Anonymous wrote:If I were your DH, it's unlikely I would help again. And I certainly wouldn't even consider it if the nephew didn't reach out to me himself. I wouldn't want to burn my connections for someone who flaked once already on me and caused me to spend goodwill for nothing.

Unfortunately for the nephew, I agree. My company really frowns upon employees giving recommendations for candidates that aren't going to take the job. If I had previously recommended someone that flaked out that way, no one would take my recommendations seriously for a long time after that, if ever.

I can understand the nephew being reluctant to take the part time gig 45 minutes away but he didn't have any other offers on the table from anyone else and never followed up with the office closer to him. It's a stupid young person decision but that would be a burned bridge at my company.

If I were your DH, it's unlikely I would help again. And I certainly wouldn't even consider it if the nephew didn't reach out to me himself. I wouldn't want to burn my connections for someone who flaked once already on me and caused me to spend goodwill for nothing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your nephew is too old to have mommy handling his job search.

He is past the teenage years. Time for him to man up and separate from the helicopter.

This is the type of affirmative action some DCUMers love , don't ya know?

If this were OPs niece I woukd have said she needs to out on her big girl pants.

There is a cliche for every special snowflake in the world.

He must be about 24 now. At that age, he needs to be doing his own networking. It's on HIM to reach out to his uncle. He's simply too old to have his mommy networking for him.

Anonymous wrote:Your nephew is too old to have mommy handling his job search.

He is past the teenage years. Time for him to man up and separate from the helicopter.

This is the type of affirmative action some DCUMers love , don't ya know?

Your nephew needs to take the lead because he is going to have to be able to fill in ten years before he even got a low paying job. Two years out of school and no job is going to make some wonder if he really has all that much drive. If there is any option for him to use job counseling services from his college, then I would also encourage him to do so. This is a competitive job market, and he needs to build up some skills in interviewing, reading about the area he hopes to enter, and it might look good to go to take an online course or go it a community college for a couple of courses to brush up on skills he may need or to further his skills set.

Mommy should not be in charge of juniors job search.

Anonymous wrote:Your nephew is too old to have mommy handling his job search.

He is past the teenage years. Time for him to man up and separate from the helicopter.

Agree, he is 28 now.

Anonymous wrote:I think he learned a tough lesson. It would be very kind if your DH gave him a second shot with the company but I could understand if he wouldn't.

I don't think 45 minutes was too far to go for a PT job but I'm probably in the minority.

The thing is that it probably would have led to FT within a few months...
Anyway, if he asks DH himself and discusses what he wants, I'm sure DH would help him.

Your nephew is too old to have mommy handling his job search.

He is past the teenage years. Time for him to man up and separate from the helicopter.

Anonymous wrote:He's young and made a dumb decision. It's fair to make him reach out of he wants to interview again, because that's the mature thing to do. But you eventually have to write off the first time as him being young and naive.

OP here, that sounds reasonable and fair.

I think he learned a tough lesson. It would be very kind if your DH gave him a second shot with the company but I could understand if he wouldn't.

I don't think 45 minutes was too far to go for a PT job but I'm probably in the minority.

He's young and made a dumb decision. It's fair to make him reach out of he wants to interview again, because that's the mature thing to do. But you eventually have to write off the first time as him being young and naive.

Anonymous wrote:I don't think he was being a brat for turning the job down...I wouldn't take a part time job 45 minutes away from my home if I thought I could find something full time closer.

But it's not on your husband to help him get another interview.

If he really wants an interview, he'll send your husband a resume and ask to meet for an informational interview.

But he didn't find anything closer for two years and even then it's very low paying.

I don't think he was being a brat for turning the job down...I wouldn't take a part time job 45 minutes away from my home if I thought I could find something full time closer.

But it's not on your husband to help him get another interview.

If he really wants an interview, he'll send your husband a resume and ask to meet for an informational interview.

My DH works for a large company with offices in many cities.
When my nephew finished his business degree, his mom ( my sister) asked me if DH can help get him a job. DH talked to some people and got him an interview. It's a great company with great benefits. Nephew had the interview. They offered him a part time job that was 45 minutes away. It would have been a great way to get into a company and then move up. Nephew didn't want to travel that far for a PT job. So they told him to call someone specific in his local city and they can find him something closer. Nephew be ever followed up.
He lives with his parents and has use of their extra car.

Fast forward, he was unemployed for two years after this. Sister said he didn't follow up because he assumed he would easily get another job quickly that would be exactly what he wanted. He managed to get a job that pays $13/ hr full time in his city. He has worked there a few years but it is dead end.

Now, my sister hints that she wants dh to get nephew a job again and this time he won't he as picky.
If he actually took the first job, he would likely be making 60k by now.

I sort of feel he had his shot and blew it. I told my sister if he wants to discuss it he can talk to DH instead of having him mom ask me.
Am I right in thinking nephew was a brat?
He is otherwise a really wonderful sweet guy.