Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Another thing i am trying to do is figure out why this area is so expensive, this way at least i could get something out of living here.

Prices are higher because of the schools, which you might not be using yet.

The schools are the same throughout the county. What varies is the HHI of the students attending the schools. If you want your child to attend schools where the majority of students come from families with high HHI, then move to Bethesda or Potomac. If that is not important to you, then move anywhere else in the county. Schools are not inherently better because they are located in Bethesda.

I do write how expensive all is and it sure is, but you also make a lot of money.
Why are your older cars still $600?
You mention eating out. Stop eating out so much. You toddler (or baby) hardly enjoys. There should be plenty of things to do in Bethesda other than eating out.
$5000 left is a lot. Car payments don't last forever, pre-school payments don't last forever nor do the student loan payments.
You mentioned "older cars". Who cares how old they are as long as they run. Feeling poor is in your head, it's not the reality. Work on that feeling because you are not poor as long as you pull in that income.

Anonymous wrote:
Another thing i am trying to do is figure out why this area is so expensive, this way at least i could get something out of living here.

Prices are higher because of the schools, which you might not be using yet.

Your child care expenses seem very high. I live in Silver Spring and don't think it is bland (blend?) and we like our schools.

of course by saying "i feel poor" I was not comparing myself to a single mom working 2 minimum wage jobs and trying to raise kids.

I am not saying $350k is not a good HHI, all i am saying is that it doesn't get you very far if you live in this place and want to have a family.

The other thing is that there is really nothing special at all about this place, I would be more understanding if we lived in Miami, LA or New York. Maybe i am missing what makes this place pricy, there may be something great about it that i am not seeing.

Thanks for the replies...i am venting a little bit here but i would like to find out what i am doing wrong.

$350k per year is about $14.5k per month after taxes

Mortgage: $3800 and that's low because of the fixer upper house
2 kids in day-care: $4000 (only 1/2 now since we dont have the 2nd kid yet)
2 cars: $600
Student debt: $600
Bills: $600
House cleaning: $300

that's less $5000 left per month, which would be ok if we didnt eat out and go on trips now and then. We may be doing too much of that...

We also spend a lot on our house because it is a fixer-upper.

The bottom line is that after all these years and all the work trying to do the right thing, we are barely making end meet.

Another thing i am trying to do is figure out why this area is so expensive, this way at least i could get something out of living here.

By the way, I just went on zillow and searched for 4 BR+ homes for less than 800k and 10 houses came up, all in need of work.

Depends what you mean by "feeling poor." We live in Bethesda. Combined income of $225k. Small fixer-upper cost $640k and I guarantee you it's worse than yours (ie, no dishwasher, no driveway, etc). One kid in preschool and hoping for another. Paying two day care tuitions simultaneously will require a dip into savings, for sure. We max out our retirement, have one car, commute on the metro, and save about $1000 per month (half of which goes into a 529 for the kid). We don't feel poor, in that we can eat out if we want to, we can buy books or toys or see movies if we want to. We cannot afford to take a real vacation, though, at least not without compromising our savings. (And we need to save because we are looking at IVF for kid #2.) We don't wear expensive clothes; hell we don't even buy clothes until the ones we have wear out. We grit our teeth every time there is a home repair. Private school is out of the question. We worry about saving for college. Etc. All in all, we make a shit ton of money, but it's a very expensive area to live in, so we don't feel rich, particularly when people talk about vacationing to Disney or abroad or anywhere that requires a plane ride and we aren't doing that. But clearly we are not poor. And neither are you.

Anonymous wrote:I totally get it- we are in a very similar situation, I almost wonder if you are my husband posting. I do not feel like we have money to burn AT ALL.

If that's your definition of not feeling poor, you will always feel poor.

I totally get it- we are in a very similar situation, I almost wonder if you are my husband posting. I do not feel like we have money to burn AT ALL.

You're poor.

First of all, you could afford much more house. What do you spend your money on?
Just say your net is $14,500 a month. You don't have nice cars, what's your mortgage? $3500? Daycare $2k, food and house stuff $4k if you eat out a lot. Where does the other $5k go?

First of all you make more than twice what we do, our HHI is about $140. And we manage to save for retirement and put some away for schools as well.

Our kids are out of the daycare/preschool thing, so we have no childcare costs -- only summer camp and activities.

Do you have a lot of debt? Where is all your money going?

Also, 800K is not a cheap house. For some parts of Bethesda its on the low side, for other parts it's about right.

The average HHI in Bethesda is less than yours. If you can't afford 2 kids on 350k then you are doing something very wrong.

If that's what you were told it must be true, right? Maybe develop your own opinion?

Hello,

My wife and I moved to Bethesda last year and I have really been struggling with this decision ever since.

Together we have a combined income of about $350k and I have never felt so poor in my life. We bought a cheap fixer upper house (800k with reno) and drive older cars but still we are not able to put much in saving or max out our retirement accounts. We have 1 son in pre-school and my wife wants another kid but i am freaking out about not being able to afford it.

Anyways i am just wondering if other people feel poor around here (even on reasonably high incomes) or do they all make $500k+.

Maybe we should move to Rockville or Silver Spring? It's just sooo extremely blend over there, and we are told that the shools are bad.