Anonymous
09/07/2016 19:56
Subject: Drinking to avoid my husband
Anonymous wrote:I don't enjoy spending time with him. We shouldn't have married ten years ago. We don't make a good team. I am realizing this and instead of acting on it I am drinking too much to avoid/escape. Eventually I will get it together and move ahead, I hope.
Have others done this? How long does it take? Thanks.
If one's always drunk, it's hard to make a good team...
Anonymous
09/07/2016 19:54
Subject: Re:Drinking to avoid my husband
Anonymous wrote:I have a co-worker in her late 50's who routinely takes a 2 hour lunch and drinks. She is happily married (no kids) to a man who probably is also an alcoholic. Too each their own...
Can I join her at lunch?
Anonymous
09/07/2016 17:56
Subject: Drinking to avoid my husband
That or binge eating.
Anonymous
09/07/2016 17:32
Subject: Drinking to avoid my husband
I am so worried my son will become like your DH. We tried, OP.
Anonymous
09/07/2016 17:03
Subject: Drinking to avoid my husband
Anonymous wrote:I did the same - I was so agitated by my husband (for very deep issues) that I drank to take the edge off of being around him. I didn't even realize I was doing it, it wasn't "problem" drinking so I wasn't concerned but obv not healthy.
We went to marital counseling, fixed our marriage in ways I never thought possible, and now while I still drink socially and for fun, I feel no drive to drink the way I was. I didn't need to address the drinking, I needed to address the problem I was escaping.
That sounds really really good! Yay for you! I take the edge off a lot. I hate feeling as though I have to.
Anonymous
09/07/2016 16:39
Subject: Drinking to avoid my husband
I did the same - I was so agitated by my husband (for very deep issues) that I drank to take the edge off of being around him. I didn't even realize I was doing it, it wasn't "problem" drinking so I wasn't concerned but obv not healthy.
We went to marital counseling, fixed our marriage in ways I never thought possible, and now while I still drink socially and for fun, I feel no drive to drink the way I was. I didn't need to address the drinking, I needed to address the problem I was escaping.
We went to marital counseling, fixed our marriage in ways I never thought possible, and now while I still drink socially and for fun, I feel no drive to drink the way I was. I didn't need to address the drinking, I needed to address the problem I was escaping.
Anonymous
09/07/2016 16:36
Subject: Re:Drinking to avoid my husband
I have a co-worker in her late 50's who routinely takes a 2 hour lunch and drinks. She is happily married (no kids) to a man who probably is also an alcoholic. Too each their own...
Anonymous
09/07/2016 16:36
Subject: Drinking to avoid my husband
Did I write this when I was drinking last night?
Same boat, OP, on everything.
Same boat, OP, on everything.
Anonymous
09/07/2016 16:34
Subject: Drinking to avoid my husband
I mostly watch TV to avoid mine. The question is whether the drinking is unhealthy. From your post, it sounds like it is. I'd find a new way to avoid him. Reading DCUM is a great avoidance tactic.
Anonymous
09/07/2016 16:33
Subject: Re:Drinking to avoid my husband
OP here--I acknowledge that my coping skills are rudimentary. Working on it.
Nonetheless, my probably STBX husband is an adult-sized child. Seriously, cannot hold a job. Has two beautiful, wonderful kids that he barely engages with on a day to day basis.
I do everything. For real. What do you recommend?
Nonetheless, my probably STBX husband is an adult-sized child. Seriously, cannot hold a job. Has two beautiful, wonderful kids that he barely engages with on a day to day basis.
I do everything. For real. What do you recommend?
Anonymous
09/07/2016 16:33
Subject: Re:Drinking to avoid my husband
Anonymous wrote:Your drinking because you never learned healthy coping skills. You are not drinking because you "don't enjoy your H".
You would have eventually come up against something else in your life that was not "working out" and you would have started drinking to avoid deal with that.
Stop the drinking and get to therapy. A therapist can help you figure out how to cope effectively, as well as help your marriage because you are going to get stronger as a person.
I mean, that said, I like to drink to avoid DH, too.
Anonymous
09/07/2016 16:23
Subject: Re:Drinking to avoid my husband
Your drinking because you never learned healthy coping skills. You are not drinking because you "don't enjoy your H".
You would have eventually come up against something else in your life that was not "working out" and you would have started drinking to avoid deal with that.
You would have eventually come up against something else in your life that was not "working out" and you would have started drinking to avoid deal with that.
Anonymous
09/07/2016 16:23
Subject: Drinking to avoid my husband
Excessive drinking on your part may make him disappear, but probably not on your preferred timeline.
Anonymous
09/07/2016 16:15
Subject: Drinking to avoid my husband
Took me about 5 years to realize what I was doing and break the pattern.
Anonymous
09/07/2016 16:14
Subject: Drinking to avoid my husband
I don't enjoy spending time with him. We shouldn't have married ten years ago. We don't make a good team. I am realizing this and instead of acting on it I am drinking too much to avoid/escape. Eventually I will get it together and move ahead, I hope.
Have others done this? How long does it take? Thanks.
Have others done this? How long does it take? Thanks.