves were obviously better off under slavery - the proof was that they didn't move after slavery ended. I just didn't know enough to question these things. Also routinely saw confederate flags, even Jefferson Davis highway bugs me. I remember the first time I was called a nigger. A lot of time has passed, but I just wouldn't want to live there.


was this the 60s?
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2016 22:59     Subject: Re:Gay families in Virginia
Anonymous wrote:OP here. To be honest, I love the homes in Lorton. OH, & by the way, we are AA. I guess I'm looking for a needle in a haystack
I am not gay, but I am black, I grew up in northern Va and I'd worry about that also. It was a long time ago, but I clearly remember being taught that the civil war was about states rights and that slaves were obviously better off under slavery - the proof was that they didn't move after slavery ended. I just didn't know enough to question these things. Also routinely saw confederate flags, even Jefferson Davis highway bugs me. I remember the first time I was called a nigger. A lot of time has passed, but I just wouldn't want to live there.
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2016 22:32     Subject: Gay families in Virginia
We are gay in VA and live in Falls Church. It's no big deal here.
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2016 21:56     Subject: Re:Gay families in Virginia
Anonymous wrote:OP here. To be honest, I love the homes in Lorton. OH, & by the way, we are AA. I guess I'm looking for a needle in a haystack


Lorton isn't too far. I don't think you'd have any big issues. There may be some conservative military families, but Lorton is still close enough in that I don't think you guys should have any problems.

Northern Virginia is very different than the rest of Virginia - and I've lived in the state for almost my entire life. There isn't going to be any attitude difference concerning gay families in Northern VA, vs MD, or DC - people are overwhelmingly progressive and tolerant.

You might encounter a little more conservatism in Lorton vs. Alexandria or Arlington, but I don't think it's a considerable attitude shift.

Anonymous
Post 11/10/2016 21:53     Subject: Gay families in Virginia
Arlington is very liberal.
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2016 21:52     Subject: Re:Gay families in Virginia
Is MD an option? Far more liberal.
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2016 21:35     Subject: Re:Gay families in Virginia
OP here. To be honest, I love the homes in Lorton. OH, & by the way, we are AA. I guess I'm looking for a needle in a haystack
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2016 21:30     Subject: Re:Gay families in Virginia
The closer to DC the better, this goes for MD too.
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2016 21:26     Subject: Gay families in Virginia
Virginia is a big place. Arlington and Alexandria are more diverse than other parts of Virginia, but the further out you go, the more homogenous things are.

Where will you be working? In general, I'd say try to stay inside the beltway if possible.
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2016 21:26     Subject: Gay families in Virginia
Not part of a Gay family, but whereabouts in Virginia? Northern VA and close to DC, you really shouldn't have any problems. There are isolated bigots everywhere, but for the most part, Northern VA is very socially liberal, and it's not uncommon to have openly gay families in your neighborhood and schools, and people are completely accepting (for the most part).

Rural VA? That's another story.
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2016 21:23     Subject: Gay families in Virginia
We are about to move to Virginia, & I honestly am concerned about the environment and the schools, only because I don't know Virginia. What areas are LGBT friendly? What school districts would you recommend? I posted in the school section, but didn't really get a response.

Are there any Gay VA families on here? I would love some insight.

Thanks