Boarding school was terrific for our daughter. She only went one year (sophomore) at her request. Her grades and attitude did a 180.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For parents whose children boarded out of state, and they were home infrequently, did that cause any problems? Did they give up any activities or instruments they were committed to? Or drop in grades? Or drop in ethics? Our child is considering away schools but we want to be sure the academic benefits do not come at a cost to rest of the person.

no, in fact the opposite happened. But choose the school wisely.

Ok, glad it went well for you. We are Considering Lawrenceville, Andover, Groton, St Paul, and possibly Exeter. Tough acceptance ratrs, otherwise we would cut the list in half. I hear other folks apply to a dozen instead of a half dozen, just to get one or two acceptances. But I think we know which one we like.

Anonymous wrote:For parents whose children boarded out of state, and they were home infrequently, did that cause any problems? Did they give up any activities or instruments they were committed to? Or drop in grades? Or drop in ethics? Our child is considering away schools but we want to be sure the academic benefits do not come at a cost to rest of the person.

no, in fact the opposite happened. But choose the school wisely.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Pp I agree that if people say no and don't explain, or say 'Enough said' when nothing was said, it is perhaps the dollars. Yes, I would miss them, but willing to give them a good opportunity.

PP here. I would absolutely consider it...if I could fund it.

OP here. Pp I agree that if people say no and don't explain, or say 'Enough said' when nothing was said, it is perhaps the dollars. Yes, I would miss them, but willing to give them a good opportunity.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For parents whose children boarded out of state, and they were home infrequently, did that cause any problems? Did they give up any activities or instruments they were committed to? Or drop in grades? Or drop in ethics? Our child is considering away schools but we want to be sure the academic benefits do not come at a cost to rest of the person.

I think you know the answer in your heart, op. Of course sending a kid off to another state at that age is like sending them off to college. Every friend I know that went to boarding school is not sending their child to boarding school. I think that speaks volumes.

I suspect its because of the staggering amount of tuition.

I went to a lauded NE boarding school and it was an incredible experience. But it was $15K in my era. No way I'm able to fund it for my kids now.

I went to a prestigious boarding school in NE and am not sending my kids to boarding school. They are going to local DC area private high schools. Enough said.

I know quite a few families who went to boarding school and ARE sending their kids to board when the time comes. They feel it was the opportunity of a lifetime. FWIW I don't know that I would allow boarding for my kids but I am not going to diss it because frankly I would have loved boarding school growing up. I just don't know if I could handle it as I would miss the kids just too much.

OP here. I am a former BS student myself, but in state. What I "know in my heart" is that I got a quality education and great opportunity. I do not have out of state BS experience to draw upon. In speaking with parents at college fairs, I hear it working. But the distance would be my concern because I could not afford to visit monthly.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For parents whose children boarded out of state, and they were home infrequently, did that cause any problems? Did they give up any activities or instruments they were committed to? Or drop in grades? Or drop in ethics? Our child is considering away schools but we want to be sure the academic benefits do not come at a cost to rest of the person.

I think you know the answer in your heart, op. Of course sending a kid off to another state at that age is like sending them off to college. Every friend I know that went to boarding school is not sending their child to boarding school. I think that speaks volumes.

What a silly way to introduce your comment. You have no kids at boarding school and have not gone yourself?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For parents whose children boarded out of state, and they were home infrequently, did that cause any problems? Did they give up any activities or instruments they were committed to? Or drop in grades? Or drop in ethics? Our child is considering away schools but we want to be sure the academic benefits do not come at a cost to rest of the person.

I think you know the answer in your heart, op. Of course sending a kid off to another state at that age is like sending them off to college. Every friend I know that went to boarding school is not sending their child to boarding school. I think that speaks volumes.

DH went to a prominent NE boarding school and we are considering it for our older DC, who is a bright, independent, self-starter. We would never consider it for our younger one, who is very bright but lacks focus and needs lots of prompting from us. DH always says that it must come from the kid. The happy kids at boarding school were there because they wanted to be. Those 5th generation kids sometimes struggled.

I know you're only asking for out of state boarders, OP, but for what it is worth, my daughter boards at a local high school during the week. In terms of change, the only changes we have seen are positive--more independence, confidence, better study habits, and more outgoing than before. She also benefits from being able to roll out of bed in the morning and go to class, and participate in sports and extracurriculars at night, all without losing an hour a day in the car. Who knows if she would have developed these traits as a day student at the same school or at any other non-boarding private; certainly possible. That said, I don't think I would have had it in me to let her go out of state to board and only see her occasionally. We see our daughter every Friday-Sunday, and a couple of times during the week (we live less than half an hour from the school) and that is tough enough; we also have the consolation that any student doing what they need to do in high school is generally very busy during the week (even if just studying in their room) and not generally hanging around a lot Monday-Thursdays. Every kid would no doubt handle an out of state boarding situation differently; I am not sure my daughter would have been ready for it, and as parents I know we would not have. That said, my daughter has friends at school who are from other states and countries and they seem to be well-adjusted and happy (but again, who really knows . . .).

Anonymous wrote:For parents whose children boarded out of state, and they were home infrequently, did that cause any problems? Did they give up any activities or instruments they were committed to? Or drop in grades? Or drop in ethics? Our child is considering away schools but we want to be sure the academic benefits do not come at a cost to rest of the person.

I think you know the answer in your heart, op. Of course sending a kid off to another state at that age is like sending them off to college. Every friend I know that went to boarding school is not sending their child to boarding school. I think that speaks volumes.

There is no answer to this....every kid is different

For parents whose children boarded out of state, and they were home infrequently, did that cause any problems? Did they give up any activities or instruments they were committed to? Or drop in grades? Or drop in ethics? Our child is considering away schools but we want to be sure the academic benefits do not come at a cost to rest of the person.