Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They're adults. You helicopter parents need to back off. It's not your life.

There is a middle ground between "helicopter parent" and "completely hands off", you know.

+1

Changing majors can have implications on how long one stays in school since many courses might not transfer to the new major. So, yes, I'd expect a kid to tell me if they were now planning to spend five years in college instead of four.

I would hope that my child would share a significant change in her interests and plans for the future. I would also strongly prefer that she not go into the experience dead-set on one particular thing. I changed my major twice because once I got to college, I realized that I didn't want to be an art major and then later realized that I wanted to go to law school and not medical school (so psychology to poli sci). I can't imagine not sharing that sort of thing with my parents, but my parents were also incredibly supportive and didn't have any firm expectations about what my career would be.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, they had to discuss wanting to change majors with me before doing it.

When you are not paying, you are not in control.

We are paying, but do not want to be in control. We are paying because we earn the money, and because we don't want DC to have student debt. We believe it is our responsibility to pay for his education through his undergraduate degree.

Just because we pay our kids' way doesn't make us dictators. As they get older, especially, we view our role as "trusted consultant." Our DC mostly treats us this way, because we don't exert control over him and his choices. He understands that college is an investment and that it is his responsibility to get an education and experience so as to enable him to be self-supporting after he gets his degree.

Anonymous wrote:They're adults. You helicopter parents need to back off. It's not your life.

There is a middle ground between "helicopter parent" and "completely hands off", you know.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Or can they pursue whatever major they want? I heard a story of a pre-med kid changing to the far easier and less marketable gender studies ... the parents didn't know until junior year when the daughter informed them she was not preparing for MCAT or medical school. Yikes.

Gender studies is the new bullshit major.

Not that new. It was around when I graduated, and I just went to my 25th reunion.

Newer than most. "Queer" studies might be more recent.

Anonymous wrote:They're adults. You helicopter parents need to back off. It's not your life.

Wrong. My 17 was NOT an adult. Not legally. But more importantly, not maturity wise. And again, if they are adults, why am *I* paying? Real adults pay for themselves.

They're adults. You helicopter parents need to back off. It's not your life.

I'd be pretty upset if my kid didn't talk to me about something so important, but I'd likely let my kid change their major once they'd discussed it with me and I felt they had a solid plan for themselves. It's only partly about the money -- the rest is just about guiding them to make sensible choices and think through the longer term implications.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Or can they pursue whatever major they want? I heard a story of a pre-med kid changing to the far easier and less marketable gender studies ... the parents didn't know until junior year when the daughter informed them she was not preparing for MCAT or medical school. Yikes.

Gender studies is the new bullshit major.

Not that new. It was around when I graduated, and I just went to my 25th reunion.

Anonymous wrote:Or can they pursue whatever major they want? I heard a story of a pre-med kid changing to the far easier and less marketable gender studies ... the parents didn't know until junior year when the daughter informed them she was not preparing for MCAT or medical school. Yikes.

Gender studies is the new bullshit major.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, they had to discuss wanting to change majors with me before doing it.

When you are not paying, you are not in control.

This. They sure as hell better tell us.

Yes, they had to discuss wanting to change majors with me before doing it.

When you are not paying, you are not in control.

They don't need my permission, but I'd expect that they'd share their schedule/grades with me and I'd notice they weren't taking classes consistent with the major. I'd also feel like a failure as a parent if my relationship with my kid was so bad that they didn't talk to me at all about big things going on in their life.

Or can they pursue whatever major they want? I heard a story of a pre-med kid changing to the far easier and less marketable gender studies ... the parents didn't know until junior year when the daughter informed them she was not preparing for MCAT or medical school. Yikes.