Anonymous wrote:I used to do more of the initiating, but then after kids and dry spell just didn't have the desire. Problem is DH has a half-assed initiating game -- a little squeeze of the ass, a slight touch of a nipple, a soft thrust when we are spooning. Sometimes I can't tell if he is even trying to initiate. C'mon. Get after it. Sometimes I just want to be taken... How best to tell him without hurting his feelings?

Hope he rejects you. Seriously you must be a great lover.

Anonymous wrote:"Taken"?

Sounds like a bad Hallmark romance to me. Why not "take" him?

Too rapey.

Anonymous wrote:"Man up, you wuss. Or I'll get someone who can."

Sure big turn on there! Women are inherently clueless about sex.

Take me to bed or lose me forever you big stud!

Anonymous wrote:"Taken"?

Sounds like a bad Hallmark romance to me. Why not "take" him?

*Scoff!*

Anonymous wrote:Men can't win. No matter what.

Pretty much.

"Taken"?

Sounds like a bad Hallmark romance to me. Why not "take" him?

Men can't win. No matter what.

At some other, more neutral time, have a chat with him and tell him that sometimes you want him to be aggressive. And then tell him you'll play it up if that's the case. And when you feel like it, say in your most fake theatrical tone of voice, something to the effect of, "Oh please, please, I hope you're not thinking of taking of advantage of me!!!"

Works for us. He knows it's play time.

"If you want me, take me with everything you have. If not stop teasing."

"Man up, you wuss. Or I'll get someone who can."

"Ravish me, you big stud."

So it's cool for you not to try at all, but then after months of rejecting hum he's supposed to be super lover?
Of course he half-asses it , why get his hopes all the way up just to be smacked away.
Stop the navel gazing an up your game!

-married mom with 4 kids.

Anonymous wrote:I used to do more of the initiating, but then after kids and dry spell just didn't have the desire. Problem is DH has a half-assed initiating game -- a little squeeze of the ass, a slight touch of a nipple, a soft thrust when we are spooning. Sometimes I can't tell if he is even trying to initiate. C'mon. Get after it. Sometimes I just want to be taken... How best to tell him without hurting his feelings?

This kind of cracks me up. He is showing affection with some intimate touching without pushing for more and that's a problem. See, if you don't respond to his touch he is likely assuming, well, guess not today/tonight.

How many complaints have we seen here from women that men do what you describe and never stop at just that?

So, to answer your question. First, let him know that someday you might just want to be taken, that's it kind of a fantasy. Then, when you WANT to be TAKEN just turn, and in serious sexy way say, are you going to pussyfoot around or are you going to take it?

I used to do more of the initiating, but then after kids and dry spell just didn't have the desire. Problem is DH has a half-assed initiating game -- a little squeeze of the ass, a slight touch of a nipple, a soft thrust when we are spooning. Sometimes I can't tell if he is even trying to initiate. C'mon. Get after it. Sometimes I just want to be taken... How best to tell him without hurting his feelings?