Anonymous wrote:You may want to look up what TL;DR means.

I think it is you who might need to google that.

No, I would not take it. That commute would make me miserable.

OP - I'm originally from that area. My DH would leave the house at 6am, then leave the office at 4pm, home usually by 5. Can you swing this, have your DH take morning duty, then put your kids in aftercare? If you are home by 5 or even 6, you'd see them for a bit before bedtime.

I would do it for a year if I wanted a better career opportunity but that commute from SJ to SF is indeed a soul crusher.

Most companies out there are willing to provide flextime even for contractors. After a few months, can you ask about this?

Anonymous wrote:You may want to look up what TL;DR means.

Why? She's on point with that-- tl;dr (aka "teal deer") is "too long; didn't read." So alllllllllll that text could be considered tl;dr.

As for your predicament, OP... that sounds like a tough one! I have a 75 minute commute for a while, sans kids, and it was rough. but it was also without an end goal and the pay wasn't too great. If you know it will only be for one year, I think you could make it work. DH is there for the kids, so you're just essentially switching roles. I wouldn't do it permanently, but for 12 months, just put out a calendar and cross off the days as you go.

Commuting would be hard but if you can find some audio books, language CDs, etc, you can find a way to pass the time. The bigger question is, are you ok with being away from your home and your kids for that many hours each day? And is your husband ok with taking care of the kids and the housework for that time? It's one thing to talk about this in theory, it's another thing to put it into practice.

I did this experiment before my first job, so perhaps you'd find it helpful. Take a day (or week) and do the full commute. Have your husband deal with the kids and housework for that day/week. When's it's over, compare notes and go from there. This is the kind of thing that requires everyone to work as a team, kids included. When it goes well, it can bring you closer together as a family.

I would look for something closer.

I don't think it would be a 90 min commute. I think it would be more if you are talking rush hour door to door.

You may want to look up what TL;DR means.

Personally, a 99 minute commute would suck the joy out of my soul and render even the most amazing job worthless X it's not worth your pain or bring away from your kids.

Thats a tough one.

I will say though, I'm the VP of operations at my company and i have moved 2 of our receptionists into my department. Both of them were very smart and would come to me daily asking if they could help. I gave them little projects and it got bigger wnd bigger for them until i ended up needing them full time on my team. Id say theywere alwaysin a position to havr mor access to managemt and impress upper management than thr average employee.

One of them is now making approx 180k/yr running our largest contract and the other has only been on the team a month a d is very resourceful and o see him going places. His income doubled. Dont dismiss anothet admin role, just choose wisely and show ambition and dont give yo. Identify the secusion maker and work hard to get that persons attention.

It's a year. You can FaceTime with the kids when they get home from school.

Anonymous wrote:For one year, definitely. Call it paying your dues to relaunch your career.

That's effed up!

For one year, definitely. Call it paying your dues to relaunch your career.

I'd be tempted to do it but know that it will be sheer misery. Is there any possibility of WFH a day or two a week? Or working 7-3/4 so you're home evenings?

Summary: We have two sons, ages 9 and 7. I'm looking for some input/advice/anecdotes on dealing with a very long commute when you have children around this age. This arrangement would last for one year. Any thoughts would be most welcome.

TL;DR version: When my husband and I got married, I was an administrative assistant. Not exactly a superstar career, right? So when my husband started earning good money and we started having babies, it made sense for me to stay home for a couple of years. I've since dipped in and out of the workforce depending on where we were living at the time (we've moved around a bit for DH's career), but all of my jobs have been pretty low-level: bookkeeper, office manager, things like that. I've been bored with these roles for a while, but I never really went after anything more intense. These jobs were generally 9-5 or part-time gigs for family-friendly organizations not very far from home, and for a long time I was content with that tradeoff, and deliberately sought it out.

But six months ago, we moved again for DH's work (we are thinking for the last time until the kids are out of high school - fingers crossed!) and I started looking for a job. I wanted to try and push myself beyond office manager. I've got a master's degree now - I managed to swing that when I was working one of those admin roles - and I figured, why not at least try to aim a little higher now that I have this degree? It hasn't gone well, unfortunately. It's not like I'm applying to be CEO, but I think when hiring managers see my resume with all its low-level jobs, they dismiss me pretty quickly as a member of the secretarial pool.

One option is to take an Office Manager kind of role and try to move up the ranks, and that's what I'll probably do if nothing else works out. (Though realistically, how often have you seen that happen?) But in the meantime, I've managed to land one interview for a slightly higher-level job. It's a one-year contract with an amazing company and would, I think, be such a huge step in the right direction. It also pays significantly more than anything else I've ever done. I think having this on my resume could be the thing that changes the course of my career.

The big big big downside, however, is that it's a good 90+ minute commute each way. Ugh. I'm not in the DC area anymore, but if you know the Bay Area, it's San Jose to SF. It's the kind of commute people say NEVER to. I could use public transportation, so I wouldn't be sitting in traffic the whole time, but it's a hell of a lot of hours out of the week when I'm not with my children.

On the plus side, DH has a short commute and works for a wonderful, flexible employer. He could pick up a lot of the slack and is supportive. And I tell myself, it's only a year. A person can put up with anything for a year, and then going forward I can take this experience and use it to get a job much closer to home.

On the negative side, I'd be leaving the house before my children wake up in the morning and seeing them only after they eat dinner. I couldn't do anything with them during the week.

Part of me just wants to say "fuck all of it" and drive for uber or something. I'd make some money, if not a lot, and it would be completely my own schedule. But then I start thinking about the possibilities with this job and get really excited.

Anyone been there? Would you do it for a year to improve your career, or no way never no how? Is that kind of commute as terrible as I'm imagining it is?

Thanks!