Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Holy sh*t! I hope not! I do everything but pick him up and burp him!
He goes out when he wants, has guy weekends, drinks after work, regular sex.
I really have to look at my behavior. I just thought it was odd...

How is his heavy drinking your fault? I don't follow.

Because someone said he was drinking because he was miserable. Untrue.

How would his misery be her fault? This doesn't track at all.

Alcoholics don't need a reason to drink. It's raining -- have a drink. The sky is blue -- have a drink.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Holy sh*t! I hope not! I do everything but pick him up and burp him!
He goes out when he wants, has guy weekends, drinks after work, regular sex.
I really have to look at my behavior. I just thought it was odd...

How is his heavy drinking your fault? I don't follow.

Because someone said he was drinking because he was miserable. Untrue.

I have had problems w/excessive drinking in the past and drinking vodka in regular drinks is one thing I do when I want to hide my drinking from my husband. If I am making a fun cocktail I will put it in an appropriate glass, put a lime (or whatever garnish is appropriate) on it, etc. Basically not hide that it is a cocktail. But if I am trying to hide it, I'll put it in a plastic cup, no lime or other identifying garnish, etc. I would consider vodka in an iced tea to be trying to hide it, but that's just my opinion based on my actions.

Anonymous wrote:Holy sh*t! I hope not! I do everything but pick him up and burp him!
He goes out when he wants, has guy weekends, drinks after work, regular sex.
I really have to look at my behavior. I just thought it was odd...

How is his heavy drinking your fault? I don't follow.

Holy sh*t! I hope not! I do everything but pick him up and burp him!
He goes out when he wants, has guy weekends, drinks after work, regular sex.
I really have to look at my behavior. I just thought it was odd...

Anonymous wrote:He is miserable and filling the void with drinking.

+1

Is he getting drunk or just having a few drinks at home? We usually pour a drink when we get home and then maybe another after dinner when we're winding down. Could be wine, vodka, whatever. That is not that uncommon. The only issue would be whether or not he's drinking enough to get drunk every single day. Otherwise he's probably stressed out--maybe over work or you??

Also, he normally has between 2-4 glasses of wine a night(that I know of).

He definitely has wine with dinner, but I think the reason I am noticing more is because he seems to think I dont know he is drinking the vodka. He is definitely hiding it.
I took a sip of his iced tea last night and almost choked. He took it, drank the whole thing down and sat down as if nothing happened.
I tried to act cool and asked him about it, he said he was in the mood for it and ended discussion.
If I ask too many questions he gets angry and defensive.

He is miserable and filling the void with drinking.

So two drinks a day or three or more? It's hard to know from the details provided whether you are projecting or on the right track. I'd be most concerned about the after dinner drink and he's drinking alone - that could be a sign that it's a crutch of some kind. But many many cultures have wine with dinner, and adding one other drink a day to the mix might not be a big deal.

But reality check time - YOU will never convince him it's a problem. He's going to have to think it's a problem to make a real change.

Even if he isn't "addicted " he is abusing alcohol.

He is on his way to alcoholism. That's not a healthy or normal drinking pattern. Hopefully he can be persuaded to go to the doctor.

I am not a big drinker so maybe I am over reacting. DH drinks every single day. It doesnt matter what it is, beer, wine, vodka, and not just with dinner. We ate dinner hours ago and he just made himself a mixed drink. I am extremely nervous as he has a family history of alcoholism.