Anonymous wrote:I think the only argument for doing it is working out something before a marriage goes bad is easier than after all of the emotions and trauma of a divorce affect everyone and lawyers get involved.

x2

I think the only argument for doing it is working out something before a marriage goes bad is easier than after all of the emotions and trauma of a divorce affect everyone and lawyers get involved.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone done a post-nup agreement and, if so, what is the motivation for doing one?

Just trying to understand the rationale for such an agreement and in what circumstances is one appropriate?

Seems goofy to have a post-nup. You are already married, why sign off on what the state would give you anyway. Should get pre-nup if you need it. Though I just advised a friend not to do a pre-nup with his soon to be engaged girlfriend. He has home and child and good paying job. She is coming into the relationship with very little and is going to basically be a SAHM. I told him not to so that he had some skin in the game. This will be his 3rd marriage.

Well, you know, there just might be people that want to negotiate something different than what the state would give them.

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone done a post-nup agreement and, if so, what is the motivation for doing one?

Just trying to understand the rationale for such an agreement and in what circumstances is one appropriate?

Seems goofy to have a post-nup. You are already married, why sign off on what the state would give you anyway. Should get pre-nup if you need it. Though I just advised a friend not to do a pre-nup with his soon to be engaged girlfriend. He has home and child and good paying job. She is coming into the relationship with very little and is going to basically be a SAHM. I told him not to so that he had some skin in the game. This will be his 3rd marriage.

I have thought about it in the context of deciding whether to stay at home. I make a good income now but would probably not be able to re enter the workforce with this sort of salary if I left. I absolutely would not do that without a post nup guaranteeing me alimony for the duration of his work life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would go back to work and hire an Au Pair.

I don't think you understand what an au pair does.

+1

She does not need an Au Pair, she'll need a house manager-slash-nanny.

Anonymous wrote:I would go back to work and hire an Au Pair.

I don't think you understand what an au pair does.

Anonymous wrote:What would be motivation for the financially disadvantaged partner in a marriage to ever agree to a post nup agreement thereby forgoing future earnings/savings?

I think it depends at what point the two were married. In my case, I already had a high paying (well, probably not high paying in DCUM land) and my spouse had a lower paying job prior to the marriage. Neither of us contributed to the career success of the other insofar as we both have regular 40 hour per week jobs so neither of us feels entitled to the earnings of the other.

I wish I had done this after I caught my DH cheating. I would have been much wiser then if I had asked for a pre-nup as a condition of staying in the relationship.

Now that I am out of that relationship, as PP describes, I would never agree to SAHM or limit my career for the benefit of another without a clear, written post-nup contract.

I would go back to work and hire an Au Pair.

My husband has fairly severe ADD, something that wasn't really apparent until after the birth of our second child. He functions very well with a limited set of regular tasks. He's a doctor, and earns a decent (though not extraordinary) salary. As time goes on, it is becoming more and more apparent that our lives will literally become one huge shit show if I go back to work full time because he will not be able to take on any of the management tasks.

I work part time now (our kids are just reaching school age). My plan was to ramp back up to full time in about 2 years. He is asking that I reconsider, because he does not want to have to do any more domestic work than he is already doing, and does not want to have to take on any of the family scheduling besides his own.

I am bored to tears by my mommy track job. I want to go back to work full time both for professional satisfaction and to be less dependent. But, as I said before, I am coming to understand that the impact on our quality of life might be pretty awful.

I am considering suggesting that I quit my job altogether (or pull back even more) and become a SAHM, which is what he really wants me to do. I am only willing to do that with a post-nup, though, that acknowledges that this was a mutual decision for the good of the family, and provides me with a secure financial future in the case of a divorce 5+ years down the road, when my ability to be gainfully employed will have eroded significantly.

If he's not willing to do it, then I will continue with my original plan, we'll outsource what we can, and he will have to adjust.

What would be motivation for the financially disadvantaged partner in a marriage to ever agree to a post nup agreement thereby forgoing future earnings/savings?

My friends ex attempted to do this shortly after they got married. THe business he had started pre-marriage got 2 huge clients. Prior to the marriage his company was barely breaking even. With the signing of both these clients, he was turning a 500,000 profit. He attempted to do a post-nup agreement so that if they got divorced everything from the company remained his.

Friend got suspicious. Found out he'd been cheating with multiple women for almost the entirety of the relationship. They divorced about 6 months later.

Easy, you either get the post-nupt you negotiate for yourself or the one imposed on you by the state.

Has anyone done a post-nup agreement and, if so, what is the motivation for doing one?

Just trying to understand the rationale for such an agreement and in what circumstances is one appropriate?