Anonymous wrote:Do you have a best friend or sibling who can pitch in? If not, care.com has great sitters

+1

Anonymous wrote:This is about your mother, not her entire generation.

FFS.

+1

MIL is part of the "Greatest Generation" - except her, not so much.

Do you have a best friend or sibling who can pitch in? If not, care.com has great sitters

My guess is they're probably wondering where they went wrong, raising children who can't seem to cope with their own lives.

I do understand this is a special case, OP, and I'm very sorry to hear that your husband is in the hospital. But, I don't agree with the idea that grandparents should be responsible to help raise grandchildren like many people seem to. It's nice if it can happen, but shouldn't be an expectation. A retired parent has put in more than enough sacrifice time raising YOU TO 20/30/40.

No one is complaining their fathers / FILs aren't helping - I wonder if women just woke up and said "F-it if the men can fully retire from responsibilities so can I"

I honestly can't blame them after spending so much of their lives waiting on other people - I'd be over it also if I'd had all the care taking on my plate for 30 years

I don't know. It's like they are too cool to be grandparents. I think they were a bit too cool to be parents too. And they wonder why our generation has to rely so heavily on parenting books.

My parents are wonderful. They would drop everything to help out in an emergency. If they lived closer they would be over more.

My IL's are super into themselves. They can't even be bothered to acknowledge the kids birthdays. I don't blame their generation. I blame them for being selfish.

I'm sorry OP that you are in this position. If you were my friend I would totally reach out and help you if I knew your husband was in the hospital. Do you have friends you can lean on, ask to bring your dinner, watch your kids??? Often people want to help, but don't know how and are very happy to do so when asked to do something specific.

As for your mother, I feel the same way to a certain extent of the baby boomer generation as well. My parents have hugely disappointed me over the last 15 years in how much they expect from my siblings and I in terms of financial and moral support and then show no gratitude or interest in their grandchildren. It sucks. Asking my parents for help, which is rare, like once every 5 years rare for an emergency, comes with so many condition and requirements of what they need, but in return they have no problem saying some pretty rude stuff when they want something in return. My FIL is the exact same way, so it isn't just my parents. My siblings have the same complains, so it isn't just me. I don't know, it can really suck sometimes, actually lots of times.

I see a lot of this too and it does seem different than our grandparents' generation. I'm lucky that my mom is helpful, but my MIL has never babysat and can't be bothered. And I have friends going through this too. The parents are always saying how busy they are and that they can't babysit because they have plans. I think for our grandparents generation the grandkids were their plans... and they enjoyed family activities.

Anyway, I'm very sorry OP. It sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now. Chin up!

Anonymous wrote:This is about your mother, not her entire generation.

FFS.

I'm with OP on this one. The pattern does seem to stretch over the entire generation... To the point where I expect entitlement upon meeting a baby boomer and the real surprise happens when they turn out to be a humble, respectful and altruistic person.

This could very well stem from the circumstances of the time during which they were brought up. It's no excuse for that sort of behavior, but it's certainly a viable cause.

What I don't understand is why everyone gets their panties in a twist about people making generalizations about the older generations but have no qualms about doing the same for millennials? I see a ton of "oh those crappy millennials" post on this forum, but the one time something negative is said about baby boomers it's "the individual and not their entire generation"? The double standard probably comes with the above mentioned entitlement.

Anonymous wrote:This is about your mother, not her entire generation.

FFS.

This. You are nuts, op. I think we know why your mom stays away.

Really? How about the fact that this is the generation that made money off the younger generations? Housing is 3xs what they paid. College tuition is ridiculous.

But they'll have a nice retirement. All that traveling and dining out...

Without the rude zinger attached, I agree with pp this is representative of your mother, not a generation.

This is about your mother, not her entire generation.

FFS.

I am so aggravated at my mother. My husband is in the hospital from a car accident. We have two kids. Heaven forbid she change her freaking schedule and her perfect retirement routine. That would just be too anxiety provoking. She might even have to, gasp, drive 30 minutes here and back to help. So I'm lugging two young kids to the hospital, running out of food and cooking plain pasta. She can barely be bothered to text, "it's not serious, is it?"

She actually does care. But since she babysat last week for 8 hours she feels taken advantage of and doesn't want to come help. but also guilty now for not stepping up. She even said to me, "I don't want to come over because I have plans with my other granddaughter and she catches everything. I don't want to come to the hospital and risk getting sick." Lamest excuse ever. Just freaking tell me your too burned out from your little sitting job last week. I may not understand but at least you won't compound the situation by playing coy.

What is wrong with that generation? Seems like everyone I know who's over 60 has an attitude of "I did my work in life, I got my money, you're on your own". So selfish! I cannot imagine having a family member or friend in the hospital and not offering to help or bother calling.

Newsflash to you baby boomers, you might regret your attitude when you're old and alone.
Also, if you're not going to step up, at least call. don't text.