I think my friends DH is cheating on her.
Recently started working late 2 nights a week and has to work out of town about one weekend a month.
Excessive texts that he said were all for work.
They rent their townhouse and inherited money they could use for a downpayment on a house so she started looking, now he says he is happy renting.
They never go out together just to the 2 of them
Keeps all his accounts private and wont share passwords

Weightloss is a studied side effect of falling in love.

Definitely preoccupation with their phone. Smiling at random times. Distant as well.

I'm sorry OP. Tread carefully though. My ex thought I was having an affair for a year (I didn't even associate with guys as friends during that time) but it was more about him wanting to shove off responsibility for what he had contributed to our marriage being the way it was. Believing I was having an affair was easier for him.

Being accused repeatedly of a non existing affair was crazy making for me. It was his theory of why I couldn't bring myself to sleep with him. In his mind the emotional abuse he repeatedly lashed out with couldn't possibly be a factor.

There may be signs, and if you snoop, you may uncover something. These days, most people get caught because of the electronic trail they leave through texts and email. At the same time, you may never see any clear signs.

Women are so much better at keeping an affair secret than men are. They are so much better at keeping any kind of secret and especially good at conspiring with other women who may be doing the same. You may never find the smoking gun that reveals the truth.

Bump

Anonymous wrote:

I actually found that my husband avoided talking about the woman he was sleeping with. So I would hear all sorts of work stories but if the OW was involved, he would just reference his "coworker" or the "project manager" without using her actual name. He used specific names for everyone else.

I think in the pre-affair phase, the name is used a lot, like he can't control it. then once they're sleeping together, her name is never mentioned .This is how it went down for me.

Yup, this. Exactly this. At first it's bursting from them, that need to say the name of the one they're crushing on, then once a line is crossed, they don't want to be found out, so they're guarding it.

Work travel. I found suggestive emails from an out-of-state colleague and realized they had been to two conferences together. Coincided with her suddenly worrying about her looks and as others said, being very distant from me

I actually found that my husband avoided talking about the woman he was sleeping with. So I would hear all sorts of work stories but if the OW was involved, he would just reference his "coworker" or the "project manager" without using her actual name. He used specific names for everyone else.

I think in the pre-affair phase, the name is used a lot, like he can't control it. then once they're sleeping together, her name is never mentioned .This is how it went down for me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A renewed interest in her appearance.

A lot of time texting and being very private about her phone.

Agree with these. Working late, obviously. Talking about someone a lot, even if not by name.

I actually found that my husband avoided talking about the woman he was sleeping with. So I would hear all sorts of work stories but if the OW was involved, he would just reference his "coworker" or the "project manager" without using her actual name. He used specific names for everyone else.

Weight loss. It's so cliche, but my husband miraculously dropped the extra 30 pounds he packed on during my pregnancies (oddly he gained more than me and didn't try to take any of it off). I joked with my best friend that he was having an affair. The joke was on me, though, because he was having an affair. Since the affair ended, he packed the weight right back on. I guess that's a sign he's being faithful, but it really grates on me that he was in shape for the OW and I don't count. Not to mention the health impacts (his family has a history of diabetes and his diabetic dad has been warning him about needing lifestyle changes for years). Funny thing is that I didn't really care about the extra weight except for health issues until I realized he was willing to try to look sharp for someone else.

He also became mean to me. Everything was all of a sudden my fault.

Finally, he worked all of the time, including overnight. I was pretty naive and actually felt very bad about his long hours. Of course, now I know he was using that time to woo and sleep with a coworker.

She joins a lot of wine clubs and has the wine sent to a friend's house.

Anonymous wrote:A renewed interest in her appearance.

A lot of time texting and being very private about her phone.

Agree with these. Working late, obviously. Talking about someone a lot, even if not by name.

A renewed interest in her appearance.

A lot of time texting and being very private about her phone.

there are none. your spouse could be cheating on you and you wouldn't even know it.

Lack of interest in you. If she used to ask for sex and no longer cares.

I think my wife is having an affair. What signs should I be looking for?