Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Married 6 years. Just had a baby. We are sleep deprived, but very happy. Tell each other how grateful we are to have found each other.

Do yourself a favor and stop at one kid.

The key, to be honest, is not having any! Longitudinal studies bear that out.

Cite?

We have 3. And we're happy.

But I think I'd be happiest if I could go on a solo road trip for 10 days.

There have been several -- Google childless + couples + study, and you will get hundreds of hits. Studies have also found that among married couples, happiness takes a dip when kids are born, and doesn't rise back to the levels of childless couples until the kids are eighteen.

However, if having children was always very important to you, it doesn't much matter what these studies report!

From a male perspective - looks do matter. DW was really skinny and had not hit her style when we first met. She was above average. However in her late 40s she now stands out (exercise and sunscreen) that I am amazed at her beauty and now try harder than ever to please her. Btw I have daughters and I am still trying to figure this out.

Married 13 years and in our mid 40's with one kid. We're both happy and still in love. Yes, her too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Married 6 years. Just had a baby. We are sleep deprived, but very happy. Tell each other how grateful we are to have found each other.

Do yourself a favor and stop at one kid.

The key, to be honest, is not having any! Longitudinal studies bear that out.

Cite?

We have 3. And we're happy.

But I think I'd be happiest if I could go on a solo road trip for 10 days.

Nope. We are truly head over heels in love. No faking it. We have treated each other with patience and compassion during the hard times (deaths and stress and bad jobs) and just ride it out until the good hits again.

I do believe somewhat in "fake it till you make it" because that's how I've gotten close with my inlaws but haven't needed to work that hard with Dh.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Married 6 years. Just had a baby. We are sleep deprived, but very happy. Tell each other how grateful we are to have found each other.

Do yourself a favor and stop at one kid.

The key, to be honest, is not having any! Longitudinal studies bear that out.

Lol there is a difference between being happy as an individual and happily married. To be happily married is to be able to talk about anything and to be open to hearing anything. It means being able to have a total b-tch fest and it not deteriorating the goodwill from your spouse. It means periods of wild sex are treated the same as a long stretch of abstinence. Both should prompt a conversation. Honesty; in all its ugly glory is just about the only requirement for any marriage. Now, if you are sitting there and thinking you are unhappy as a person then that is what it means to be an individual. Your emotions are not sourced from the relationship. They may become enhanced or even muted by the relationship, but they are not a product of your marriage. Do not confuse the state of you, as an individual, with the state of your marriage.

Anonymous wrote:Married 6 years. Just had a baby. We are sleep deprived, but very happy. Tell each other how grateful we are to have found each other.

Do yourself a favor and stop at one kid.

Anonymous wrote:Married 6 years. Just had a baby. We are sleep deprived, but very happy. Tell each other how grateful we are to have found each other.

Oh, newlyweds.

Married 20+ years. The first 15 were easy. Not feeling the love right now.

Anonymous wrote:... do you ever feel as though you add just faking it? Being happy, that is? As though you don't care one way or the other?Living in a little bit of an emotionally dishonest life?

Or, am I really further away from happily married than I thought?

If you are faking being happy, then you really are not happy.

Married 22 years and I think we are both happy. Key seems to be open conversation. She brought a lot of her mothers ignorance into the marriage and I had to learn to not bring my type A personality home. Got to do it for us and the kids.

Married 6 years. Just had a baby. We are sleep deprived, but very happy. Tell each other how grateful we are to have found each other.

No

No, I am happy. As far as I can tell, DW is happy as well. Been together 35 years. No faking here.

... do you ever feel as though you add just faking it? Being happy, that is? As though you don't care one way or the other?Living in a little bit of an emotionally dishonest life?

Or, am I really further away from happily married than I thought?