Anonymous
Post 10/27/2016 23:24     Subject: Bipolar spouse
If you don't have kids, divorce. My spouse is bipolar, and it took us a while to find meds that work for him. I told him that it's his choice whether to take meds, but that if he ever decides to go off them, or doesn't take them correctly, I will have no choice but to leave. I would tell anyone the same: do not get involved with someone who is bipolar. It will slowly drain the life out of you.
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2016 16:46     Subject: Bipolar spouse
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I didn't know he was when we married. He has just deteriorated over the years. Now he is hardly recognizable as the man I married. He gets worse and worse as time goes on. I would have not married him had I known, but at that time he was not diagnosed, and the illness was not as bad as it is now. I worry that he won't be able to function on a daily basis eventually. When he cycles he can't function, except to be a nightmare to everyone in the house.


Still OP here...most days I am loathe to even go home at the end of the day, and all I do is think about 100 other places I would rather be.


It's time to consider separating from him, for at least a while. Your own health is suffering, and no one deserves that.

I divorced a mentally ill person who refused to help himself. It took me nearly 20 years, and he continued to decline. Please don't wait as long as I did.





Anonymous
Post 10/27/2016 16:15     Subject: Bipolar spouse
^ I haven't talked about this in awhile. I have trauma from the whole experience.
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2016 16:11     Subject: Bipolar spouse
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Don't get me going on this thread. It hits too close to home. The irony is how my ex-husband now sees the damage he has caused and wants to make amends and reconcile with us. He wants to apologize so he can can move on with his life. We are not ready for an apology. Twelve years: three major manic episodes, chronic depression. alcoholism, lying, cheating, abuse, unemployment.


Did he get medicated/ therapy, PP?


Medication - mode stabilizer and anti-depressants; did not take his meds properly; went off mood stabilizer to increase the high of the mania; did not sleep, which prolonged the mania; drank, which negates the meds

Therapy - physchiatist and psycho-therapist



^ mood
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2016 16:10     Subject: Bipolar spouse
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Don't get me going on this thread. It hits too close to home. The irony is how my ex-husband now sees the damage he has caused and wants to make amends and reconcile with us. He wants to apologize so he can can move on with his life. We are not ready for an apology. Twelve years: three major manic episodes, chronic depression. alcoholism, lying, cheating, abuse, unemployment.


Did he get medicated/ therapy, PP?


Medication - mode stabilizer and anti-depressants; did not take his meds properly; went off mood stabilizer to increase the high of the mania; did not sleep, which prolonged the mania; drank, which negates the meds

Therapy - physchiatist and psycho-therapist


Anonymous
Post 10/27/2016 16:04     Subject: Bipolar spouse
Anonymous wrote:I worry my spouse will be on dcum talking about me in a few years. I hate my illnessmom About once a month I think of driving into the Potomac. My illness is ruining my life. Tell your husband to talk to his psychiatrist about a change in meds.


That should be the least of your worries. Stay strong, PP.
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2016 16:04     Subject: Bipolar spouse

Tweak the meds?

Honestly, you should think about a separation, or an alternate lifestyle where you're not so intertwined. It's not a question of seeing someone else or not loving your spouse, it's that you only have one life and dammit, you deserve happiness too!
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2016 16:01     Subject: Bipolar spouse
I worry my spouse will be on dcum talking about me in a few years. I hate my illnessmom About once a month I think of driving into the Potomac. My illness is ruining my life. Tell your husband to talk to his psychiatrist about a change in meds.
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2016 16:00     Subject: Bipolar spouse
Anonymous wrote:I didn't know he was when we married. He has just deteriorated over the years. Now he is hardly recognizable as the man I married. He gets worse and worse as time goes on. I would have not married him had I known, but at that time he was not diagnosed, and the illness was not as bad as it is now. I worry that he won't be able to function on a daily basis eventually. When he cycles he can't function, except to be a nightmare to everyone in the house.


Still OP here...most days I am loathe to even go home at the end of the day, and all I do is think about 100 other places I would rather be.
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2016 15:55     Subject: Bipolar spouse
Anonymous wrote:Don't get me going on this thread. It hits too close to home. The irony is how my ex-husband now sees the damage he has caused and wants to make amends and reconcile with us. He wants to apologize so he can can move on with his life. We are not ready for an apology. Twelve years: three major manic episodes, chronic depression. alcoholism, lying, cheating, abuse, unemployment.


Did he get medicated/ therapy, PP?
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2016 15:48     Subject: Bipolar spouse
I didn't know he was when we married. He has just deteriorated over the years. Now he is hardly recognizable as the man I married. He gets worse and worse as time goes on. I would have not married him had I known, but at that time he was not diagnosed, and the illness was not as bad as it is now. I worry that he won't be able to function on a daily basis eventually. When he cycles he can't function, except to be a nightmare to everyone in the house.
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2016 15:45     Subject: Bipolar spouse
Don't get me going on this thread. It hits too close to home. The irony is how my ex-husband now sees the damage he has caused and wants to make amends and reconcile with us. He wants to apologize so he can can move on with his life. We are not ready for an apology. Twelve years: three major manic episodes, chronic depression. alcoholism, lying, cheating, abuse, unemployment.
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2016 15:31     Subject: Bipolar spouse
I used to see a spouse of a bipolar husband from time to time at my old job. She always looked exhausted. Deeply exhausted.

You sound like you're getting close to your breaking point. You could wait until you reach it fully... or look at exiting now while you still have a little bit of you left.

Hugs and I'm sorry you're going through this.
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2016 15:27     Subject: Bipolar spouse
There wasatgread recently about someone asking when they should tell a date about their bipolar. Basically everyone said that they wouldn't date/marry/be in a relationship with someone with bipolar (again). See if you can find it. You aren't alone.
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2016 15:21     Subject: Bipolar spouse
When he cycles it makes me feel like he has taken all my oxygen. When he suffers, he makes me suffer right along with him. After a decade of this I am feeling so worn out. Therapy doesn't help him, it doesn't help me either. Meds only make him "less bad." The roller coaster is exhausting. I'm starting to want out.