Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have more respect for the person willing to live and admit that monogogamy just doesn't work. It never has, that's why porn, hookers, erotic romance novels and APs exist on fringe.

Monogamy was born out of maintaining generational family wealth and had nothing to do with base sexual desires. It was making sure the baby mamma had your baby.

Agree. I'm a woman in her early 50s and I realized within two years of being married that monogamy was not realistic for the long haul for people with normal sex drives. I do have an AP.

As did my wife, but I allow her to play as she pleases and it doesn't bother me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have more respect for the person willing to live and admit that monogogamy just doesn't work. It never has, that's why porn, hookers, erotic romance novels and APs exist on fringe.

Monogamy was born out of maintaining generational family wealth and had nothing to do with base sexual desires. It was making sure the baby mamma had your baby.

Agree. I'm a woman in her early 50s and I realized within two years of being married that monogamy was not realistic for the long haul for people with normal sex drives. I do have an AP.

Exactly +1

Anonymous wrote:I have more respect for the person willing to live and admit that monogogamy just doesn't work. It never has, that's why porn, hookers, erotic romance novels and APs exist on fringe.

Monogamy was born out of maintaining generational family wealth and had nothing to do with base sexual desires. It was making sure the baby mamma had your baby.

Agree. I'm a woman in her early 50s and I realized within two years of being married that monogamy was not realistic for the long haul for people with normal sex drives. I do have an AP.

Ego

I can't answer this in a non explicit way. If you post on the explicit page I'll tune you in.

Some people are just scumbags.

Anonymous wrote:Sadly, most people don't know who they are or what they can give when they marry. They only know what they want. It's a rare bird that truly knows and has the commitment to be honorable without mistakes or challenges. Look at all the people with broken backgrounds, stories of hurt rejection, etc. those are the people marrying - some of them can honor that commitment because of the hurt they are trying to prevent. Others never understand it. Few truly get what it is about. When you do get it though - it's the most beautiful fulfilling coexistence in life, that was made to create life.

While imperfect - I like this

I have more respect for the person willing to live and admit that monogogamy just doesn't work. It never has, that's why porn, hookers, erotic romance novels and APs exist on fringe.

Monogamy was born out of maintaining generational family wealth and had nothing to do with base sexual desires. It was making sure the baby mamma had your baby.

Sadly, most people don't know who they are or what they can give when they marry. They only know what they want. It's a rare bird that truly knows and has the commitment to be honorable without mistakes or challenges. Look at all the people with broken backgrounds, stories of hurt rejection, etc. those are the people marrying - some of them can honor that commitment because of the hurt they are trying to prevent. Others never understand it. Few truly get what it is about. When you do get it though - it's the most beautiful fulfilling coexistence in life, that was made to create life.

You can come up with over 1000 excuses for having an AP to help you sleep at night, but ultimately your action is fundamentally based on human greed. Have your cake and eat it too. We live in a free country. Marriage is a choice. Procreating is a choice. You have the choice never to get marry and have as many sexual partners as you want, following your own personal beliefs on sexiali the. You chose to get, married, have children then have an AP. The world would be a better place if men will man up (women too) to their decisions and stop being cowards. I have more respect for the person who doesn't contradict him or herself.

Maybe the friend is happy because all needs are being met. Monogamy and the benefits and the excitement of an AP. Immoral or not.

The thing is you'll hardly ever find someone who has an AP who will also say their marriage is great and wonderful. They always say there's something missing, whether it's sexual or emotional or both. However, there definitely are people who are fine with their marriages and who also cheat. It's just getting them to admit it and talk about it that's the difficulty.

Sorry if my post came off as a judgment. Not my intent. I've never felt the need the to seek out an AP. But curious about those who do. As a documentary film maker sometimes my curious nature gets the best of me.

Some people want sexual variety. Some people don't see their spouse or SO as something that they own and have exclusive rights to. Some people view sex as just a physical thing and not at all comparable to their love relationship with their spouse and SO.

I do not have an AP, don't want one, but I am able to look at it as more than cheating = bad person.

I've noticed a lot of references to APs in the threads. Just curious what motivated your decision? Did you pursue the AP, or did they pursue you? A friend recently admitted to me that he has an AP, but also says that he is perfectly happy every area of his relationship with his husband? I find this odd. I can understand if there were problems or sexual incompatibility.