You are completely over reacting.

Are you the same poster that flipped out when her kid spend $18 on lunch or had dessert at camp?

And honestly, what's wrong with icecream after a long hot day at camp? Obviously, their friend felt bad for them and paid for them to have icecream. And who can resist icecream while the rest of the camp/their friends are sitting there enjoying a cold treat. Do you expect your 9 and 7 yr old to sit there happily twiddling their thumbs while the rest are tentalizingly eating ice cream??? Give me a break OP.

It's ok OP, unclench. You sound really un-fun. It's not like they're eating a pound of fudge. You're borderline turning this into a forbidden food which is going to back fire.

The fact that your kids are not even telling you about it means that they anticipate your negative reaction. And that is sad.

How about you find a compromise...maybe on MWF you can have an icecream treat with your buddies. Or if they choose ice cream at camp then maybe a smaller dessert after dinner.

Your kids should work for you to earn the money back. You should consider lightening up - ice cream is not your priority, but it's such a little summertime pleasure, I also agree that you should allow it. Imagine yourself at a party but you can't eat anything and you've been told there's a Very Important Reason why but you don't really grasp it. It would suck. Plus it's so HOT!

This seems like a really weird way to approach money. How do you expect a 7 and 9 year old to get this message in such an abstract way?

My children earn money or get an allowance for such things. So in this case they could chose to spend their money on the ice cream and then they won't have money for the big stuff they want. If they look an "ice cream loan" for it- then they would still have to pay it back our of their own kitty.

The only message you are sending to them is that mom is in control of the money and she decides when we have ice cream. What you want them to learn is that by buying ice cream, they then can't get XXX that they have been saving for.

Anonymous wrote:I think you're wrong here. I think you need to unclench. It's summer. They're 7 and 9. They are watching all the kids around them eating ice cream, and they're supposed to ... just stand there and say "I'm abstaining."?

If what they want to spend money on is ice cream, why can't they do that? It's SUMMER. Summer should be fun.

We have no idea what OP's financial situation is. Sure, maybe she's just frugal, but that's a big assumption.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sympathetic but think you've done enough and need to let it go. At this age, kids do this kind of stuff. They will learn in time, and it was probably sufficiently embarrassing for them to not have the money to repay and have it turn into a whole "thing" with the moms that they won't repeat it.

+1

+100. You are really expecting too much for this age group. And I think it's pretty sad they can't ice cream at camp. Please rethink your approach.

Sorry, OP but you sound really mean. I understand wanting your kids to know the difference between need and want, but denying them ice cream at summer camp just to prove this point seems cruel.

I would pack my lunch, watch how much recreational driving I do to save gas, sew an old bra back together (just did this), etc before I restrict ice cream from my kids at summer camp. Life is so short and its such a simple joy. It

Anonymous wrote:I think you're wrong here. I think you need to unclench. It's summer. They're 7 and 9. They are watching all the kids around them eating ice cream, and they're supposed to ... just stand there and say "I'm abstaining."?

If what they want to spend money on is ice cream, why can't they do that? It's SUMMER. Summer should be fun.

+1. OP has completely forgotten what it is like to be a kid. You are raising children, not Suzi Orman. Give them an allowance and let them manage their own money.

I understand the need to tech want vs need but in this case you sound really mean.

You are expecting too much of such young children. Resisting ice cream is hard, even for adults.

Anonymous wrote:I'm sympathetic but think you've done enough and need to let it go. At this age, kids do this kind of stuff. They will learn in time, and it was probably sufficiently embarrassing for them to not have the money to repay and have it turn into a whole "thing" with the moms that they won't repeat it.

+1

How sad your kids can't have ice cream in the summer with their friends. Makes me sad for them.

I'm sympathetic but think you've done enough and need to let it go. At this age, kids do this kind of stuff. They will learn in time, and it was probably sufficiently embarrassing for them to not have the money to repay and have it turn into a whole "thing" with the moms that they won't repeat it.

I think you're wrong here. I think you need to unclench. It's summer. They're 7 and 9. They are watching all the kids around them eating ice cream, and they're supposed to ... just stand there and say "I'm abstaining."?

If what they want to spend money on is ice cream, why can't they do that? It's SUMMER. Summer should be fun.

I have been angry since last night and am still fit to be tied.

I have repeatedly explained to my DCs (9 and 7) that our family has different priorities with money and I would not be providing funds for an afternoon treat at camp. Last night at bedtime I found out that another child, on TWO consecutive days, has paid for ice cream for both of my children and said, "You can pay me back tomorrow."

This morning (as I had no cash on my person) I had to go to the store to buy something to get cash back to repay the $12 they wasted on ice cream. I wrote a long note to the parent of this other child, commending her son for being kind and thoughtful, but explaining that I am trying to teach my children the difference between a need and a want, and the difference between a quick treat now versus saving up for something big and special. I also spoke with the camp director, who was unaware this had happened but said he would remind the children that if someone's parent wanted them to have ice cream, that parent would have provided the funds.

My children know they should not have done this, and they did not have their own money to sneak out of the house (which they have done before for pizza at a different camp and paid the consequences). I guess I am frustrated at my money lessons being undermined and my DCs' inability to say, "No thanks" when offered the ice cream money.

What would you do here? How to impress upon them this was a poor choice and must not be repeated?