The women saying they feel the same way would be the same ones crying if their spouse said they'll never fully trust them. Or if they wouldn't trust them unless they could look through their phone. Ridiculous stupid women. And I am a woman myself.

New poster here. I am almost 31 and in a somewhat new relationship. In my last relationship, my ex ended up being a serial cheater, liar, and manipulator.
I truly don't think I'll ever fully trust again. The man I am dating now has given me zero reason to suspect anything but I'm already thinking about taking a glance at his phone.

Completely wrong, I know. I don't want to be like this.

OK, everyone has the potential to cheat. So what? What are you going to do about it, not have relationships with anyone? Sit there and torture yourself with suspicion that he might be cheating?

Anonymous wrote:Lifetime monogamy isn't a realistic expectation. So, no, I don't trust my spouse or any person I would date or marry to never cheat. I get what OP is saying.

For me, it's more about being realistic. If my spouse cheats, then what? Do I throw away my marriage over it?

No, you don't throw it away, but set up a lifetime monogamy poll and you'll be surprised how realistic it is for many people. Put me down for the first vote:
Monogamous to my spouse.

Anonymous wrote:OP here again. I have seen so many women get tricked by men and I will never ever be one of those.

Hey, good luck in that glass bubble there. You should listen to the Tony Robbins tapes or youtubes on this subject. Maybe you are wise, but please don't let wise interfere with happy, healthy, and well adjusted.

you have a daddy issue, op.

Lifetime monogamy isn't a realistic expectation. So, no, I don't trust my spouse or any person I would date or marry to never cheat. I get what OP is saying.

For me, it's more about being realistic. If my spouse cheats, then what? Do I throw away my marriage over it?

I will never completely trust a man either. Sadly, in my opinion and at least for me complete trust is a foolish mistake. There is not something wrong with me, I am not wired to cheat.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here again. I have seen so many women get tricked by men and I will never ever be one of those.

OP, if 10:35 is right, have Jeff modify the title. The title could be taking completely different as it stands now.

OP here. I was 1035 and my title was cut off. I will have Jeff modify.

Anonymous wrote:Op work on yourself. That's a very sad way to live your life . As someone who has had unsuccessful past dating experiences with men and currently in the dating market ( I'm very tough on men) not ALL MEN are cheaters. You have to work on your selection criteria and your priorities. If you consistently chose cheaters or dishonest men then it's probably you and your low expectations. Your husband is right.

Seriously? Wow.

I didn't consistently choose cheaters. In fact, the only guy who cheated on me was when I was 17.
I constantly hear stories about people who completely trusted their spouse and then were cheated on.

The only things my spouse did that I didn't like are:
1) an ex contacted him years ago to see if he was interested in catching up and discussing business. They are in the same industry. He told me about it and considered going. I was aghast. I still think about how inappropriate that was.

2) I met him and he was with his girlfriend, 21 years ago, he told me if he wasn't dating her he would ask me out. He never did anything further than that.

I don't know if these things play into it. But he has been an amazing husband and father.

Anonymous wrote:OP here again. I have seen so many women get tricked by men and I will never ever be one of those.

OP, if 10:35 is right, have Jeff modify the title. The title could be taking completely different as it stands now.

There is something wrong with you.

Op work on yourself. That's a very sad way to live your life . As someone who has had unsuccessful past dating experiences with men and currently in the dating market ( I'm very tough on men) not ALL MEN are cheaters. You have to work on your selection criteria and your priorities. If you consistently chose cheaters or dishonest men then it's probably you and your low expectations. Your husband is right.

OP here again. I have seen so many women get tricked by men and I will never ever be one of those.

Background: I have been married 18 years. DH had never given me a reason not to trust him.

BUT deep down, I will never competely trust any man. I know there is the potential for any man or woman to cheat. I think its incredibly naive to think that your spouse would never cheat.

I think I'm just smart. I am honest with my DH about the above, he thinks I'm flawed somehow and thinks some guy must have made me mistrust men, but that's not true.

Your thoughts on the subject?