Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We use joint accounts.

Anecdotal, my impression is that 80% of my married friends use joint accounts and 20% keep their money separate.

But I am not sure I know any couples that put their money into a pooled joint account and then transfer it out to separate, individual spending accounts (except for one case where the wife is doing it in secret).

Is there a reason you don't just want to operate out of a fully joint account? It sounds like it would make your life easier.

OP here. I would actually be fine with just doing everything out of the joint account, but he says he doesn't want to pay for my student loans. And he loves to shop (e.g., all the gear you can imagine for the camping trip he takes every other year), so it's probably best for me to be unaware of how much money he spends on things that I don't consider necessary.

And 15:42 - I'm in awe that you can make that system work!! I'm basically trying to minimize the need for me to ask him to chip in or otherwise contribute more than he already has, since most of those conversations end up in an argument.

Then, maybe ***the real problem is that he's just not as concerned as I am***, and he'll go days and weeks without checking on our accounts, knowing that I'll take care of things, and restructuring how the money flows won't solve that.

15:42 here. Op, I agree with you that the issue is above (starred). It works in our case because we both check accounts regularly (dh probably more often than me), but I do check at least weekly.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We use joint accounts.

Anecdotal, my impression is that 80% of my married friends use joint accounts and 20% keep their money separate.

But I am not sure I know any couples that put their money into a pooled joint account and then transfer it out to separate, individual spending accounts (except for one case where the wife is doing it in secret).

Is there a reason you don't just want to operate out of a fully joint account? It sounds like it would make your life easier.

OP here. I would actually be fine with just doing everything out of the joint account, but he says he doesn't want to pay for my student loans. And he loves to shop (e.g., all the gear you can imagine for the camping trip he takes every other year), so it's probably best for me to be unaware of how much money he spends on things that I don't consider necessary.

And 15:42 - I'm in awe that you can make that system work!! I'm basically trying to minimize the need for me to ask him to chip in or otherwise contribute more than he already has, since most of those conversations end up in an argument.

Then, maybe the real problem is that he's just not as concerned as I am, and he'll go days and weeks without checking on our accounts, knowing that I'll take care of things, and restructuring how the money flows won't solve that.

His not wanting to pay for your student loans is just...well...a financial version of semantics. Pregnancy brain is keeping the word from me. Anyway, whether "he" pays or "you" pay, you two are a married couple. Everything goes to the same place anyway. If it makes him feel better to have student loan $$ come from *your* account, well good for him. But at the end of the day, its all your joint money anyway. Because student loan payments is taking away from the good of the whole family, not just you.

We also have a joint checking/savings account. All of our investment accounts are also joint accounts. We tried separate accounts but its just easier this way.

We get our paychecks deposited into one account every pay period. We pay bills out of that account (both "personal" expenses like student loans and "joint" expenses like mortgage payment). Then, we both know what we have leftover to spend on our own stuff after bills are paid.

I dont have another checking/savings account because I dont see the need for one. I dont have a need to squirrel away money for a rainy day... Im not planning to leave my husband anytime soon, but if I were (or if he were to leave me) I have a good enough income and family support that would help me get on my feet if needed. Plus, I dont think my husband even knows the password/login info for our savings acct/brokerage info, so he is really the one who would be screwed if shit hit the fan.

Anyway, back to the lecture at hand, I feel that the joint accounts makes us more of a financial "team". We can look at the savings acct each month, brokerage account a few times/year, etc. (not looking at that one today!) and know that we are succeeding working towards our common goals. And, honestly, its just easier.

Anonymous wrote:We use joint accounts.

Anecdotal, my impression is that 80% of my married friends use joint accounts and 20% keep their money separate.

But I am not sure I know any couples that put their money into a pooled joint account and then transfer it out to separate, individual spending accounts (except for one case where the wife is doing it in secret).

Is there a reason you don't just want to operate out of a fully joint account? It sounds like it would make your life easier.

OP here. I would actually be fine with just doing everything out of the joint account, but he says he doesn't want to pay for my student loans. And he loves to shop (e.g., all the gear you can imagine for the camping trip he takes every other year), so it's probably best for me to be unaware of how much money he spends on things that I don't consider necessary.

And 15:42 - I'm in awe that you can make that system work!! I'm basically trying to minimize the need for me to ask him to chip in or otherwise contribute more than he already has, since most of those conversations end up in an argument.

Then, maybe the real problem is that he's just not as concerned as I am, and he'll go days and weeks without checking on our accounts, knowing that I'll take care of things, and restructuring how the money flows won't solve that.

Just went through this with my wife... I make more money, but she does all the budgeting. We used to split everything -- in that I would pay some of our bills, she would pay the others. But that got a little hairy to keep balanced as our expenses and incomes went through changes over the years (e.g. my pay increased, daycare ended, we bought a car, etc.). We've been together nearly 10 years and just finally decided in the last few months decided to pool our resources and let her handle all the bill paying and financial management.

The way we did it is that I just updated my direct deposit to put 80% of my pay into her checking account, she added me to that account, and to put 20% of my pay in my checking account. This way i still have my own money to spend however I choose and she has enough money in hers to handle all the bills and only has to check one account. If I ever need/want more money, I can just transfer it to myself from her checking account, but I have yet to do this.

good luck!

1. All of our accounts are joints
2. both of our paychecks go to the account.

Only I (DH) manages the accounts, pay all the bills...etc.

we have completely joint accounts and all paychecks, bonuses, cash in etc goes to the joint accounts. what is the reason for separate accounts and all that headache? are you not married and partners in everything?

I just don't understand the logic. maybe if this is a second marriage type of scenario where one partner, or both, came into the marriage with kids from a previous marriage.

if it matters, I have a BS in finance, worked in commercial banking, and do all the money management for my household. I am also the DW.

We just have a joint account. We've always made roughly the same amount of money (within $25k) and we have the same end goals of paying our mortgage, saving for college for the kids, and other various savings goals. So it all just goes into one joint checking. I pay all our bills and move agreed upon money to the various other accounts. If we have a month with lower spending, we talk about where the extra should be applied.

i do not understand separate accounts within a marriage. You stated that you both have a personal credit card? For what? How do you budget? How do you save? If one partner has an unexpected need (car maintenance or refrigerator broke), who pays? In my house , an unexpected bill requires that the entire household needs to tightened it's belt for the month or two. Multiple accounts seems like extra work (well, for you anyway). I would lobby for 1 joint account and give it a trial run for 6-12 months.

1. How many of you share a joint checking or savings account for household expenses?

We share a joint account for house expenses: mortgage and utilities. Other expenses, kids activities, cable, phones, car, groceries, go from our individual accounts. We balance out the big payments, so dh covers 100% mortgage and utilities, I cover 100% childcare. Something along these lines. If for example, I buy vacation tickets / hotel on my account, I may ask DH to chip on or vice versa. We don't do it strictly 50-50. Savings for kids college also go from my personal account.

2. For those with joint accounts, are your paychecks automatically deposited into the joint account?

No, goes to personal accounts and then we transfer as needed to joint.

should not sound

Instead of putting in equal amounts, it sound be a percentage of your salary. If he makes more, he should be putting in more.

We have scheduled deposits from our personal accounts and if the joint account is low, we each contribute equally to replenish. I hate it when he mixes his personal expenses into this account but that's another battle.

We use joint accounts.

Anecdotal, my impression is that 80% of my married friends use joint accounts and 20% keep their money separate.

But I am not sure I know any couples that put their money into a pooled joint account and then transfer it out to separate, individual spending accounts (except for one case where the wife is doing it in secret).

Is there a reason you don't just want to operate out of a fully joint account? It sounds like it would make your life easier.

For many years, my husband and I have each had our separate personal checking and savings accounts, into which our paychecks are automatically deposited and from which our personal expenses (e.g., personal credit cards, student loans) are paid. We also have a joint checking account into which we make roughly equal monthly contributions and from which our joint expenses (e.g., mortgage, tuition, utility bills, joint credit card bills) are paid.

Problem is that I'm the one who monitors all of our checking, savings, and credit card accounts on a daily basis to make sure we have enough in each and, if we're short, asking him to put in more money, which usually takes at least 1 or 2 reminders after the initial request. It stresses me out to do 100% of the work required in overseeing the joint accounts, but I know I can't rely on him to do it because payments will bounce.

So, I'd like to have our paychecks automatically deposited into the joint account, with each of us transferring money over to our personal accounts to cover our personal expenses. He's resistant, saying that this won't actually add any more money. I'm obviously aware of the math, but I'm simply looking for a way to share the responsibility.

Questions:
1. How many of you share a joint checking or savings account for household expenses?
2. For those with joint accounts, are your paychecks automatically deposited into the joint account?

Thanks for your thoughts.