I don't understand why you would feel "clobbered." When our then 5 year old was diagnosed we were thrilled almost to be able to define why our kid was struggling, impulsive and different from her friends. It helped us sort out some school issues, target play dates better and begin some actual family counseling that helped.

We used a psychologist for parent counseling (how to better address situations, how to better parent this child, how not to ignore "easier" child) and our ADHD kid does play therapy which usually revolves around school situations like sitting during circle time and not calling out over the other kids, which pisses them off and means no friends. It also helped us get a 504.

1.5 years later we also moved to medicine. A teacher told us DD had excellent comprehension and clearly had solid math skills but could keep her body still long enough to perform. She would walk in circles around the book and keep losing her place, for example. We added medicine to the mix and low and behold it turns out she is far more capable than we ever imagined and moved up each day to the next grade for reading.

A diagnosis can be great if you use it properly. Good luck.

OP here: A good day is one where he keeps his hands, feet, and spit to himself.

If you do get a second opinion then go with neuropsych testing. FWIW, Dan Shapiro recommends medicating ADHD. We have and it's helped a lot but finding a psychiatrist to manage the process was a whole ordeal for us and then so was finding the right med and dosage. Also, you might want to rethink Montessori. It's not a good fit for most kids with SN.

I assume that you saw challenges/issues that led you to get him evaluated in the first place -- he's still the same sweet boy he was before diagnosis, only now you have a roadmap and plan in place to help him.

I see that you're not planning on going to public next year, so I don't really see the value in contacting the public school district. They aren't going to offer you much of anything. I would question, though, whether montessori is the right fit for him, especially if he's having trouble at school. My child with ADHD needs more structure than montessori can provide.

Also, for your sticker chart, I assume you are defining "good day." Otherwise, it's too amorphous to help him make good choices. I would choose no more than three things he is struggling with -- so maybe a sticker for using his words when he's upset (instead of crying or hitting or whatever he does) and another sticker for joining the group at circle time. Or whatever skill you are targeting.

I feel clobbered. To make a long story short, my 5 year old was diagnosed as combination ADHD by a developmental-behavior pediatrician who came highly recommended by our regular pediatrician. She gave my DH and myself evaluations, met with our child, and received evaluations from his Montessori teacher.

She is referring us to a family psychologist so we can learn how to best interact with him as well as modify some behavior. We’re already starting a sticker reward chart where 5 stickers (each sticker is for a good day at school) equals something fun for him (his choice).

His impulsive behavior is causing problems at school and our doc suggested Rx. We’re going to start with behavior modification. I want that to be our last choice.

He has a late summer birthday so we are planning to stay at Montessori for Kindergarten, then see if he’s ready for 1st grade next year, if not, he’ll do K again at the public school.

What should I do now?
Should I get a second opinion? He wasn’t borderline, he was a “classic” case.
Should I reach out to FFX county special education (we are in the Reston area) for evaluation?
Are there resources/groups for parents?
I ordered Taking Charge of ADHD, any other book recommendations?

Thanks in advance!

just keep swimming...