Anonymous wrote:I hate to tell you this OP, but you will NEVER get over him if you still see him on a regular basis.
How could you?

The only way you can is if you change jobs.

Not true - I did with no problem. Give it a go before changing jobs

I hate to tell you this OP, but you will NEVER get over him if you still see him on a regular basis.
How could you?

The only way you can is if you change jobs.

Just realize that if he really knew you or if your H kicked you out he would run for the hills. He might be the one hoping he could find another job.

Then wonder why you put so much energy in somebody that helps you be self destructive.

Go no contact for 6 months, he won't remember your name.

Do not make any IM her is my answer to your question.
Also, no outside contacts.

Look, OP. Every relationship will have its problems. There is no better future with this one. Knowing that is how you get over it. This,man eill come with his problems, his baggage, his needs. His ideas. His issues. Grass is not greener. Only fun, because you do not have to be all in.

I was in the same situation - i "broke up" with him and at first it was painful but then I started to see the situation as the mirage that it was and him (as well as me but human nature I judge others more) for the fool that he was. Once we stopped the deep emotional intimacy it just got awkward enough we could keep a casual distance - its hard to have this big secret with someone and still be their close friend w/o acknowledging the big secret, so any remaining true closes and lingering feelings faded away.

It actually ended up being much easier than I expected - though we are both not overly dramatic people and are both very committed to keeping this buried forever.

Get under a new one?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you're at work, focus on work. Try to minimize contact to the extent possible. Focus on rebuilding your marriage. Spend time with your family. Going to counseling on your lunch breaks is a good use of your time as well, in order to understand better what is going on with you that made this happen.

Why not do the right thing and tell your husband?

PP here. I don't disagree that coming clean is going to be part of the marriage rebuilding process. But that wasn't what the OP asked. Naturally the lot of you are piling on her the same as usual rather than responding to the OP's question.

Anonymous wrote:When you're at work, focus on work. Try to minimize contact to the extent possible. Focus on rebuilding your marriage. Spend time with your family. Going to counseling on your lunch breaks is a good use of your time as well, in order to understand better what is going on with you that made this happen.

Why not do the right thing and tell your husband?

When you're at work, focus on work. Try to minimize contact to the extent possible. Focus on rebuilding your marriage. Spend time with your family. Going to counseling on your lunch breaks is a good use of your time as well, in order to understand better what is going on with you that made this happen.

Could you settle an argument? Did you give your AP oral sex on your first date?

Have sex with your neighbor. He might be your soulmate

Disgusting

Tell your husband. He will keep your AP away. Or he will divorce you and then both you and AP will be single.

I work with mine so I see him everyday. We were friends before so there is no possibility of ending all contact without others noticing. There is no bad blood, I just realized that we were getting too close and the energy exhausted on him is better spent working on my marriage. I am married, he is single.