Anonymous
Post 10/31/2016 19:31     Subject: Is it fair to expect sex to be part of a marriage or other long term relationship?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would say no, not when it becomes a kind of demand. Crucial to understanding consent is understanding that people's sexual urges may be different from yours- and if they don't want to have sex, you cannot try to coerce them into it.

I would say if you are in a relationship for the sole purpose of sex, or with that being a large part of it, then perhaps you need to rethink things.

Where are you getting coercion from? OP further clears things up in their second post. You can reasonably expect it to be colder in December than in June.


Whats the reaction going to be if it's colder in June?

So long as theres no bad reaction if/when that occurs- then sure, knock yourself out, I guess.

Any attempt to convince someone to "make it snow" in December rather than June (keeping with this inane metaphor) can in fact be classed as coercion. No bueno.


OP here.
Except I stated that force or coercion isn't what I'm asking, so your little tangent is off the mark, pp.

+1
There's always gotta be one...
Anonymous
Post 10/31/2016 19:30     Subject: Is it fair to expect sex to be part of a marriage or other long term relationship?
Anonymous wrote:I would say no, not when it becomes a kind of demand. Crucial to understanding consent is understanding that people's sexual urges may be different from yours- and if they don't want to have sex, you cannot try to coerce them into it.

I would say if you are in a relationship for the sole purpose of sex, or with that being a large part of it, then perhaps you need to rethink things.



Ok so if you are in a long-term relationship and your partner decides they don't want to have sex do you just accept that or do you try to solve the underlying cause.

Would you consider asking them to go to therapy coercion?
Anonymous
Post 10/31/2016 19:28     Subject: Is it fair to expect sex to be part of a marriage or other long term relationship?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would say no, not when it becomes a kind of demand. Crucial to understanding consent is understanding that people's sexual urges may be different from yours- and if they don't want to have sex, you cannot try to coerce them into it.

I would say if you are in a relationship for the sole purpose of sex, or with that being a large part of it, then perhaps you need to rethink things.

Where are you getting coercion from? OP further clears things up in their second post. You can reasonably expect it to be colder in December than in June.


Whats the reaction going to be if it's colder in June?

So long as theres no bad reaction if/when that occurs- then sure, knock yourself out, I guess.

Any attempt to convince someone to "make it snow" in December rather than June (keeping with this inane metaphor) can in fact be classed as coercion. No bueno.


OP here.
Except I stated that force or coercion isn't what I'm asking, so your little tangent is off the mark, pp.
Anonymous
Post 10/31/2016 19:24     Subject: Is it fair to expect sex to be part of a marriage or other long term relationship?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would say no, not when it becomes a kind of demand. Crucial to understanding consent is understanding that people's sexual urges may be different from yours- and if they don't want to have sex, you cannot try to coerce them into it.

I would say if you are in a relationship for the sole purpose of sex, or with that being a large part of it, then perhaps you need to rethink things.

Where are you getting coercion from? OP further clears things up in their second post. You can reasonably expect it to be colder in December than in June.


Whats the reaction going to be if it's colder in June?

So long as theres no bad reaction if/when that occurs- then sure, knock yourself out, I guess.

Any attempt to convince someone to "make it snow" in December rather than June (keeping with this inane metaphor) can in fact be classed as coercion. No bueno.
Anonymous
Post 10/31/2016 19:17     Subject: Is it fair to expect sex to be part of a marriage or other long term relationship?

I believe it's part of the definition (for me).
Anonymous
Post 10/31/2016 19:16     Subject: Is it fair to expect sex to be part of a marriage or other long term relationship?
Anonymous wrote:I would say no, not when it becomes a kind of demand. Crucial to understanding consent is understanding that people's sexual urges may be different from yours- and if they don't want to have sex, you cannot try to coerce them into it.

I would say if you are in a relationship for the sole purpose of sex, or with that being a large part of it, then perhaps you need to rethink things.

Where are you getting coercion from? OP further clears things up in their second post. You can reasonably expect it to be colder in December than in June.
Anonymous
Post 10/31/2016 19:12     Subject: Is it fair to expect sex to be part of a marriage or other long term relationship?
I would say no, not when it becomes a kind of demand. Crucial to understanding consent is understanding that people's sexual urges may be different from yours- and if they don't want to have sex, you cannot try to coerce them into it.

I would say if you are in a relationship for the sole purpose of sex, or with that being a large part of it, then perhaps you need to rethink things.
Anonymous
Post 10/31/2016 19:10     Subject: Is it fair to expect sex to be part of a marriage or other long term relationship?
You can't have real intimacy without sex. And your marriage won't last without regular sex. Unless of course both parties are asexual and simply want to cohabitate as friends.
Anonymous
Post 10/31/2016 19:09     Subject: Re:Is it fair to expect sex to be part of a marriage or other long term relationship?
Anonymous wrote:I'm a single woman in my 30s, I expect no, I REQUIRE sex in my relationship because I enjoy it. I'm dumping a guy with a low sex drive. I really think low libido people should be dating each other only because they understand each other's lack of intimacy and are content with that lifestyle.

+1
Agreed. They do everyone a disservice by pretending to enjoy sex more than they really do in the beginning (this is how they even get into relationships with people with a more typical or high libido). They should just be themselves; they may have fewer relarionship options, but they'll have better matches for them and save everyone a lot of grief.
Anonymous
Post 10/31/2016 19:07     Subject: Is it fair to expect sex to be part of a marriage or other long term relationship?
I believe that is between you and your partner, but I would say it's more commonly expected than is not.
Anonymous
Post 10/31/2016 19:06     Subject: Re:Is it fair to expect sex to be part of a marriage or other long term relationship?
I'm a single woman in my 30s, I expect no, I REQUIRE sex in my relationship because I enjoy it. I'm dumping a guy with a low sex drive. I really think low libido people should be dating each other only because they understand each other's lack of intimacy and are content with that lifestyle.
Anonymous
Post 10/31/2016 19:05     Subject: Is it fair to expect sex to be part of a marriage or other long term relationship?
Of course.
Anonymous
Post 10/31/2016 18:50     Subject: Is it fair to expect sex to be part of a marriage or other long term relationship?
Yes
Anonymous
Post 10/31/2016 18:49     Subject: Is it fair to expect sex to be part of a marriage or other long term relationship?
Should clarify that expect does not mean force, but expect in the same way you expect it to snow in New England during winter.
Anonymous
Post 10/31/2016 18:48     Subject: Is it fair to expect sex to be part of a marriage or other long term relationship?
For what it's worth I'm a single woman in my 30s.