I have 3 kids. Two are school smart. One is not.

I see nothing wrong with being honest about being smart. If everyone was school smart, no one would be!

My daughter has other qualities that will help her succeed.

No big deal.

I have a daughter that is definitely not smart enough to be a doctor (or insert grinding schooling required). She DOES apply herself and she does quite well in school but that is only with a LOT of extra help/time/focus. She is 13 and has many (many!) awesome traits- we talk about those and about what fields/careers are a good match for her talents.

I think it is cruel how many parents act like (or believe???) that little DS or DD is brilliant/best athlete/best artist etc. when the facts clearly show otherwise.

I've gone to doctor after doctor with really bad people skills and they are still practicing. I do think you not only have to be smart to be a doctor and pass all the tests, but it helps to be single minded and have a lot of stamina. Even as a teenager I just didn't have the energy or stamina.

I certainly think it takes an above average IQ, but I know a few docs who don't seem so smart. Now, to be a really good doctor, I think it takes moderately high IQ, motivation, and a real skill for reading the body/people. The "smarts" part is probably only half the equation. Though I suspect most people who have parents who went to college are smart enough. Maybe not top 5 med school smart, but smart enough.

For the pp above, there are a lot of doctors with terrible people skills, but they are not necessarily bad doctors. There are other routes for doctors who do not want to deal with patients, such as specializing in something like pathology or radiology, or doing research. My aunt is a doctor who passes out at the sight of blood, not sure how she made it through med school, but now she is a pathologist making 300k per year and is very happy with her career!

Anonymous wrote:Or any tough career where you need a lot of brain power and credentials*

I was surprised to hear a dear friend say her daughter "just doesn't have -it-." I took that to mean she thinks her daughter is sort of stupid. Her daughter is 14 (and seems pretty bright to me)! I can't imagine lowering the bar or expectations already. I think you over prepare kids so they can pursue whatever they want at college. It seems her daughter is going to be nudged away from many fields long before college. Sad.

Granted, I wasn't there for the conversation, but I'm not sure out of all the personality traits needed to get into and survive medical school, why you think intelligence is what the mom was questioning about her child.

I know my oldest couldn't get through medical school. Probably couldn't get into medical school. She lacks the people skills, not the intelligence. She's a great problem solver. If she could do some introversion track medical training and set herself up with a gig like House, she'd cure hard to figure out diseases and be a star. As it is, she'd flounder miserably because the way doctors are taught and trained would be brutal for her. If I said she doesn't have -it-, that would be me being compassionate and realizing I shouldn't push her into a field she's not suited for. Be happy parents know that about their kids and don't encourage them to be doctors so you don't have to worry about them treating you someday

Also, some kids just aren't that smart. I know that's not cool to say on dcum, about dcum kids, but they can't all be geniuses, and that's ok too. (Fortunately all 4 of mine are profoundly gifted j/k) Hopefully the mom is able to look at her kids objectively and encourage the kid to develop the talents and interests he or she has, rather than pushing the kid too hard in a direction they'll never be able to succeed in.

Or it could be true. There are lots of kids that want to be doctors, go to Harvard and don't do homework or study.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think my dd has the brains for it but not the tenacity. She's an average student who does the min to pass. She does not have the drive to take the hard science courses as prep for med school.

Being a doctor is about a good memory (taking the mcat) and tenacity and being able to deal with the really long and hard days in residency. Of course you need brains too but the drive and stamina matters a lot in terms of getting through the grind of the system.

Thread isn't just about becoming a doctor. Any field that requires serious will and brainpower e.g. MD, corporate law, Silicon Valley, PhD, bulge bracket finance, MBB consulting.

Anonymous wrote:I think my dd has the brains for it but not the tenacity. She's an average student who does the min to pass. She does not have the drive to take the hard science courses as prep for med school.

This was me in high school and did fairly well on SATs and went to a big state school. Around sophomore year of college I realized that if I actually applied myself I could do really well in school. After a dismal freshman year I got straight As in college and went to a top law school. I work in big law 8 years now and have finally realized that wow I am smart. Just wish I never went tot law school and should have pursued med school to be a doctor. I just didn't think I ever could because I was never in honors/AP in high school and it took too long to get my shit together.

Anonymous wrote:I think my dd has the brains for it but not the tenacity. She's an average student who does the min to pass. She does not have the drive to take the hard science courses as prep for med school.

Being a doctor is about a good memory (taking the mcat) and tenacity and being able to deal with the really long and hard days in residency. Of course you need brains too but the drive and stamina matters a lot in terms of getting through the grind of the system.

Doctor here and I hope my kid is smart enough to become a plumber.

I think my dd has the brains for it but not the tenacity. She's an average student who does the min to pass. She does not have the drive to take the hard science courses as prep for med school.

Yeah, that's pretty mean. Even if her kid doesn't haven't it, she shouldn't say that aloud!

Sounds like your friend has issues.

Or any tough career where you need a lot of brain power and credentials*

I was surprised to hear a dear friend say her daughter "just doesn't have -it-." I took that to mean she thinks her daughter is sort of stupid. Her daughter is 14 (and seems pretty bright to me)! I can't imagine lowering the bar or expectations already. I think you over prepare kids so they can pursue whatever they want at college. It seems her daughter is going to be nudged away from many fields long before college. Sad.